


Blooming Days

by yibaek



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Crying, Drinking, Drunk Dancing, Drunken (Consensual) Sex, Drunken Kissing, Fluff, Frottage, Kissing, Masturbation, Musicals, Past Heartbreak, Personal Growth, Pining, Polyamory, Texting, Unreliable Narrator, so much frottage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 07:48:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 70,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18890296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yibaek/pseuds/yibaek
Summary: Baekhyun is in love with his best friend and writes a musical about it. When rehearsals hit, he doesn't expect to fall for someone else along the way.





	1. Watch Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [ENTER] Jongdae.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI!!
> 
> this fic has been a long time coming, actually. it's been planned for well over a year. since the cbx japanese album 'girls' was dropped actually, so whenever that was. has it been two years? ANYWAY. this basically came about when one day i was listening to tornado spiral and thought, "man, this sounds like it would be in a musical," and then considered the entire mini album as songs from a musical, and then, when i actually started writing this, also had japanese singles and another album entirely to work with, so together, kiki (mysoulrunswithwolves) and i planned a musical, and then planned out this fic.
> 
> with that said, there ARE some scenes where characters audition or rehearse and i used lyrics to help everyone follow along, but DISCLAIMER: in some cases, i took an english translation of the song, and also changed up the words a bit to fit baekhyun's life better. the songs are still essentially the same, just with wording changed here and there.
> 
> i'd like to give a GIGANTIC thank you to kiki, because without her this fic WOULD. NOT. EXIST. she worked endlessly to help me through blocks and give me ideas when my brain just stopped working, so thank you bb. i love u <3
> 
> (pls make sure to read the tags before reading!!!!!)
> 
> i hope y'all enjoy~
> 
> [chapter 1 = approx. 17.5k words]

There was nothing quite like the feeling of sinking your fingers into someone's soft hair, Baekhyun thought. Rubbing and _scritching_ and massaging, a little tug here and there...

“Baekhyun.”

Jolting, Baekhyun sat up straight in his chair, hand unceremoniously falling from Minseok’s, soft, _soft_ black hair— _shit._ Baekhyun was doing the thing again. The thing where he completely zoned out and his hands had a mind of their own, making him do things like pet his best friend’s hair and probably give away how much he— _shit, fuck, damn._

Baekhyun laughed, raising a finger to scratch at his own head. “Sorry. I’m so drained, I guess my hand has a mind of its own.”

With a snort and an elbow to Baekhyun’s chest, Minseok shook his head. “It felt nice. But it was…” Minseok shifted in his chair, digging the tail-end of his pen into his bottom lip. “It was putting me to sleep, is all.” Baekhyun found himself disappointed, suddenly. “We have to finish this homework for Watson, don’t you think? Busy day tomorrow.”

 _“Ooh,”_ Baekhyun cooed obnoxiously. “My little kitten always being so responsible!” To dig himself an even deeper grave, Baekhyun reached over with both hands to ruffle Minseok’s hair, who immediately swatted at him until he stopped.

“Treat me with some respect! I’m older than you!”

“By one year, Minseokkie!”

“You insufferable little—“

Minseok playfully tugged at Baekhyun until he tumbled under Minseok’s arm and into his embrace. Baekhyun nestled against his shoulder easily, nuzzling his cheek there, smile unable to stay hidden.

It was easier when Minseok initiated affection. Maybe it hurt a little, knowing that it didn't mean much for Minseok other than brotherly companionship, but still, it was safer this way. Baekhyun didn’t overstep boundaries this way.

He wondered if he would ever fall out of love with his best friend.

+++

Baekhyun met Minseok when they were four and five years old, at the kids’ station in the waiting room of a hospital. Minseok was there with his aunt because his baby sister was being born, and Baekhyun was there with his uncle and big brother, Baekbeom, because his father was in emergency surgery.

Baekhyun was always full of energy, and the way his family was so nervous fed into that energy, so his brother sent him away when he became too annoying, grating against nine-year-old Baekbeom’s already frayed nerves.

He remembered feeling so sad—he’d never liked being snapped at—and dully knocking a toy dinosaur against the small red and yellow kids’ table, a sad trot for his sad moment, when suddenly another toy dinosaur knocked into his, gentle, playful, and Baekhyun had glanced up in surprise to find eyes that reminded him of the kitty next door smiling at him.

“You look sad,” the kid said. “That makes me sad, so we should fix that!”

Baekhyun blinked, and blinked again, unsure what to say even though a smile was already tugging at the corners of his lips. “I’m Baekhyun,” he murmured.

The boy knocked their toy dinosaurs together again. “I’m Minseok. My dinosaur’s name is Tan.”

Giggling, Baekhyun used one finger to pet the head of his brontosaurus. “My dinosaur’s name is… Mong...ryong… _Mongryong.”_

“That’s a cool name!”

Baekhyun was enamored from the start, probably, and it didn’t take long for them to become attached at the hip, like something right out of a movie. Their parents considered them an enigma, baffled at the way usually shy Minseok came out of his shell so easily around Baekhyun, and how usually boisterous Baekhyun could calm down with a mere touch or look from Minseok.

Their meeting was perfect timing, something their parents took advantage of with a new baby in one house and a sick father in another, but the boys didn’t mind. They could spend every minute of every day together and never grow tired of the company.

Minseok loved his little Baekhyun, and Baekhyun loved his little Minseok.

A little too much, in the end.

+++

“Baekhyunnie! I thought you and Kyungsoo were about to leave me hanging!”

Baekhyun laughed, balancing a carrier of coffees and hurrying up the steps of the auditorium to meet Chanyeol in the middle of the seats, the designated spot to judge play auditions from. “The line for coffee took too long. I’m not sure about Kyungsoo though. He’s your—“

“I’m here! I’m here.” Kyungsoo came bounding up the steps opposite from Baekhyun’s side, panting and cheeks red.

Chanyeol took the coffees from Baekhyun so he could sling his backpack onto the floor and plop into a chair next to his friend. Kyungsoo took the other side, pecking Chanyeol’s shoulder quickly before plucking the coffee cup donning a ‘K’ from the carrier. “Michaelson wouldn’t stop rambling and class ran over,” he belatedly explained, slapping Chanyeol away when he tried to steal a real kiss. “I got here as quickly as I could.”

“We got here on time!” Baekhyun pouted. “Chanyeollie was just being dramatic. There’s still five minutes till start time.”

“But we could’ve been hanging out! Having fun together! We hardly saw each other over summer and we’ve all been busy settling into new classes!”

Baekhyun scoffed, playful. “We literally live together, Chanyeol. Besides, you saw each other plenty. Instagram is enough proof for that—“

“You mean all the shots of my forehead and hair because I wouldn’t let him take pictures of my face every five seconds?” Kyungsoo deadpanned.

“Precisely,” Baekhyun nodded. “And sorry, but my idea of a good time isn’t third-wheeling while Kyungsoo rejects all of your public affection, Chanyeollie. I love you guys but you make me sad.”

“Speaking of,” Kyungsoo easily cut in. “Is Minseok actually auditioning or does he just get the part you wrote specifically for him so that he doesn’t suspect your love interest is the role _actually_ written about him?”

Baekhyun flailed, reaching across Chanyeol to slap at Kyungsoo’s thighs. “A little louder for the people in the back, asshole!” Kyungsoo raised his hands in defense, chuckling lowly while Baekhyun glanced around to make sure Minseok was backstage where he was supposed to be. “Anyway,” Baekhyun huffed. “He’s auditioning but the part was written specifically for him, alright? So it’s for him. I can’t—“ He sighed.

“You can’t risk him finding out the best friend role shouldn’t exist because the love interest is actually the best friend role?” Chanyeol supplied, and, well, _yeah._

Baekhyun sank in his seat. The politics surrounding this play, this musical were so _fucked._ It was his playwright debut, something he worked his ass off on with Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, and Yixing—their fourth and final roommate—last semester, composing late into the night nearly every night until it was exactly Baekhyun’s vision come to life. He nearly failed all of his classes because of it, but the final product was worth it, hearing demos of songs he helped create that would be performed the next semester was so _beyond_ worth it.

The opportunity had arisen in December, when their theatre director, Heechul _(“Call me Teacher or Professor or Mister and I’ll strangle you”),_ at their university announced a contest, a talent show of sorts, and the winner would be able to choose the musical the next fall semester. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, being the talented best friends they were, merely paired up for a duet and swept the competition away, taking first place and excitedly approaching Heechul with the idea for a homegrown musical, so to speak.

Baekhyun already had the plot and pieces of dialogue and an endless fountain of ideas for songs, and fortunately Heechul had a soft spot for the both of them because he easily agreed with a, “Fine. You have the spring semester to give me something good and produce a demo for auditions. If I hate it we’re doing Grease.”

Luckily, Heechul loved the demos, and the draft.

Now the whole community would get to see a musical exploiting Baekhyun’s own sexual awakening.

+++

Baekhyun spent his entire childhood leading up to his sixteenth birthday thinking girls were the answer for him. They were _it,_ in more ways than one. He loved turning on what he considered _The Charm_ when wooing girls at his school, using humor to really reel them in when they were close enough. It somehow always, mostly, worked, earning him many kisses under the bleachers for his hard, hard work.

It was his sixteenth birthday specifically, an average day, really, when he realized that maybe girls _weren't_ it.

He was dating Irene, head cheerleader, at the time, and everything was going great; she was at his right, Minseok was at his left, and together, they were surrounded by all of Baekhyun's _closest_ friends, or, at least, the people he'd spoken at least a sentence to in his life. (Thanks, Mom, for sending invites out to the entire grade.)

The thing is, his parents always trusted him more than they should've, meaning they let Baekhyun, and twenty other teenagers have the house to themselves. _"We're just down the road,"_ his mother had said. _"We'll hear you if things get too rowdy, y'know."_ But it was a lie, and she underestimated the power of _word of mouth,_ and a few of the teenagers somehow, some way, got their hands on a seemingly endless supply of alcohol, and brought it with them.

Baekhyun had sipped on wine with his mother before, but nothing much more than that, so that was the night he also discovered he was the lightest of lightweights, so much so, that a couple of beers did him in _hard._ And then, as a bunch of trashed teens are wont to do, they gathered for a round of _Seven Minutes in Heaven._

The first round, by some miracle, sent Baekhyun and Irene into Baekhyun's giant, walk-in closet, and he vividly remembered having a drunken blast, heatedly making out with her while she felt him up. For a while, Baekhyun used that as an excuse for his actions in the third spin of the game.

When Minseok landed on Baekhyun.

The twist on this game of theirs, was that the inside of the closet, from the shoulders up, was being streamed to the outside so The Leader, some kid named Minho, could make sure everyone actually kissed for their seven minutes. It was the weirdest, most voyeuristic thing they could’ve done in retrospect, Baekhyun realized.

But he, well, he _had_ to kiss his best friend. He just hadn't expected to _like it._

It had been awkward at first, when they walked into the closet, but then they'd sort of laughed at each other and Baekhyun had said, "Well, let's get this over with," and pulled Minseok in for a stilted kiss.

But it was Minseok gently grabbing onto Baekhyun's waist that shifted the dynamic, something about the way he so precariously touched Baekhyun's lower body that made Baekhyun melt against him, molding them into one as their kisses grew more natural, and heated.

He remembered vividly the way Minseok's hair had felt between his fingers—somehow even softer than Irene's—when he'd sunk his hands into it after Minseok's tongue slipped into his mouth. He remembered whimpering when Minseok pressed him against the shoe rack and his thigh slid right into place between Baekhyun's.

He remembered Minho yelling through the door that their time was up, and how neither one of them pulled away.

If anything, Minseok only kissed Baekhyun harder, turning him to putty in his hands, and the only thing able to stop them was Minho and Jonghyun breaking into the closet and dragging them out to face everyone who had just witnessed what they had done. Everyone who knew they had gone too far.

Baekhyun wasn't surprised when Irene broke up with him the next day.

He pretended to be surprised, of course, just like he pretended, for a while, that he was merely still worked up over Irene when he and Minseok had been five seconds from going all the way in the fucking _closet,_ but he couldn't lie to himself for very long.

"I think I'm bi," he'd muttered to Minseok after the longest week of his life, AKA the week they barely spoke to each other while things cooled down at school.

"I know I'm gay," Minseok had muttered back, and then he laughed and rolled his eyes. "Dummy," he'd added for good measure, and everything was fine after that.

Except for, of course, the fact they never actually talked about the kissing, which did not bode well for the sudden giant crush on his best friend that Baekhyun was left with.

It didn't seem to bother Minseok, who pretty quickly jumped into a relationship with a senior named Max. But that left Baekhyun to go through his existential crisis alone, and to immediately classify the raging hard-on for his best friend as null and void; never going to happen.

+++

The trials of a budding bisexual, crushes and exploration, falling in love with someone totally unexpected and eventually coming to accept it; that’s what Baekhyun’s play was really about.

He had to take creative liberties, of course, to hide the real motivation behind the play, as his friends were always so kind to point out. But that also meant he got to write himself a happy ending, and if that was the closest he would ever get to being with Minseok, then so be it.

Being an actor was all about pretending anyway.

"The set looks good," Baekhyun absentmindedly noted, picking at the sleeve around his coffee cup. "Yixing and Minseok did well." They were the only two who got out of class early enough out of the five of them to put together the bedroom set. There wasn't much to it; there were some stabilized prop walls, a bookcase, a bed, and a nightstand, but it was convincing enough.

Chanyeol frowned and leaned forward to get a better look at Baekhyun's face. "Did I overstep? I'm sorry—"

"What?" Baekhyun blinked out of his sudden haze, sitting up a little straighter. "You didn't do anything. I'm fine, Yeol."

That only made Chanyeol's frown deepen. "You got all quiet, though. After I said the thing about the best friend and love interest roles."

"Oh." Baekhyun had forgotten to respond to that, hadn't he? He shook his head, patting Chanyeol's knee. "Don't worry, bud. I just got lost in thought."

Kyungsoo leaned forward now, and rested his cheek against Chanyeol's arm so he could look at Baekhyun, a familiar look of understanding on his face. "What got you so lost?"

Baekhyun smiled. "All of this, I guess. I was just...thinking about what led me here. To this musical." He bit his lip and laughed. "I'm really nervous."

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, but it was good-natured. His hand rested on Baekhyun's atop Chanyeol's knee. "This is gonna be great, Baekhyun. In a lot of ways."

Baekhyun dropped his gaze at that.

"And who knows," Chanyeol added, smiling bright in Baekhyun’s peripheral. "Maybe Minseok seeing you all up close and personal with someone else on stage will like, push him in the right direction. _Your_ direction."

Baekhyun scrunched up his nose. "If nothing's happened by now, I'm doomed to live alone, guys."

Kyungsoo and Chanyeol sighed in unison, and it almost made Baekhyun sad. They were so _in-sync,_ because they were so _in love._ Baekhyun wanted that so, so badly. And at this rate, he would likely never have it.

At that particular moment, Minseok chose to poke his head out from the curtains concealing most of the side of the stage, and he smiled when he saw Baekhyun. He stepped out and walked to the edge of the stage to face them directly. "It's time," he said, cutely rocking up onto his toes and clasping his hands behind his back. "Should we start sending them out?"

The three of them nodded, and Baekhyun's lips stretched into a wide grin. "Thanks, Minseokkie."

Minseok's smile matched his. "Anytime, Baekhyun."

From there, they dived into auditions. Minseok and Yixing sent hopefuls out one by one from backstage, and Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and Kyungsoo smiled at them all.

Even the really awful ones.

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun whined when the latest freshman with zero technical skill left the stage. “Can’t you just—be my lead?”

Kyungsoo chuckled, shaking his head. “You know I want to be up there with you, Baek, but I can’t. Doctor’s orders.”

"Yeah," Chanyeol pouted sternly, if there ever were such a thing, and wrapped an arm around Kyungsoo's shoulders, pulling him close. Kyungsoo surprisingly let him, though Baekhyun didn't miss the fond look in his eyes as Chanyeol started gently caressing Kyungsoo's throat. "We must protect the precious vocal chords."

Baekhyun opened his mouth to respond, but Kyungsoo narrowed his eyes at him. "Say one thing about our sex life and I'll murder you right here and now."

Baekhyun cooed, reaching over to pinch Kyungsoo's cheek. "I love you, too, buddy."

Kyungsoo slapped his hand away as Chanyeol laughed, picking up the notebook in his hand. "I think we've got good contenders so far," he said, then turned to Baekhyun. "Seulgi and Taeyeon both auditioned to play Wendy, but they're both amazing."

"There was no one promising that auditioned for Tiffany, though," Kyungsoo pointed out, his voice hesitant on the name. Baekhyun bit the inside of his cheek. "I think Taeyeon would be great as...her."

"You're not wrong," Baekhyun easily agreed. "I told her beforehand she'd make a great Tiffany, but she said she'd audition for Wendy just because I said that." They all laughed, and a little darkness lifted from Baekhyun’s chest. Taeyeon was a senior, like them, and had been alongside Baekhyun and Kyungsoo in voice and musical theatre classes from the beginning. She and Baekhyun were similar in a lot of ways people never expected, particularly where their humor was concerned, and they loved picking on each other because of it. He knew she secretly coveted the role of Tiffany, and Baekhyun was just glad no one nearly as good as her auditioned for it.

"So put her down for Tiffany?" Chanyeol chuckled.

Baekhyun smiled. "Yeah. I mean, I'll talk to her to make sure, but, yeah." His character and Tiffany would be going through some...emotionally heavy scenes, since Tiffany was _Suzy,_ Baekhyun’s college ex-girlfriend who he’d felt sure he loved enough to marry, and who still tended to be a sore subject. It had been risky to his mental health including her in this musical, he knew, but either way, he'd feel much better about putting those scenes together with someone he was comfortable with. "Seulgi's pretty perfect for Wendy, honestly." The representative character of _Irene._ Seulgi was two years below them, and a little more tomboy-ish than Irene was, but there was just something about her that _clicked._

"Seulgi for Wendy. Got it." Chanyeol started a list on his notebook. "Minseok as Min..."

Kyungsoo snorted. "Have I mentioned how original that character name is yet?"

"Oh, I don't know," Baekhyun sighed. "Only at least twenty times since we started writing this script."

Kyungsoo laughed and shook his head. "Chanyeollie, Yixing, and I will fill in as the college friends who don't really have solos."

"Yes, but Yixing’s one of the dancers, too,” Chanyeol agreed, writing their names down. "Protect the vocal chords," he added as he finished up Kyungsoo's name with a flourish. Baekhyun rolled his eyes.

"Hopefully with this last round of guys, we'll find some good vocalists to throw in the mix and background and stuff," he said. The only auditions left were for the big role. _The_ role that would be alongside Baekhyun for most of the musical, playing as the fictional version of Minseok. "We also need to assign understudies. Yeri, Krystal, and Jennie did stand out during the girls' auditions."

Chanyeol nodded along as he wrote those names down. "We'll figure out the rest later," he said decidedly. "I'm starving so we should like, get this show on the road."

Just like that, Baekhyun's stomach growled. "Dammit, Yeol."

“Why is Yeol’s superpower making people realize they’re hungry?” Kyungsoo miserably pondered, clearly also starving.

“I don’t know but let’s get pizza after this, please?”

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo immediately agreed, and the last round of auditions began.

There were much better singers this time around than there were for Minseok’s role. Though, Baekhyun supposed most of the musical theatre kids knew the role was for Minseok and didn’t bother auditioning.

A freshman named Jaehyun opened the round, who was surprisingly talented, but possibly a little too shy for the role he wanted to play. Junmyeon, another classmate since freshman year, was also a solid choice; his voice was loud and bold and he looked the part. But he did tend to be _a little_ stiff on stage, and typically did better in period pieces.

There were many more auditions, only a few more that were noteworthy, but by the time there were only two people left, Baekhyun was worried no one would fit this role exactly how he pictured. He didn’t even recognize the names left on his list. What if they were terrible? What if Baekhyun had to settle for less than ideal for his playwright debut?

He was dragged out of his thoughts by a loud, almost piercing voice introducing himself on stage. “My name’s Jongdae. This is my first, uh, and last, year at this uni, but I was in musical theatre at my last college, so I know what I’m doing.”

Chanyeol and Baekhyun both snickered. “A lot of confidence for someone we don’t know,” Baekhyun said, smiling curiously. “I like it.”

Jongdae turned to him, tilting his head like a cat calculating its next pounce. “This role needs confidence,” he says easily. “Also I sit in the back of your Vocal Tech class.” Baekhyun blinked. They’d only had that class once so far. Jongdae shrugged as if he could read Baekhyun’s mind. “Someone pointed you out as the writer of this semester’s musical. I thought it was interesting they let a student write one, so I decided to check it out.”

“That’s…” Baekhyun hesitated. “Flattering. I think. I assume you like the audition song? If you’re auditioning, I mean. Clearly you don’t think it’s terrible.”

“No. It’s fantastic.” Jongdae clicked his tongue as an accent. “I was surprised, but that’s a good thing.” He grinned, and Baekhyun felt a bit uneasy at the level of mischievousness behind it. “Now,” Jongdae said, opening his arms wide and flourishing at the stage around him. “You gonna join me up here or what?”

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun laughed suddenly. ”What?”

Jongdae cocked an eyebrow. “Well, it’s not a very realistic audition if I’m up here all by myself, is it?” Baekhyun opened his mouth to speak, but Jongdae plowed on. “What if we have no chemistry?”

“He has a point,” Kyungsoo mumbled just loud enough for the three of them seated to hear.

Baekhyun leaned forward to glare at him around Chanyeol. Then he said, “I didn’t do that for anyone else. How is that fair?”

"I'm just saying," Jongdae continued. "You wrote this, right?" Baekhyun begrudgingly nodded, even though they had literally just talked about that. Jongdae shrugged. "If it were me, I'd wanna make sure the thing goes off without a hitch."

"Do you have stage fright or something?" Baekhyun questioned, perhaps a little too judgmentally. "Because this might not be for y—"

"Do _you_ have stage fright?"

The room fell silent, and Baekhyun swallowed under the heat of everyone suddenly staring at him. He looked at his friends next to him. Chanyeol's expression was sympathetic at best, but it was still Kyungsoo who pushed. "Just go, Baek. You'd know this song in your sleep."

Baekhyun sighed. "Yeah, yeah," he said, and against his better judgment, he stood up.

Jongdae cheered from his spot on stage, annoyingly smug, and Yixing slipped onto their row, patting Baekhyun on the butt and taking his seat, effectively ruining any chances Baekhyun had of sitting back down.

The walk down the auditorium steps felt remarkably like a walk of shame, which, Baekhyun had made a few times in his early college life, but it was a little more humiliating doing this in front of all of his friends, letting this stranger take control of his production like that.

Baekhyun made eye contact with Minseok as he entered stage right, who smiled with a little more genuine sympathy than Chanyeol had at least, and offered him a cute thumbs up. Baekhyun tried not to melt on the spot.

Then he shifted his gaze to Jongdae, and they held eyes as Baekhyun crossed the stage, a challenge if Baekhyun had ever seen one. "You're familiar with the scene?" he questioned.

The scene which, incidentally enough, was based off of drunk teenagers playing _Seven Minutes in Heaven_ and throwing two friends together to heatedly make out for the first, and last, time.

While Minseok watched.

This would be fine.

Jongdae scoffed, affronted, and didn't continue to turn and face Baekhyun as Baekhyun sat on the edge of the prop bed behind him.

Apparently Jongdae wasn't going to provide an answer to that.

Instead, he tossed the script in his hand a few feet in front of him and gestured _okay_ with his hand at the sound guy, and Baekhyun could only chuckle under his breath before inhaling deeply, falling into character on his exhale. He slumped forward just a little, bracing himself with his hands against his thighs, gripping the edge of the bed.

_“The red full moon floats in the lonely night,_  
_I feel this overturning feeling building up inside of me.”_

Baekhyun looked up from where he was supposed to be staring at his lap, caught off guard by the soft but steady voice falling from Jongdae's lips as he stared out at the mostly empty auditorium, just to Baekhyun's left so the audience could see him too, backed by nothing but the silence surrounding them. Baekhyun blinked rapidly, trying to rid himself of his clear surprise so he could fall back in character before Jongdae did...whatever it was he planned on doing.

_“A piercing stare lights up the night and flies from the cage,”_

Jongdae peered over his shoulder—his vocals a little clearer—and Baekhyun realized too late he'd never looked back down at his lap. He scrambled to do so right then, suddenly terrified of Jongdae's next move when he had a voice so mesmerizing. Baekhyun's skin was covered in goosebumps within twenty seconds.

_“I'm ambushing my prey in the sleepless forest.”_

In a flash, Jongdae was sitting on the other side of the bed, music cutting in to back his voice as he dove headfirst into the pre-chorus, loud, clear, _strong._

_“I need your love…_  
_I’m saying gimme love, gimme love._  
_I will scream and shout…_  
_That love, light it up, light it up.”_

Baekhyun felt the bed dip closer to him, indicating Jongdae was moving closer, maybe using his hands to crawl toward him, and somewhere in the back of Baekhyun's mind, he knew it was time for him to move anyway, but he thought it was probably a bout of sheer, panic that shoved him from the bed in that moment, with Jongdae's clean, provocative voice so close. It was almost intimidating.

When he turned to face the bed, he backed into a prop bookcase, though taking care not to press too hard against it. Jongdae was crawling across the bed in his direction.

_“Can you feel it now? This thirst…_  
_Will you gimme love?_  
_...Gimme love?”_

Jongdae smoothly bounded over the edge of the bed, landing on his feet and taking two large steps toward Baekhyun.

_“I’m going…”_

Jongdae stepped into Baekhyun's personal bubble, and he felt the bookcase begin to protest as he pressed a little harder against it out of pure reflex.

_“Ooh…”_

Jongdae's falsetto was to _die_ for, Baekhyun quickly realized, but also, this close, he also realized just how attractive Jongdae's _face_ was, all smooth, tan skin and curly lips.

_“Are you ready?”_

Jongdae walked his fingers up Baekhyun's chest, and Baekhyun knew, in that moment, he would never survive this.

_“Ooh…”_

Baekhyun ducked away from the unfairly attractive stranger, barely remembering to keep his body facing the audience as he stumbled across the stage—only partly for show—and Jongdae followed him, jumping into the suddenly ominous chorus.

_“You better watch out;_  
_the fangs chasing you are danger._  
_Watch out; reason shouting out..._  
_You need to know I will lose my control.”_

In fact, they stumbled all over the stage together throughout the entire chorus, in what should have been an uncoordinated choreography, but it somehow wasn't. Baekhyun ran and Jongdae chased, coming just short of Baekhyun every time while his voice continued ringing across the stage undeterred, as if they were merely standing in place.

_"You better watch out; thunder ripping out your heart._  
_Watch out; opposites fighting against each other._  
_You need to run. I roared a groan."_

Baekhyun stopped center stage and plastered an appropriately wary expression on his face, knowing what lyrics were coming. If Jongdae could follow his lead right then, Baekhyun knew he would hand the part to him.

He startled when fingers crept gently onto his waist from behind, and a breath shuddered against his right ear just before Jongdae's voice sensuously continued,

_"A lost little lamb with innocent eyes...why don’t you look around..."_

Baekhyun turned his head to catch Jongdae, but Jongdae ducked to his other ear.

_“The soft breathing beside you is the lone wolf."_

Just as Baekhyun moved to dart away again, Jongdae caught his hand, pulling him into him and effectively knocking the breath from Baekhyun's chest.

_"Ooh..."_

Baekhyun stared into Jongdae's heady gaze with wide eyes. His hands absentmindedly found homes on Jongdae's hips.

_"Are you ready? Ooh..."_

Jerking away, Baekhyun incorporated his own surprise into his character, spinning away from Jongdae with his hands on his head, in his hair, and only lowered them, slowly, when Jongdae fell into step beside him, already into the next chorus. They stared each other down as they circled one another, and Jongdae sang passionately into Baekhyun's _soul._

He could also hear his friends shouting along to the lyrics from their seats, clearly having the time of their lives while they watched Baekhyun suffer greatly, and he briefly considered if flipping them off would be inappropriate.

When Baekhyun stopped moving, Jongdae didn't, continuing to circle him like he was his next meal, and Baekhyun found himself tugging at the collar of his shirt without thinking. It was suddenly _very_ hot in the auditorium.

_"Watch out, I don’t want to hurt you..."_

Baekhyun slipped to his left, turning his back on a still hovering Minseok, but it felt like a grave mistake when Jongdae was all but on top of him, their feet shuffling together as Baekhyun backed up, backed up, backed up.

He fell to his butt just in time for the next fucking _sexy, "Ooh..."_ and felt his jaw slacken in utter shock when Jongdae knelt to the ground with him, carefully crawling over him even when Baekhyun continued scooting backward, as Jongdae sang, _"I've got you crying...ooh..."_

They jolted apart at the start of the next chorus, for very different reasons, Baekhyun was sure, seeing as Jongdae's departure was much smoother when he hopped off of Baekhyun.

Baekhyun merely needed to remember how to stand back up.

_"You better watch out; this desire is danger."_

He scrambled to his feet, eyes a bit wild as Jongdae sang the chorus at the ceiling, and then at Baekhyun, softening his voice just barely as he walked over, planted a firm hand on Baekhyun's chest, and backed him into the nearest prop wall.

Baekhyun only realized how hopelessly turned on he was once Jongdae was hiking Baekhyun's leg up and around his waist, his free hand sliding up Baekhyun's neck and into his hair.

_"You better watch out; thunder is burning in my chest."_

Their crotches pressed together enticingly, which was unavoidable with Jongdae's choice of position, but it made it very hard for Baekhyun to breathe, all the same.

_"Watch out; I don’t want to hurt you."_

His only vice was sinking his fingers into Jongdae's hair and gripping the strands tight. Jongdae's eyes darkened, pupils blown, which was, at least, mildly satisfying, even if Baekhyun was doomed to die of blue balls thanks to his own fucking play.

_"You need to run; I roared a groan."_

The music faded and Baekhyun's breath hitched when Jongdae suddenly leaned in, hand sliding further up the underside of Baekhyun's thigh.

_"Ooh..."_

Baekhyun's lips parted as his head hit the wall behind him. There was nowhere for him to go, but at this rate, he wasn't really sure he _wanted_ to go anywhere anyway. Jongdae was so unreasonably _hot._

_"Are you ready?"_

Their noses brushed, and Baekhyun felt faint. Jongdae's lips were _right there._

_"Ooh..."_

Jongdae's voice faded out, leaving nothing but devastating, deafening silence in its wake.

A lot of things happened at once.

Baekhyun's friends erupted into raucous cheers just as Baekhyun's eyes locked with Minseok's across the stage, whose arms were crossed and lips were pursed. Baekhyun's heart dropped, but before he could assess any problems, his world was knocked off-kilter by Jongdae dropping his leg and letting him go altogether, in favor of walking to center stage to beam and bow at Yixing, Chanyeol, and Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun heaved a giant breath, steadying himself against the prop wall, which was thankfully sturdier than the bookshelf, just before Jongdae made his way back over, eyes much brighter than they had been when Baekhyun had pulled his hair less than a minute ago.

"So," Jongdae said, lips curling up mischievously as his eyes scanned Baekhyun's likely disheveled body up and down once. "Do I get the part?"

Baekhyun didn't need his friends' obnoxious pleas from the other side of the auditorium to make a decision. "Yep," he squeaked, which was embarrassing enough, but he only hoped it was enough to distract Jongdae from noticing he was definitely at least half-hard in his jeans. "Yep, I think so."

There was no denying their chemistry, even if Baekhyun had spent the entire song in a mild state of panic.

He was so, utterly screwed.

 

“Oh, you’re screwed,” Kyungsoo said when Baekhyun plopped into the chair next to him a little while later.

Yixing leaned over to add, “I certainly hope so. That guy was attractive.”

“This musical is going to be amazing,” Chanyeol proclaimed, a wide, sparkling grin on his face.

Baekhyun sank in his seat as Jongdae turned to wave at him smugly from the exit door, full script in hand. “This musical is going to be the death of me,” Baekhyun muttered, half-heartedly waving back.

“Yeah.” Kyungsoo sighed and patted Baekhyun’s knee. “Sucks.” Baekhyun smacked him over the head.

“Can we get pizza now?” Chanyeol whined while Kyungsoo pinched Baekhyun back.

Everyone nodded and started to stand, but Kyungsoo said, “I think Baekhyun needs a cold shower first.”

“Leave me alone!” Baekhyun screeched, covering his crotch with his hands. 

While everyone laughed at his expense, Minseok bounded up from Baekhyun’s other side. “What’d I miss?” he asked. “Backstage is clear, by the way.”

“Nothing!” Baekhyun whined, before anyone else could say anything. He scrambled to get behind Minseok, holding onto his waist and using him as a human shield. “They’re picking on me.”

He could feel Minseok’s eye roll, but he could also feel the warmth that tingled along his skin when Minseok’s hands rested on his. “I’m sure you deserve it,” Minseok said.

The others laughed and Baekhyun whined again. He pressed his forehead between Minseok’s shoulder blades. “Protect me,” he mumbled.

“What do I get out of it?”

Baekhyun pouted, though no one could see it. “My love and affection.”

“And that’s different than what I already get, how?”

“Yeah, sorry, pup,” Yixing cut in. “You’re our affectionate little...pup.”

Kyungsoo snorted. “Our affectionate little brat, maybe.”

 _”Guys!”_ Baekhyun cried out before anyone else could add on. He slipped his hands fully around Minseok’s waist and rested his chin on Minseok’s shoulder, pout in full force. “Be nice to me.”

Yixing cooed, Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, and Chanyeol was already edging toward the end of the row, tugging gently on Kyungsoo’s hand. “Let’s eat,” he almost whined. “We’ve been here all day.”

“Oh yes,” Minseok said. “Are we getting food? I’m starving.”

“Pizza!” Baekhyun happily exclaimed, then paused. “Wait, don’t change the subject!”

The other three merely chuckled and turned around, walking away, so Baekhyun squeezed Minseok’s waist. “Are you not going to let me walk?” Minseok asked, unimpressed.

“Mmm. Let me pretend to be mad for five more seconds,” Baekhyun muttered, nuzzling his cheek against Minseok’s shoulder.

Minseok laughed quietly, only for them, and patted Baekhyun’s hands before gently gripping them. And when the five seconds were up, he used that grip to pry Baekhyun’s arms from him and walk forward, dragging Baekhyun with him down the row and auditorium.

Their friends were waiting for them at the door, and Baekhyun smiled to himself when Minseok didn’t let go of one of his hands as they all left together.

+++

Baekhyun was five seconds from falling over in line at the campus coffee shop when an arm slipped around his waist, becoming his crutch where he was leaning dangerously to the right.

“You’re about to fall asleep standing up, Baekhyunnie,” Minseok gently chided.

Baekhyun hummed and let his head loll onto Minseok’s shoulder. “Coffee,” he rasped.

Minseok laughed and shook his head. “Did you stay up all night playing video games with Chanyeol again?” Baekhyun pouted as he nodded, and Minseok clicked his tongue. “I ought to make you stand in line for the both of us to make you suffer.”

 _“Min…”_ Baekhyun whined. “I’ll buy whatever you’re getting if you just...make sure I don’t pass out right here.”

Minseok _tsked,_ patting Baekhyun’s side. “Yeah, yeah. It’s what I’m here for, dummy.”

Baekhyun bit his lip as he nuzzled his head more comfortably into the crook of Minseok’s neck. He crossed his right arm over his torso to slide his fingers onto Minseok’s. He always was a little bolder when he was dead on his feet. “Thanks,” he murmured.

"Baekhyun? Thanking me before he's had his morning coffee?" Minseok teased. "What alternate reality have I stepped into?"

They moved forward together in line, and Baekhyun liked that he could feel Minseok breathing deeply against him. He hummed, letting his eyes fall shut. "Y'know I love you, right, Minseok?"

If they weren't completely pressed against each other, Baekhyun wouldn't have felt the way Minseok froze up for the shortest second. He was too exhausted to dwell on it however and sniffled, suddenly aware that he was very much falling asleep right there. Minseok cleared his throat. "Yeah, Baekhyun. I love you, too."

Baekhyun's smile was a little sad, even in his almost-asleep state. "I appreciate you so much," he muttered.

Before Minseok could respond, it was their turn at the counter. Minseok didn't let go of Baekhyun the way he normally might have, gently placing their usual orders with the barista and handing over the bills to pay for it all. Baekhyun watched it happen through hazy eyes and tried to weakly protest, but Minseok merely shushed him, grabbing the little paper bags with their pastries the barista handed over and guiding Baekhyun to an empty table in the corner.

"Honestly, Baek," he was saying as he carefully dropped Baekhyun in a chair. Minseok sat next to him so Baekhyun could lean against him. "You should get more sleep. You won't even make it through class at this point. Even with coffee."

"I'll...be fine."

"Maybe you should just go home and get some rest. I'll let you use my notes—"

"No." Baekhyun shook his head. "I'm going to class."

Minseok huffed a laugh. "While I appreciate your enthusiasm for learning for once, it's not an important day, so you should just—"

But Baekhyun shook his head again, picking it up to sleepily gaze at his friend. "I don't care about the class."

"There he is."

"Sometimes class is the only time I get to spend with you now." Minseok made a surprised noise. "And if it's not class, we're studying. I don't know. I miss seeing you as much as I did when we were kids. We don't get enough time now between school and work and whatever else."

It felt like Baekhyun's fault more than anything, having made the split decision to move in with Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, and Yixing at the start of last semester. Their roommate stealthily moved out in the middle of the night and left a room open, and they were about to start plotting out the musical, so they all figured, why not?

But moving closer to campus and in with his college best friends meant moving further _away_ from Minseok, who still lived with his parents and just down the road from Baekhyun's mother. They were now a twenty minute commute from each other which seemed normal for school, but felt like light years when it came to seeing each other. Their schedules rarely matched up, except for Mondays and Wednesdays at the asscrack of dawn when they met for coffee before their one shared class.

"I know, Baekhyunnie. I miss it too. But at least there's the musical now, yeah?" Baekhyun pouted. "We'll see each other a lot more with practices."

"I know you're right, but I still miss you." Baekhyun let himself fall until his forehead connected with Minseok's shoulder, and Minseok patted his head placatingly. "Why can't we go back to when we were kids?" _Before we kissed and I stupidly fell in love with you?_

Minseok sighed. "Oh, Baekhyunnie." Baekhyun heard him take a breath to say something else, but the barista called Minseok's name, stealing his attention away instead. So Minseok got up, and Baekhyun grumpily shot off a quick text to the house group chat.

 **baekhyun** <<  
_why do you ppl let_  
_me leave the house_  
_when i'm sleep deprived_

 **baekhyun** <<  
_i talk too much when_  
_i haven't slept_  
_:((((((_

>> **kyungsoo**  
_you talk too much_  
_period_

 **baekhyun** <<  
_you're the only one_  
_awake, aren't you :(_  
_go be mean to_  
_chanyeol bye_

>> **kyungsoo**  
_ >.< don't sweat_  
_whatever nonsense_  
_you're spewing to_  
_minseok. you're fine_

 **baekhyun** <<  
_UWU THANKS_

Baekhyun hesitantly smiled up at Minseok when he sat back down with their drinks. He took his large cup gratefully and immediately sipped it.

"Who else is up this early?" Minseok asked. He scooted their phones and his cup out of the way, pulling their muffins from their bags so they could share and dig in. Minseok always got banana nut, and Baekhyun always got strawberry, and they _always_ picked at each other's as much as their own, despite Minseok's tendency to fall on the side of germophobia.

"Kyungsoo," Baekhyun mumbled into his cup, inhaling the steam happily. His phone buzzed and he quickly checked it before reserving all of his attention for Minseok.

>> **kyungsoo**  
_see you in a_  
_couple of hours~_  
_i know you're excited_

 **baekhyun** <<  
_\o/ !!!!!!_

"Kyungsoo is making you smile at six in the morning?" Minseok questioned. "Maybe I really did step into an alternate universe."

Baekhyun laughed, locking his phone and setting it down. He turned his body to face Minseok. "He was just saying he knows I'm excited about posting the results after we get out of class."

Minseok's smile was bright and pleasant. "Excited enough to wake you up a bit, clearly." He leaned forward to nudge Baekhyun's arm. "I'm so happy for you, you know. This musical is going to be amazing. I'm proud of you."

 _"Aww,_ Minseok!" Baekhyun whined. But then he smiled down at his lap. "Thanks."

Their conversation flowed easily from there, and they laughed over steaming coffee and muffin crumbs until it was time to traipse to class together, arm in arm.

 

 

The nervousness Baekhyun felt was inexplicable as he gingerly pushed the thumbtack into the corkboard outside the auditorium, holding the cast list for _his_ musical in place. It was a moment for the books, he knew, excitement fluttering in his belly when he heard murmurs behind him from people reading the paper. People who would bring his play to life.

He fleetingly wondered if Jongdae would show up.

The thought only made him more nervous, jumpy even, so he focused on the warmth of his roommates to his right—Minseok had class—and the soft _”Nice!”_ that sounded behind him, which definitely belonged to Seulgi.

Baekhyun beamed and spun around, crashing into her with an enthusiastic hug. They laughed together. “You’re gonna be great!” Baekhyun swore, rocking her back and forth. “The perfect Wendy.”

She pulled away from him, playfully punching him in the shoulder. “Don’t flatter me, Baek. But thanks for choosing me.”

“You earned it!”

Seulgi was soon replaced with Taeyeon, who walked up to him tapping her chin. “I seem to remember auditioning for Wendy, Baekhyun Byun.”

He tugged on one of her long, braided pigtails and scrunched his nose. “As if we haven’t already discussed this.” He laughed. “Stop trying to make me look bad in front of my cast!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Taeyeon laughed too. “Mister Macho Playwright, coming through, everyone.”

Cackling, Baekhyun pulled her into a hug. “Hush,” he said.

“I can’t wait to read the full script, Hyun,” she said earnestly, rubbing his back. “We’re gonna kick ass this year.”

“Excuse me.” He pushed her back by the shoulders. “We kick ass every year!”

“Touché!”

They laughed again, and she moved to stand next to him as he called over everyone who had made the cut and was able to show up for the posting. He congratulated them all and debriefed them on their first rehearsal, while Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, and Yixing handed out scripts. 

At the end, Baekhyun hugged each and every one of them, unable to contain his excitement.

“Should I just throw everyone in a group chat to make things easier?” Baekhyun asked Yixing as they leisurely walked back to their apartment. They were done with classes for the day and it was beautiful outside, so Baekhyun had tossed Kyungsoo his car keys and decided to walk instead.

Yixing hummed. “Seems like your best bet.”

“Hmm. I think I have everyone’s numbers except for the freshmen and the demon.”

“Demon?” Yixing laughed.

Baekhyun’s smile was sheepish. “That Jongdae guy.” His phone buzzed in his hand. “Oh, hold on, Xing. It’s my mom.” He answered the phone. “Hi, Ma,” he said, tone sweet as he and Yixing slowed their pace a little more, comfortably bumping shoulders.

_”Hey honey! How are you doing?”_

“Good,” he sang. “We just posted the cast list for the musical!”

_“Ooh! You haven’t even told me about auditions yet! You must be so excited.”_

Baekhyun beamed, though only Yixing could see him. “Yeah, I am. Auditions were…” He chuckled. “Wild, thinking back. Like, watching all of those people perform songs that I helped create, for a musical I put together? The fact people were even interested enough!”

Suddenly, Yixing grabbed his phone and put it on speaker. “Some were more interested than others,” he said, his tone suggesting something more provocative than necessary. Baekhyun gaped at him.

_”Is that Yixing?”_

“Hi, Mrs. Byun,” Yixing said with a smile. “Hope you’re doing well.”

_”I am, Yixing, thank you! You haven’t come to see me in a while.”_

Yixing pouted. “I know. Work has been taking all of my spare time. Baekhyunnie and me will have to make time for dinner one night.”

_”Yes, you better! And bring the other boys, too! Kyungsoo and Chanyeol. And Minseok of course, but I can drag him here myself. I see him more than I see Baekhyun lately!”_

“Mom,” Baekhyun whined.

She laughed. _”Okay, okay. Back to business. What did you mean by ‘some were more interested than others’, Yixing?”_

“Yeah, what does that mean?” Baekhyun narrowed his eyes at his friend.

Yixing smiled. “Mama Byun, there was this new guy that auditioned to play Baekhyun’s lead—“

“Yixing!”

“—and he was hot and I’m pretty sure he swept our Baekhyunnie here off his feet.”

_”Ooh! Tell me more! He’s playing Baekhyunnie’s love interest? Did he make Baekhyun blush?”_

“He did, Mama Byun, he did.”

Baekhyun crossed his arms over his chest. “I object!”

 _”Is he a freshman?”_ His mother asked, ignoring his protest.

“A senior, actually! I’m not sure how that works but that’s what he said.”

 _”Oh, perfect!”_ Baekhyun pinched the bridge of his nose. _”What’s this love interest’s name?”_

“His name is Jongdae, and he’s—“

Baekhyun gasped, jumping behind Yixing and grasping his arms. “He’s right over there!” He peeked over Yixing’s shoulder, eyes wide. Jongdae was standing at the nearby coffee cart, laughing with a tall guy that Baekhyun didn’t recognize.

“Are you sure?” Yixing asked. “I can’t really tell.”

“I would know those cheekbones anywhere!”

Yixing snickered and Baekhyun’s mother cackled in delight. _”Oh, you really do have a crush!”_

“I _don’t,”_ Baekhyun insisted. “I don’t even know him!”

“Yet!” Yixing and Mrs. Byun both said, and Baekhyun groaned, pressing his forehead into Yixing’s shoulder.

Yixing laughed. “He’s hiding behind me, Mrs. Byun.”

_”You should go talk to him!”_

“Absolutely not. He’s busy. I’m busy. I’m talking to you, Ma!”

“He’s hiding!” Yixing cut in.

Mrs. Byun cackled. _”Darling, I’ll hang up right now. If you refuse to pursue Minseok, you might as well—“_

“We’re not talking about this. It’s out of the question.”

Silence fell between the three for a long, painful moment, before his mother sighed. _”Yixing, take me off speaker and give my stubborn son the phone.”_

Yixing obeyed, holding the phone over his shoulder so Baekhyun could reluctantly grab it.

_”Baekhyun, baby, I just want you to be happy.”_

“But I am happy, Mama.” He looked back at the coffee cart and watched the way Jongdae’s slow-spreading smile lit up the world around him. “So happy.”

He was happy _enough._

 

 

When they made it back to their apartment, Baekhyun sprawled across the living room couch, plopping his head in Yixing's lap. He was wiped, physically and emotionally. But he was still reeling in the satisfaction of officially casting his musical, nonetheless. Now Yixing simply had to put together a team of dancers and they’d be well on their way to starting full-scale practices.

A few minutes later, Yixing was just sinking his fingers in Baekhyun's hair—absorbed in some Chinese variety show while Baekhyun scrolled through Twitter on his phone—when Baekhyun got a new text.

>> **unknown**  
_howdy_

Baekhyun blinked at the screen in confusion. Surely, someone had texted the wrong number. No one Baekhyun had ever spoken two words to would greet him with something as ridiculous as _howdy._ And that was with a friend like Chanyeol who sometimes greeted him by _barking._

 **baekhyun** <<  
_sry idk you but we_  
_can’t be friends if you’re_  
_greeting me like that_

>> **unknown**  
_aw come on ;)_

 **baekhyun** <<  
_lmao who is this_

>> **unknown**  
_your worst nightmare_  
_probably_

Baekhyun froze, thumbs on the letters of his phone’s keyboard. He knew who his current worst nightmare was, but...

 **baekhyun** <<  
_...jongdae?_

>> **unknown**  
_LMAO holy shit i really_  
_am your worst nightmare_  
_huh?_

>> **unknown**  
_don't be scared of a_  
_little sexual tension,_  
_baekhyun_

Baekhyun flailed, effectively startling Yixing from his intense TV-watching, but he ignored Yixing's awkward, hovering hands. _How was he supposed to respond to something like that?_ Baekhyun had no intention of acknowledging anything he may or may not have felt during Jongdae's audition!

 **baekhyun** <<  
_whatever weirdo_

 **baekhyun** <<  
_how did you get my_  
_number?_

>> **demon!!!**  
_it was on the script_  
_the tall goofy one handed_  
_me?_

Baekhyun dropped his phone on his chest. _"CHANYEOL!"_ he screeched, scaring Yixing yet again.

"Why are you like this, pup?" he quietly asked, clicking his tongue and rubbing Baekhyun's stomach, like that would help calm him.

It did, kind of.

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo both stumbled from their shared room with swollen lips and shielding their eyes like the sun streaming in through the windows would kill them.

"Really guys?" Baekhyun drawled. "You've been back for like ten minutes."

Kyungsoo directed his glare at Chanyeol. "I told you he wasn't dying."

"I had to be sure," Chanyeol whined, a pout forming on his lips. Baekhyun could see Kyungsoo's resolve crumbling already. "What's wrong, Baekhyun?" Chanyeol asked, turning to him.

Baekhyun huffed, plastering on his stern face. "You put my _phone number_ on the scripts?"

"No," Chanyeol answered innocently, while Kyungsoo blinked up at him in surprise. Chanyeol's smile beamed a thousand watts. "Just on Jongdae's."

 _"Chanyeol!"_ Baekhyun lurched forward, ready to lunge at Chanyeol in revenge, but Yixing caught him, wrapping himself around Baekhyun and trapping his arms. "Do you _want_ to ruin my life?!"

Chanyeol's smile remained unwavering. "Quite the opposite. I just figured, if you're not gonna make a move on Minseok, then like, Jongdae might be a good distraction."

"You're a genius," Kyungsoo murmured, reaching up to pat Chanyeol's chest, which only made Chanyeol preen.

"Why does that make him a genius?" Baekhyun asked, and he could hear how frantic he sounded.

Everyone gave him the same look. The _are you a fucking idiot_ look. He didn't have to see Yixing to know he was too. Baekhyun could _feel_ it. "You didn't see the way you two looked onstage," Yixing murmured right in Baekhyun's ear. He tried not to shiver. "It was hot."

"No, it wasn't!" It was, it _so_ was, but Baekhyun would never admit that out loud. "Whatever. Now he's _harassing_ me! I hope you're happy!"

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes. "I'm sure he's trolling you, at best."

Baekhyun sputtered, searching for words when his phone buzzed again.

>> **demon!!!**  
_look man, we're gonna_  
_be kissing a lot. we_  
_should at least be friends,_  
_yeah?_

>> **demon!!!**  
_it's not like i'm asking_  
_you to blow me in the_  
_dressing room closet lol_

>> **demon!!!**  
_tho that would be_  
_pretty fuckin hot ngl_  
_lmao_

Baekhyun groaned as loud as he could, going limp in Yixing's arms and head lolling to the side. "He's a _fuckboy,"_ he moaned miserably. "He just said me blowing him in the closet would be hot!"

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo both pursed their lips, eerily in sync as always, but it was Yixing who said, "Well...he's not wrong."

"I need new friends!" Baekhyun cried, breaking out of Yixing's arms only to hang off the side of the couch. He deserved to be dramatic for a moment. Or five.

He almost didn't check his phone when it buzzed yet again in his hand, but curiosity got the best of him. He read it while hanging upside down.

>> **demon!!!**  
_sorry, i swear that last_  
_text was my friend lol_

>> **demon!!!**  
_i had a lot of fun on_  
_stage w you, even if_  
_you did look like you_  
_were about to shit your_  
_pants lol_

>> **demon!!!**  
_you're really cute_

>> **demon!!!**  
_i'll leave you alone now_  
_lol i'm just really excited._  
_i hear all the time about_  
_how amazing your voice_  
_is & i'm really excited to_  
_work with you_

Baekhyun bit his lip, trying not to smile. A little flattery certainly never hurt anyone.

Before Baekhyun could chicken out, he bit the bullet and texted back.

 **baekhyun** <<  
_that sure was a wild_  
_ride lol_

 **baekhyun** <<  
_i think i’m excited to_  
_work with you too,_  
_jongdae_

+++

Rehearsals began a mere week later, and Baekhyun was thrilled.

He had decided to form the group chat with his fellow cast and crew a couple of days after they posted results, to gather everyone’s class and typical work schedules. It was almost too good to be true how well everyone seemed to click, and how no one had any major conflicts once Baekhyun set a tentative schedule. It only heightened his excitement even more; nothing would ruin his musical faster than someone who was difficult to work with, and so far, he didn’t see that being a problem.

Jongdae, Baekhyun begrudgingly noticed, was relatively quiet in the group chat, surprisingly—though he did send the occasional funny cat video—but his private texts with Baekhyun were a different story altogether.

Baekhyun found that Jongdae was a bit overwhelming via text, like he was in person, but a part of Baekhyun knew he was pleased by it, by Jongdae’s ongoing enthusiasm in getting to know Baekhyun, and in the attention Baekhyun was being given.

He learned a lot, like how Jongdae was majoring specifically in musical theatre—unlike the rest of them—and how the only way Jongdae was able to transfer was by loading down his schedule with five to six classes a semester, and taking two winter break classes, just to be considered a legitimate graduate of their university and still graduate on time.

 **baekhyun** <<  
_why would u put so_  
_much work on yourself?_

>> **demon!!!**  
_¯\\_(ツ)_/¯_

>> **demon!!!**  
_my school sucked. my_  
_family sucked. i wanted_  
_a more challenging_  
_musical theatre program lol_

>> **demon!!!**  
_it’s never too late to_  
_go for what you want,_  
_right?_

>> **demon!!!**  
_besides...i love a_  
_challenge ;D nudge_  
_nudge_

 **baekhyun** <<  
_jfc……._

It was admirable, to say the least, and after a week of texting, Baekhyun found himself oddly enamoured with Jongdae. Or maybe just intrigued. He wasn’t sure. He _was,_ however, really fucking wary of being around him in person again. Luckily, he had time to work through that, though, as Jongdae wasn’t needed at the very first practice, since he wasn’t included in the opening number. Baekhyun could deal with a little more texting until then, to figure out a strategy on how to handle this guy in real life.

Only the second Baekhyun walked into the auditorium the first evening of rehearsals, he came face to face with Jongdae himself.

Baekhyun blinked, taking a step back and hugging his binder to his chest. “Oh,” he eloquently said, watching that beaming smile spread across Jongdae’s pretty lips. “Did you...forget you don’t have to be here today?”

“Nope,” Jongdae responded, popping his lips dramatically on the tail end of the word. “I had class with Taeyeon today, and we both thought it’d be a great idea to sit in on the practices we’re not needed at and work on homework. So we’re not out of the loop, y’know?”

Baekhyun cleared his throat, plastering on a stage smile. “That does sound like a great idea. Dedicated.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Jongdae said, poking him in the shoulder.

“Why do I feel like you’re about to dump honey and feathers over me or something?”

Jongdae pressed his hand to his chest in mock-offense. “I would _never._ Especially not when I’m looking to be…mmmm...the teacher’s pet.”

“Heechul doesn’t really—“

Jongdae leaned forward, breathing air onto Baekhyun’s face. Baekhyun felt his entire body stiffen. “You’re the teacher in this case, Baekhyun.”

 _”Uhh…”_ Baekhyun laughed, high-pitched and nervous and trying _not_ to think of the time he’d let Chanyeol show him the world of furry porn and pet play.

Jongdae just straightened up and smiled, like he hadn’t said anything at all. “I’m out to grab coffee for me and Tae. Want some?”

“Uh...yeah…”

“Cool!” Jongdae slipped past him, heading out the door. “You like it sweet, don’t ya?”

“Yeah…”

“Got it!”

Jongdae was already racing down the hall when Baekhyun weakly yelled, “Please don’t poison me…?” but he was met with a loud, infectious cackle anyway.

Baekhyun softly smiled down at his feet before shaking his head and facing the auditorium again. That wasn’t so bad. 

Only Chanyeol and Taeyeon were sitting in the seats, which meant everyone else was backstage or hadn’t arrived yet. But he startled when he realized they were both watching him, smirking at him. He pouted as he shuffled over, plopping into the seat next to Chanyeol.

“He never stops talking about you, you know,” Taeyeon said as she peered at him around Chanyeol. Chanyeol snickered into his notebook.

“I don’t know who or what you’re talking about,” Baekhyun muttered, pulling his script from his binder.

He could _hear_ Taeyeon roll her eyes. “Jongdae, you idiot. I have a couple of classes with him, which...you’ve been absent from our vocal tech class this week, Baek. Interesting…”

Baekhyun was about to whine out an excuse when Chanyeol, who was _laughing,_ waved his hands. “As much as I love messing with Baek,” he said. “We had to meet with Heechul a lot this week to go over musical deets. We both missed a few classes because of Heechul’s fucked up office hours.”

 _”Thank you,_ Chanyeol.” He pouted again at Taeyeon. “See? I have a valid excuse and everything.” She didn’t need to know he had specifically offered himself up during those times to give himself more time to prepare seeing Jongdae again. Today was clearly his karma.

“Okay, okay.” Taeyeon swatted the air between them. “Still doesn’t change the way he talks about you and how excited he is to work with you. I saw the video Kyungsoo took of his audition. There seemed to be a spark,” she sang.

Baekhyun groaned. Everyone had seen that video, but especially, _unfortunately_ Heechul, who demanded a copy of it so they could use it for blocking later. He’d said the same thing. _Ooh, a spark!_ Baekhyun wanted to burn every phone that video existed on. He’d show them some _sparks._

Chanyeol nudged him. “If Kyungsoo was right here, he’d tell you to stop brooding. It doesn’t suit you.”

Baekhyun huffed. “It suits me just fine,” he muttered, ignoring Chanyeol’s concerned frown in favor of standing up and making his way toward the stage. He set his script on the edge before hoisting himself onto it as well, letting his feet swing while he buried himself in his script. As if he didn’t already know it like the back of his hand.

It was a few minutes before anyone joined him, and his whole body tingled with warmth when he realized it was Minseok settling against his side. Baekhyun gently beamed at him before nestling his head on Minseok’s shoulder when Minseok started rubbing his back. “Hi,” Baekhyun murmured, watching as Minseok turned the page on his own script.

“Hi,” Minseok said back, and rested his head against Baekhyun’s. “Everything okay?”

Baekhyun hummed. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You just seem a little down, is all,” Minseok responds. “I thought you’d be bouncing off the walls once you got here.”

Baekhyun chewed on his lip as he shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just tired. Wary, maybe.”

“Wary?”

“I feel like there’s a lot of attention on me and Jongdae, and I guess it’s making me nervous.”

Before Minseok could say anything, the devil himself bounded up in front of them, wide smile and a giant cup of coffee in hand. Baekhyun bolted upright against his will, only relieved when Minseok’s hand didn’t leave his back.

“That was fast,” Baekhyun blurted.

Jongdae merely shrugged. “It’s not far and there wasn’t a line.”

“Let me pay you b—“

”You’re Minseok, right? Nice to formally meet you outside of the madness of auditions!” Jongdae extended a hand for Minseok to shake. Baekhyun already recognized the mischievous glint in Jongdae’s eyes, but he couldn’t stop Minseok from letting him go to shake Jongdae’s hand.

“Hi, Jongdae,” Minseok said, a bit timid.

Baekhyun blinked at their hands. Were they not letting go or was that just him freaking the fuck out for no reason? Jongdae dropped Minseok's hand and turned to Baekhyun. "Can't wait to see what you're really made of today, Baek."

"Baek?" Baekhyun deflected.

"What?" Jongdae grinned. "We're friends, remember?"

Minseok turned an amused grin on Baekhyun. "You didn't tell me you guys were already close—"

"We're _not,"_ Baekhyun whined, pouting when he realized Jongdae was purposely messing with him. "He's just been harassing me via text."

"Harassing, huh?" Jongdae tapped his chin. "That's not what you said last night—"

"Oh my _god."_ Baekhyun fell to his back on the stage, covering his face with his script while Jongdae cackled and announced he was _just playing._

Minseok muttered something and Jongdae laughed more, saying, "It's so easy to ruffle his feathers. Push his buttons."

"You do make it so easy sometimes, Baekhyunnie," Minseok said, a hair patronizing.

Baekhyun pouted again, though no one could see it. "Don't team up on me. I’m fragile.”

Jongdae snorted, and suddenly Baekhyun was being tugged upright again by his hands. His script fell to his lap and his breath hitched when his brain caught up. He realized Jongdae was pressed against his legs, amusement gleaming in his gaze. Baekhyun pulled his hands away, gripping the edge of the stage for purchase instead, and Jongdae’s smile only grew. He crossed his arms over Baekhyun’s knees and rested his head there. “Fragile, huh?” he questioned like Baekhyun was the most intriguing puzzle he’d ever stumbled across. “That’s when you channel that shit into performing, y’know.”

He was so warm against Baekhyun, warm and solid, and Baekhyun slowly swallowed. “Yeah?”

“Mmm. That’s what folks like us do. Take it out on the stage.”

“You think we’re the same?”

Jongdae regarded him for a moment with that damned cheshire grin of his. “I know we are.”

 _”Alright nerds!”_ Heechul suddenly called out from where he was strutting onto the stage, the missing cast members in tow. Jongdae stepped away from Baekhyun. _”Let’s do some vocal warm-ups.”_

By the time Baekhyun glanced at Heechul and back, Jongdae was already halfway to where he was presumably sitting with Taeyeon, and Minseok was eyeing Baekhyun like he wasn’t quite sure who he was. Baekhyun blinked, pouting a little. “What?”

Minseok shook his head. “Nothing. He just really lays it on thick, doesn’t he?”

Baekhyun sputtered, but Heechul was shouting for them to join the circle forming behind them, so Minseok was already getting up before Baekhyun could think of what to say. Chanyeol replaced him, clamoring onto the stage next to him with a bewildered expression. “What the fuck was that?” he asked.

Baekhyun could only shake his head, and accepted Chanyeol’s hand to help him stand up. “I have no idea.”

 

He realized a little too late that not only had Jongdae gotten in his head, he wanted to _impress_ Jongdae as well.

He could feel it in the way he sang just a little louder while they sat in a circle and rehearsed the opening song for an hour, just so he could make sure Jongdae could hear. He could feel it in the way his body loosened as he slid onto the stage from behind the curtain, voice confident in his, _”Come on girls, makin’ me go so crazy…”_ when they decided to do a couple of rounds of improvisation to see what they could come up with for blocking. And he could feel it in the way his eyes kept seeking Jongdae’s in the auditorium seats, practically begging for his attention.

The most intoxicating part about it all, though, was that he _did_ have Jongdae’s attention, who seemed utterly _enraptured_ in Baekhyun’s performance. It fed Baekhyun’s confidence, and the things in his stomach that felt oddly enough like butterflies, until Baekhyun was _soaring._

God, he’d missed performing on stage.

The rehearsal overall went beyond well, and Baekhyun genuinely felt like he was on cloud nine by the time he was gathering his binder from where he’d left it with Chanyeol and Taeyeon. So much so, that he didn’t even flinch when Jongdae crashed into him, gripping his arms with oozing excitement. “You’re just as amazing as I thought you’d be!” he exclaimed, eyes bright.

Baekhyun knew his expression matched, though. “I don’t know where you got that idea but—thanks. Thank you.”

Jongdae scrunched up his nose as he smiled. “I didn’t apply here blindly. I saw videos. You’re—” Jongdae actually managed to look speechless, and it made Baekhyun flush.

“Oh,” he said. “You…”

Jongdae let go of him, but he beamed. “I didn’t wanna psych you out or be weird by saying so before I saw you perform in real life.”

Baekhyun bursted out laughing, clearly surprising Jongdae. “Because you haven’t been weird since the moment we met.”

“Shut up!” Jongdae shoved Baekhyun’s shoulder, but laughed all the same.

Baekhyun softened. “I feel like I should be creeped out but really I’m just...honored, I think. That you would see videos of us and choose to come here because of it.”

“You’re amazing—”

“It’s not just me—”

“But you _are,”_ Jongdae insisted. “I’ve known you for like, two seconds and can already tell you don’t give yourself enough credit. I wanna change that.”

“Do you?”

“I’m _gonna_ change that.”

It was just like that. Just like that, Jongdae carved a tiny place for himself in Baekhyun’s heart.

+++

>> **demon!!?**  
 _why are you eating alone?_

Baekhyun frowned at his phone before glancing at his surroundings, scanning the hoards of people in the main university cafeteria. Finally, his eyes settled on an expectant Jongdae in the _Little Italy_ food line. Baekhyun cocked an eyebrow and internally stomped on his nerves as Jongdae waved.

 **baekhyun** <<  
_you stalking me, kim?_

He could _hear_ Jongdae laugh.

>> **demon!!?**  
_we all have to eat, yeah?_

>> **demon!!?**  
_anyway i’m not usually_  
_in here at this time, but i_  
_skipped outta class early_

>> **demon!!?**  
_wasn’t feeling well :(((_

 **baekhyun** <<  
_oh...i’m sorry :/_

 **baekhyun** <<  
_pasta is the cure?_

>> **demon!!?**  
_LMAO pasta is always  
the cure :D_

Baekhyun hid his smile behind a bite of his pizza, flourishing toward it to show Jongdae he’d also been through the Italian food line. Jongdae beamed and Baekhyun could swear he felt the light strike his heart. They stared at each other for a stretching moment until Jongdae bit his lip and pointed at his phone. Baekhyun felt his cheeks heat up and set his pizza down to wipe his hands off and wait.

>> **demon!!?**  
_can i join you?_

Still staring at the screen, Baekhyun gathered his lips to one side, trying to force away a smile. When he had his stupid face under control, he looked up at Jongdae’s hopeful gaze. He nodded, and Jongdae’s grin grew.

And when Jongdae sat across from him at their small two-person table, tips of toes touching and hands brushing when reaching for salt or napkins, Baekhyun tried, really hard, not to imagine it as a date.

 

 

It took the entire day, another class, an emotional meeting with Taeyeon, driving home, for Baekhyun’s Jongdae-induced smile to fade.

Now Baekhyun was in bed, and he knew better than to do what he was doing, but he couldn’t stop scrolling.

He was bundled up in bed, taking deep breath after deep breath as he looked at pictures of his ex, of Suzy, perusing her Instagram as if it wouldn’t make his heart feel like breaking all over again, as if he had any right to wonder after her, to hope she was alright.

_Baekhyun couldn’t see through his tears, but the darkest part of him knew that was for the best. If he couldn’t see, he couldn’t watch the way her face crumpled the more he broke down, as she slowly realized there was no turning around from where they were now._

_“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, baby,” Baekhyun sobbed, his trembling hands lifting to cover his face as he cried. “I can’t—I love you so much. But I’ve always loved him and I can’t just—”_

_“Th-That’s okay—” Suzy stammered, and she tried to pull his hands from his face but he couldn’t bear it. “Baek, that’s okay—I know you love him and it’s okay. We can still—”_

_But Baekhyun was shaking his head, and he doubled over, weeping into her lap. She deserved so much better than this. Than all of it. “I-It’s not okay. H-How is it fair to you for me to love someone else?”_

_Her fingers tangled in his hair, and her tears dripped onto his neck. He knew the long pause meant she was sobbing, just like him, and it only made him cry harder. He couldn’t even look at her while he broke her heart, while he broke both their hearts, and he knew because of that, he would feel this pain for the rest of his life. “Baekhyun,” Suzy cried. “As long as you still love me, it doesn’t matter—”_

_“I-I can’t stand it. Suzy, my heart literally fucking breaks e-every time I realize you don’t have my full attention. H-He’s always on the back of my mind and I wish I could stop it but I can’t.” Baekhyun abruptly sat up, his entire body shaking even when Suzy knocked their foreheads together, her hands still buried in his hair. Now they cried as one. “You deserve someone better, wh-who can give you their undivided attention—”_

_“Dammit, Baekhyun,” Suzy whimpered. “W-We could’ve worked through this together—” But now it was too late, went unsaid. Now that she knew how strongly he felt about it, now that he knew he would never shake the love he felt for Minseok, no matter how much he tried. No matter how in love he also felt with Suzy._

_One could only truly love one person, after all._

_“I love you,” Suzy whispered before she kissed him, and Baekhyun never wanted to taste a goodbye as bittersweet as this one ever again._

_“I love you.”_

“Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun’s eyelids fluttered around the burning threat of tears, and he belatedly realized that his phone had fallen to his chest way too long ago. “Kyungsoo,” he rasped, trying to regain control of his emotions. “Hey.”

“Can I come in?” Baekhyun only nodded, and Kyungsoo gingerly sat on the edge of the bed. “Did you...talk to Taeyeon today?”

Baekhyun nodded again, shutting his eyes because he wasn’t completely sure he could actually stop himself from crying. Kyungsoo had suggested a talk with Taeyeon, since she would be playing the role Baekhyun had written based on Suzy. Kyungsoo thought it was for the best that she know, because she wouldn’t judge him if he needed to take some scenes slow, or if he needed to take a breather altogether. She’d known Suzy and Baekhyun in their prime, but she hadn’t known the extent of their disastrous end until now. “Yeah, she was sweet about it.”

“Good.” Kyungsoo stared at a spot on Baekhyun’s sheets, apparently struggling with what to say next. Baekhyun knew how he felt. Kyungsoo sighed and rested a comforting hand on Baekhyun’s stomach. “I’m sorry. It probably wasn’t easy. Have you talked to your mom?”

“No. I don’t want to bother her.” Baekhyun sniffled. “I always think—I always think it’ll get easier to talk about with time, to think about, but I-I don’t think it’ll ever get easier, Soo. It’s been two fucking years and sometimes it still feels like—like it happened yesterday.”

Their breakup came just after their one year anniversary; the time since then was longer than the time they were together and yet he still felt it sometimes in every fiber of his being. He remembered the things people said in light of how utterly destroyed he was, especially when they watered down the intensity of the relationship by saying, _”Oh, it was only a year. You’re a kid. Things happen.”_ But they had no idea how hard it was for Baekhyun.

It ended up being Kyungsoo that picked up the pieces. Baekhyun had avoided Minseok like the plague in fear of saying something he would regret, so it was Kyungsoo who finally intervened, dragging him into the sunlight, to class, to the university counselor. He persisted until Baekhyun could stand on his own two feet again, and from that moment on, Baekhyun knew he had another best friend for life in Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo was the one of the only ones who knew how to pull Baekhyun from the brink of breakdown. The other was his mother.

Sighing again, Kyungsoo stood, only to lift Baekhyun’s covers and slide underneath with him. Kyungsoo curled up on his side facing Baekhyun, close enough to feel but not quite cuddling. “It’s already gotten easier, Baek. You know that. And it’ll get easier still.”

Baekhyun sniffled again, his eyes watering a dangerous amount, and he turned over to face his friend, scooting close enough so their noses were almost touching. “Promise?”

A sympathetic smile sat on Kyungsoo’s lips and he nodded, taking one of Baekhyun’s hands in his between them. “And I don’t break my promises.”

Baekhyun could only nod now as the tears finally broke free, dripping down his nose and temple before Kyungsoo pulled him close, letting him cry into his chest.

+++

>> **demon???**  
 _anyway why does that_  
 _yixing guy call you “pup”_

 **baekhyun** <<  
_??? 1st of all, “that_  
_yixing guy” is my friend_  
_and roommate and an_  
_actual angel :/_

 **baekhyun** <<  
_and idk when we met_  
_sophomore year, he said i_  
_reminded him of the corgi he_  
_had when he was a kid_

>> **demon???**  
_kjdfnhks what? i can’t_  
_decide if that’s adorable or_  
_hilarious_

>> **demon???**  
_both definitely both_

>> **demon???**  
_ugh ok it’s so cute i_  
_wish i had a cute nickname_  
_like that for you ;(_

 **baekhyun** <<  
_skjdfnks don’t tell me_  
_you’re jealous of yixing_

>> **demon???**  
_;(((((((((((((((((((_

>> **demon???**  
_pup is cute!!!_

>> **demon???**  
_it’s not like i can call_  
_you “man of my dreams”_  
_out loud like i do in my head_  
_:/// people might think i’m_  
_weird_

 **baekhyun** <<  
_JDFNKJDFNKJD_

 **baekhyun** <<  
_why are you like this_

+++

The next few weeks passed in a whirlwind. Baekhyun stayed busy. Between classes, homework, meetings with Heechul, coffee with Minseok, texting Jongdae, and successful rehearsal after successful rehearsal, his plate was absolutely full. But it was exactly what he needed all the same. Distractions, distractions, distractions.

They’d blown through the first two musical numbers, _Tornado Spiral_ and _Hey Mama,_ already with ease, and all the dialogue in between. Baekhyun learned that he and Jongdae’s chemistry didn’t die at Jongdae’s audition. Even when Jongdae’s character wasn’t considered a love interest yet, they seemed to feed off of each other’s energy on stage. They were always on the same wavelength and it made their scenes, their choreography, go off without a hitch every time. It was just as intoxicating as it had been showing off for Jongdae, and it honestly blew Baekhyun’s mind that they matched so well. Better than he and Kyungsoo did, he’d even say, whose chemistry was built off of familiarity.

They had just finished their last rehearsal of the week, rather late on a Friday evening, but Baekhyun was _buzzing_ from them having just run through everything they’d blocked through _Hey Mama_ and the following dialogue with relative ease; he, Jongdae, and Seulgi were already nailing it without a script in their hands, and everyone else was almost there.

So it was easier than it might’ve been any other day to accept Jongdae’s arm thrown comfortably around his shoulder, and to say yes when he asked if Baekhyun, Minseok, Chanyeol, and Kyungsoo wanted to go out for drinks.

They ended up at a club, at Jongdae’s insistence that the drinks were cheaper and better, and he wasn’t wrong. Baekhyun was pleasantly surprised to find his spiked lemonade actually tasted good, as opposed to the battery acid version the pub Kyungsoo liked to frequent made. Even Minseok’s Jack and Coke tasted better than normal, which, did make Baekhyun wonder if he was just in that good of a mood. Because he hated whiskey.

“Yah, Minseok,” Baekhyun murmured, feeling unreasonably loose and buzzed already from trying everyone’s drinks, and then chugging his own to get the rancid taste of Jongdae’s Long Island Iced Tea out of his mouth. He pressed into Minseok’s side a little greedily, wanting to steal some of his warmth. “We’re at a club,” he said, as if the strobe lights and pulsing bass of some electronica dance song wasn’t enough of a clue. “Order a mixed drink.”

Minseok only looked at him with the cutest amused expression he could muster, flicking Baekhyun on the arm and saying, “Jack and Coke is a mixed drink.”

Baekhyun snorted. “Fine. Get a fun mixed drink. Something...mmm...something _pink.”_

“My drink doesn't have to match the aesthetic.” Minseok chuckled, and reached up to tuck a chunk of Baekhyun’s overgrown hair behind his ear. Baekhyun gulped, cheeks burning with the contact. Why did Minseok have to be so attentive?

Baekhyun turned suddenly, tuning into the other three’s conversation about who would buy a round of shots for the group. “I will!” Baekhyun suddenly exclaimed, because Minseok’s hand was sliding onto his knee under their table and Baekhyun didn’t want to sit there and do something stupid like grab his best friend’s hand and put it on his dick or something.

He shooed Jongdae from their booth so he could get out, and visibly blanched when he got to the bar only to realize Jongdae had followed him, resting a hand on Baekhyun’s lower back as he joined him at the bar. “Let’s split this round,” Jongdae said with an easy smile that Baekhyun couldn’t really say no to.

“You trying to steal my thunder?” Baekhyun pouted at him. The bartender came to them next, and Baekhyun quickly ordered five shots of 1800 Tequila and another spiked lemonade.

He was a _second_ away from turning back to Jongdae with a cheeky comment about Jongdae buying his drink, when Jongdae pressed closer. A chill rolled through Baekhyun’s body simultaneously with Jongdae’s nose dragging along his cheek before Jongdae muttered, “No one could ever steal _your_ thunder,” right into his ear.

Baekhyun _meeped,_ digging money out of his pocket and tossing it on the counter before bolting for the bathroom.

He knew, realistically, that he couldn’t hide out in there for long, but he at least took the time to splash some cold water on his face and calm the fuck down. He was so _jumpy_ tonight, so reactive to touch and though he knew it was perhaps because he craved it so badly and couldn’t really have it, he also knew it meant drinking any further might be a bad idea all around if he wanted to reserve the small amount of dignity he had left.

And yet, when he returned to the table like he hadn’t _gay panicked_ in the face of Jongdae’s forwardness, he quickly downed the shot he’d insisted on buying in time with his friends, chugged his lemonade, and declared he was going to dance. He slipped purposely into the thickest throngs of people, trying to get lost in the sea of sweat and hormones, hoping it made him harder to follow.

He was only one song in, however, eyes closed and hips swaying to the beat when a familiar pair of hands landed on his hips from behind. Baekhyun spun around, surprised at the sight of Minseok, pink-cheeked, hazy-eyed Minseok, who loved to dance with Baekhyun when they were drunk.

Baekhyun swallowed, tossing his arms around Minseok’s neck. He could do this. They’d done it a thousand times before.

Minseok’s lips pulled into a lazy smile before he leaned in to say in Baekhyun’s ear, “We haven’t done this in a while.”

Scrunching up his nose, Baekhyun pressed it against Minseok’s cheek affectionately and giggled. “I know.” He sighed and let his head roll back again, enjoying the way Minseok’s hands tightened their grip on his hips as they fell into a natural rhythm together. It was easier to feel Minseok like this, rather than see him, despite how mad Minseok’s touch made him sometimes. But they _had_ done this a thousand times before; it was always easier to go with the flow of things when Baekhyun, lightweight that he was, was drunk out of his mind.

They kept a safe distance between them, always touching but never pressed completely together. But every now and then, Baekhyun would feel Minseok’s breath on his cheek or neck, and it took everything he had not to shudder and pull Minseok in for the kill (kiss.)

They danced for three songs before Baekhyun fell into a hug with Minseok, laughing for no real reason at all, and decided he was thirsty. He could only handle so long of being so close, yet so far from Minseok, even like this. Especially like this.

He absolutely did not blush when Minseok grabbed his hand and held it the whole way to the bar.

They each chugged a plastic cup of water from the free dispenser on the bar—fingers still helplessly entwined between them—and were just debating what they should drink next when Jongdae slithered between them. Their hands unceremoniously fell apart, and Jongdae grinned as he held onto both of them. “I was just coming to buy another round. Want in?”

Baekhyun nodded without thinking, eyes fixated on the curl of Jongdae’s lips right in front of him, and then he was gone, leaving an oddly empty space between him and Minseok.

Baekhyun swallowed, blinking rapidly before smiling at Minseok, whose easy grin from before was notably a little less bright. Wordlessly, he filled another cup with water and handed it to Baekhyun. He could only obey, really, but he quickly set the empty cup aside and sidled back up to his friend, fitting himself under Minseok’s arm—despite being the taller one—and nestling his cheek against Minseok’s shoulder to position his lips at his ear. 

“I’ve missed this,” Baekhyun said, bravely nosing at the skin below Minseok’s ear. Liquid courage was coursing through his bloodstream, after all.

It almost felt like Minseok shuddered against him, but he knew the bass rattling his chest was to blame, and swallowed through the utter _want_ fluttering about in his belly. “What?” Minseok asked and pressed closer so Baekhyun could hear. “Clubbing?”

Baekhyun shook his head, making Baekhyun’s lips accidentally brush against Minseok’s neck, and this time, Minseok’s hand on his waist tightened its hold. “No,” Baekhyun said for good measure. “Being with you. Feeling—“

“Hey, help me carry these, would you?!” Jongdae shouted from a few feet away, and Baekhyun blinked again, pulling back from Minseok as his body flooded with surprise. _Feeling you against me,_ was definitely what he was about to say, and shit, that would’ve been a mistake, wouldn’t it?

He abruptly turned from Minseok, but Minseok was already moving around him, heading to Jongdae and automatically picking up three of the shot glasses between his fingers. He walked back toward their booth without a word. Baekhyun tried not to feel _too_ upset by the sudden absence where Minseok had been. He wasn’t very successful.

Slowly, Baekhyun moved to Jongdae, trying to process what just happened. “You can carry these,” he stubbornly said, possibly pouting a little. He thought he might want to run and splash water on his face again, but Jongdae’s bright, bright smile broke through the clouds in his vision.

“I’ve got my hands full, Baek,” he said, grabbing three glasses in front of him with ease. They looked...suspiciously like Long Island Iced Tea, Jack and Coke, and spiked lemonade. Jongdae’s grin widened when he saw Baekhyun notice. “I wanted to buy you a drink forreal,” he said.

“That looks like Minseok’s regular, too…”

Jongdae merely beamed. “You guys are a package deal, right?”

“Uhhh…”

Jongdae laughed. “Come on, lover boy.”

Confused as fuck to everything that happened in the last three minutes, Baekhyun stumbled after Jongdae with the last two shot glasses. He slid in next to Jongdae, unsure how he felt that Jongdae had taken his place next to Minseok.

He watched Minseok’s surprised expression morph into a shy smile when Jongdae handed him his Jack and Coke. Baekhyun couldn’t hear what they said to each other and that _bothered_ him. 

He felt a kick under the table and looked up to meet Kyungsoo’s gaze across the table, tucked under Chanyeol’s arm, both lazily drunk. _”You okay?”_ Kyungsoo mouthed, and Baekhyun just shrugged.

They all paused to drink their shots, and then Chanyeol and Kyungsoo fell back into cuddling, and Jongdae and Minseok fell back into...whatever they were talking about.

Baekhyun suddenly felt like a third wheel.

The room was starting to spin a bit and he was already a _lot_ drunker than he planned on being, so he sipped slowly on his lemonade, instead of chugging it like before. He was getting antsy, though, just sitting there. He was about five seconds from throwing himself back out onto the dance floor just for something to do, when Chanyeol asked Minseok something, and Jongdae immediately turned to Baekhyun, leaning into his space. It was warm, and Baekhyun kind of hated himself for instantaneously feeling better.

“Finish up your drink,” Jongdae muttered into his ear. His own Long Island Iced Tea was halfway gone.

Baekhyun coughed a little, because Jongdae’s hand was on his thigh. “You tryin’ to get me drunk?”

“You’re already drunk.” Jongdae laughed, took a sip of his drink, and shook his head. “No, I just wanna take you on the dance floor as soon as you’re done.”

Baekhyun looked at him in surprise and _jesus fuck,_ their faces were close. Baekhyun could see moles dotting Jongdae’s hairline that he’d never noticed before. They were cute. “You wanna dance with me?”

Jongdae nodded, eyelids drooping and smile curling. “You looked like you were having a lot of fun with Minseok. ‘S my turn.”

“Okay,” Baekhyun said before he could think better of it, mostly because thinking was hard right now, but also because he was well aware Jongdae was hot as fuck, and he couldn’t bring himself to pass up an opportunity like this.

“Okay?” Jongdae’s perpetual grin widened.

Baekhyun gulped down the last few sips of his drink, wrapping his fingers around Jongdae’s wrist. “Yeah, okay.”

Jongdae struggled to finish his drink as he was being pulled away from the table, then he slammed his glass down and ran ahead of Baekhyun, sliding his hand into Baekhyun’s to pull him along. They laughed the whole way to the dancefloor, the whole time they weaved through bodies drunker than them until they found a good spot. Baekhyun fell into Jongdae’s arms when they finally stopped, holding himself up with his arms thrown over Jongdae’s shoulders, laughing into Jongdae’s neck. He shivered when Jongdae’s hot breath hit his ear.

“Why are we laughing?” Jongdae asked, hands burning where they roamed Baekhyun’s back in the most pleasant way.

Baekhyun shook his head. “I dunno. ‘Cause we’re drunk.” Drunk enough to think that Jongdae smelled good enough to kiss, apparently. Baekhyun swallowed, suddenly so tempted to plant his lips on the expanse of neck laid out before him. 

He was just about to give in to the temptation when Jongdae said, “You’re so...pliant when you’re drunk. You don’t jump five feet in the air every time we touch.”

“You have no idea,” Baekhyun blurts before rapidly shaking his head and pulling back to look at Jongdae’s blurry face. “No funny business, dude!”

“I would never!”

Though the words spoken were usually said with some sort of humor or sarcasm in Baekhyun’s head, he noted the sincerity behind Jongdae’s slurring voice, and the slight frown set in his mouth. Baekhyun nodded, satisfied, and fell back into place hovering near Jongdae’s neck.

“Seriously, I might bark a lot, but I only bite with explicit consent.”

Baekhyun, horrifyingly, shuddered. Mostly at the idea of being bitten by Jongdae. While they were horizontal. God, Baekhyun was lonely. “I didn’t know y’were a furry,” he slurred instead.

Jongdae groaned. “I’m not gonna dignify that with a response.” Instead, his hands slowly slid into place on Baekhyun’s hips and pushed, pulled, urging Baekhyun to turn around.

Pliant as Jongdae noted he was, Baekhyun let it happen, though not without a pout over his shoulder.

Jongdae closed the space between them, pressing against Baekhyun’s back, one arm sliding around Baekhyun’s waist while his other hand stayed at his hip. He leaned in to whisper in Baekhyun’s ear, “If you wanted to give me a hickey, all you had to do was ask.”

Baekhyun gasped and tried to turn around and protest, but Jongdae’s grip was too firm. “I didn’t—“

“Mmm...you’re a tease, Baekhyun. You know that?”

Their hips slowly started to sway to the beat. “I’m not…”

“You are,” Jongdae murmured, still talking right in Baekhyun’s ear. “And that’s okay. You—You have walls up for a reason. Maybe one day you’ll tell me why. Maybe one day I’ll pickaxe my way through. For now I’m happy to dance with you.” He dragged his lips along the shell of Baekhyun’s ear, and Baekhyun’s eyes fluttered shut. “And sing with you.”

Baekhyun let his head fall back onto Jongdae’s shoulder. He was settling into a true drunken haze, and it was taking longer to parse through Jongdae’s words than it normally might have. All he really knew was that Jongdae’s hands felt good, Jongdae’s words felt good, and there was a warmth bubbling in his belly all too similar to the warmth that belonged to Minseok, yet startlingly different all the same.

The tiny voice of his self-deprecation whispered in his ear, _reciprocation._

“Why...do you care so much?” he finally asked. He tossed one arm backwards over Jongdae’s shoulder, and let his other one fall into place with Jongdae’s around his waist. 

They’d known each other for how long now? A month? Yet Jongdae was one of those people that Baekhyun felt like he’d known for ages. The Lord knew they texted enough to feel unendingly familiar with each other. But even still, it didn’t seem realistic that someone as blindingly bright as Jongdae would have _so much_ interest in someone like Baekhyun.

And Baekhyun might have been feeling some sort of… _feelings,_ but it didn’t change the fact he was in love with Minseok. Not Jongdae.

Jongdae interrupted this trainwreck of a thought process by humming directly into Baekhyun’s ear, making Baekhyun shiver. “I guess I’ve just never matched so well on stage with someone before,” Jongdae said. 

They were both starting to sweat from the exertion of dancing and being surrounded by a hundred other bodies, and Baekhyun thought the fact he could tell Jongdae was sweating without seeing him was a fact to be sorted out when he was sober. 

Jongdae continued, “I admire your talent. Not just singing but like, you wrote an entire musical and it’s amazing.” He nosed at Baekhyun’s neck. Baekhyun saw stars. “Talented? Check.” Baekhyun nearly fainted when Jongdae punctuated with a warm, damp kiss to the crook of his neck. “Smart? Check.” His nose led the way up the column of Baekhyun’s neck before his lips pressed another kiss halfway up. Then his mouth was at Baekhyun’s ear. “Sexy? Check.” This kiss was a little wetter, just below Baekhyun’s ear, the tip of Jongdae’s tongue flicking between his lips.

Baekhyun had to force down the moan that bubbled up his throat.

But then Jongdae’s mouth was gone, his kisses were gone, and Baekhyun was worried he was suffering from whiplash. “I guess I don’t just admire your talent,” Jongdae suddenly added. “I admire you, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun’s heart burst from the cocoon of his chest, violently unfurling its wings into something vibrant and _new._ And in the heat of the moment, Baekhyun turned his head to press his own sloppy kiss against Jongdae’s neck. “I admire you, too, Jongdae.”

If he didn’t know any better, he’d think Jongdae’s neck was flushing with embarrassment or _something,_ but Jongdae’s sudden laugh distracted him. “Holy fuck, we’re really drunk, huh?”

Baekhyun giggled. “Yeah.”

And they continued dancing.

It was sometime later, when Baekhyun was _just_ starting to _maybe_ regret his life choices because Jongdae was _grinding against his ass,_ that Minseok appeared in front of him.

A glass of ice water dumped on his head in the desert.

The ice froze the stupid grin Baekhyun knew was on his face, but he was also a bit too loopy to jump out of Jongdae’s warm, sweaty embrace like he normally might have, as if he’d been caught cheating. He parted his lips to speak, maybe to slur out an excuse, but Minseok drunkenly swayed on his feet and beat him to it. “Yeol and Kyungsoo disappeared,” he said, just loud enough to hear over the noise. His pretty eyes were wider than normal. “I-I’m gonna go.”

“What?” Baekhyun pouted, full-force. “But—” He moved closer, and Jongdae simply moved with him.

“I just—” Minseok looked as if he had no idea what to say, eyes trailing between Baekhyun and Jongdae’s faces.

But Jongdae’s loud voice rang out, at the same time his arm left Baekhyun’s waist to shoot out in front of them and grab Minseok by the shirt. “Not so fast, hottie!”

Baekhyun and Minseok spluttered at the same time, but when Baekhyun tried to turn wide eyes around on Jongdae, Minseok was pulled against his front. Minseok’s hands fell to Baekhyun’s hips so neither of them fell, and if Baekhyun thought he could faint before, he was definitely five seconds from blacking out _now._ They stared into each other’s eyes, shocked and overwhelmed, perhaps, as Jongdae purred, “Dance with us, Minseok.”

Gone was the friendly distance they always kept between them when they danced, replaced by the heat of their chests pressed together, their _crotches._ It only got worse when Jongdae stole one of Minseok’s hands from Baekhyun’s hip, tugging it around Baekhyun, presumably to rest it on _Jongdae’s_ hip instead, trapping Baekhyun in an envelope of mind-boggling heat.

He somehow felt drunker sandwiched between the love of his life and his maybe-crush.

“We’re not really used to having a third dance partner,” Minseok was saying, but not to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun’s eyes drooped when Jongdae’s nose nudged at his hair. “There’s so much fun to be had with three people, you know,” Jongdae said, and Baekhyun wasn’t sure why the words made him shiver, but they certainly did.

They were slowly falling into a rhythm that worked for the song playing, but it was much harder with three of them, especially when all three of them were drunk.

“Don’t hold back,” Baekhyun thought he heard Jongdae mutter, but he wasn’t sure who he was talking to.

Right then, however, Minseok seemed to make a decision. His gaze bored holes into Baekhyun’s as his free hand slid around the back of Baekhyun’s neck, fingers sliding into Baekhyun’s hair and gripping it firmly. Baekhyun couldn’t stop the small noise he let out, or the way his whole body _quaked_ in response. He could feel Minseok’s shaky breath on his neck when Minseok buried his face there, and it only heightened everything Baekhyun was feeling. Jongdae did the same on the other side, but closer to his shoulder, and Baekhyun thought, if he died of a heart attack right now, it would be worth it.

Nothing more was said, and they _danced._

Baekhyun was lost, on edge and loose all at once, floating and sinking in the bliss of utter drunkenness and feeling a little less lonely, even if it was only temporary.

There was a simple, hesitant, lingering peck on his neck at first, but Baekhyun’s wanton noise only seemed to egg Minseok on. Minseok pressed closer, Baekhyun’s thigh sliding into place between his, and Minseok’s grip in Baekhyun’s sweaty hair tightened as he parted his lips for a bolder, open-mouthed kiss against Baekhyun’s damp skin.

Baekhyun couldn’t stop the tremors that rolled through his body, the way he melted between his friends like the fastest burning candle in the world. He gripped Minseok’s shoulder and Jongdae’s waist in a death-grip, eyelids fluttering shut as his head fell back to Jongdae’s shoulder, taking Minseok’s hand with him, trapping it there. There was no rhythm to the way they moved anymore, only the gentle grind of crotches against Baekhyun’s butt and thigh. 

He arched into Minseok when Minseok sucked on a particularly sensitive patch of skin, and Jongdae soothed a hand up his chest, pulling him back down literally and figuratively. “That’s it,” Jongdae sweetly murmured, before taking a taste for himself, another taste, greedily lapping at Baekhyun’s skin opposite from Minseok, while Minseok continued to suck on the same spot that caused such a visceral reaction in Baekhyun to begin with.

Baekhyun’s moaning was officially out of hand, but how was he supposed to calm down when this was literally a fucking wet dream come to life? How was he supposed to calm down when Jongdae’s fingers were fiddling with his nipples through his shirt and fucking _Minseok_ was kissing his neck like his goddamn life depended on it? _Minseok._

Best friend, love of his life Minseok, who was now riding Baekhyun’s thigh so insistently, Baekhyun was drowning in the intensity of it, growing uncomfortably hard in his pants. He could feel Jongdae getting hard, too, and everything was becoming so overwhelming, Baekhyun wanted to _scream._

Minseok relocated, nipping at the skin of Baekhyun’s collarbone, nails digging into Baekhyun’s scalp, and Baekhyun downright _whimpered. “Jongdae,”_ he softly cried out, right into Jongdae’s ear, and Jongdae’s index finger pressed a little more insistently into Baekhyun’s left nipple, even as he picked his head up from where he was still trailing kisses along Baekhyun’s skin. 

“I’ve got you,” Jongdae muttered.

 _”Minseok,”_ Baekhyun whimpered, digging his own nails into Minseok’s shoulder. _Fuck,_ he was feeling so much. He didn’t even know—didn’t even think… He moaned for the umpteenth time, convinced when a new chill shuddered through his body that it would certainly shake him apart, into the million pieces Jongdae and Minseok were breaking him into.

“I’ve got you,” Jongdae repeated, rubbing his hand up and down Baekhyun’s stomach now, which was only the slightest relief.

“I-It’s not real, right?” Baekhyun gasped. He was panting now, his breath stolen over and over again despite his mouth being totally free. “It’s a dream.”

“What—” Jongdae pressed a frown into Baekhyun’s ear. “Baek—”

“It can’t be—” _Fuck, Minseok was hard._ “He would never—not me—”

“Are you _blind—”_

 _”Fuck,_ I’m thirsty as fuck,” Baekhyun cried out suddenly. “I need—water.” Anything to get him out of here before he did something stupid like _kiss his best friend on the mouth._

It was Jongdae, however, that put in the effort to stop _whatever_ the fuck was happening, physically pulling Baekhyun away from Minseok. “To be honest, I’m beat,” Jongdae announced, though he sounded just as breathless as Baekhyun and Minseok both clearly were. “We should probably call it a night, yeah?”

“Y-Yeah…” Baekhyun hesitantly agreed. _What just happened?_

Minseok wasn’t saying anything.

Jongdae laughed, stepping between them and wrapping his arms around their shoulders. “We should _def_ do this again sometime. Maybe when we’re all a little more sober.”

He said it with so much purpose, Baekhyun was trying to decipher if there was an innuendo in there somewhere he was missing, but he was too drunk to understand Jongdae’s tone, in the end. He could only nod and pull away from Jongdae, push his way through the crowd. He really was thirsty as hell, in more ways than one, but he realized more than anything he needed fresh _air._

The second he broke through the club doors, the second he was free, he flagged down a cab and went home.

He passed out the moment his head hit the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are always, always appreciated! :D you can find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/baekville).


	2. Off the Wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun and Jongdae grow closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2 = approx. 22k words

When Baekhyun peeled his eyes open against the afternoon sun the next day, he remembered everything. He didn’t earn the luxury, he supposed, of being so drunk he blacked out, no. He remembered every word, every grind, every _kiss._

His hand flew up to his neck when it tingled with the memory of Minseok’s lips, his tongue, his teeth. Things he never thought he would know the feeling of, drunk or not.

He briefly wondered if this was the unspoken reason they always kept such a safe distance between them when they danced. If they were drunk and horny enough, was something like this bound to happen because they were familiar with each other? Or was this merely a fluke brought on by Jongdae’s perpetual and insistent horniness?

The groan of frustration he let out was a croak at best, and he realized he never did get that water last night. He unceremoniously kicked his sheets from around his legs until he was untangled, and stumbled from bed, heading straight for his door, and then the kitchen.

“Jesus,” Kyungsoo exclaimed as soon as Baekhyun walked in. “I think the phrase, _look what the cat dragged in_ applies here.”

“Fuck off.”

Kyungsoo only rolled his eyes and passed an already-filled glass of water to him. “I heard you coming,” he muttered, then also handed over a bottle of aspirin. “I got a couple of texts last night, asking to look after you.”

Baekhyun spilled a little water down his shirt when he froze mid-sip. He coughed, setting the glass down and unscrewing the cap on the aspirin. “Oh?” was all he could think to say.

“From Minseok, of course,” Kyungsoo said easily. He opened the fridge and pulled out a couple of sodas, then opened the freezer and pulled out a box of mini pizzas. Baekhyun guessed they were having lunch together, then. Kyungsoo idly picked at the box before slowly opening it. “And Jongdae,” he added.

Baekhyun’s mouth went dry. They’d both texted Kyungsoo? “Th-That’s nice of them—“

“Jongdae’s was interesting. Said you not only were really drunk, but also probably freaking out. He didn’t say why though.”

“Weird,” Baekhyun sort of wheezed. “We danced and I went home.”

Kyungsoo gave him his most incredulous look. “By the time I saw the texts, you were already passed out in bed, so.”

“Had too much fun knockin’ boots with Chanyeollie, huh?” Baekhyun grinned. He could, and would, deflect all day if he had to. He threw back three aspirin and followed it with a few large gulps of water.

Yixing walked in then, right in the middle of Kyungsoo’s disgruntled protests, and slid an arm around Baekhyun’s waist in greeting. Yixing was always clingier upon first waking up. “Hey Xing,” Baekhyun said, absentmindedly leaning into him until Yixing decided he was good, then moved over to do the same to Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun was just about to ask about the weather or something, _anything_ to stop further discussion of last night, when Yixing’s sleepy, greeting smile widened into something much more mischievous. “Ooh, Baekhyunnie had some fun last night!”

Baekhyun gaped. “H—What—“

“It’s about time you let loose, man. That mark is very pretty. I approve.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened just before Baekhyun gasped and slapped a hand against his neck in shock. _No,_ he thought. _Yixing’s just fucking with me._

He bolted for the bathroom to check anyway.

Sure enough, just above the crook of his neck on the right side was an oversized, bright pink and purpling bruise, right where Minseok’s mouth had been. His breaths came shorter as he pulled the neck of his t-shirt down, just enough to see where Minseok had nipped and nipped at his collarbone, and sealed with a heady lick. The mark there was much smaller, as Minseok had really only used his teeth, but it was _there_ nonetheless. A physical reminder of everything that happened last night. _Whatever_ exactly that was.

“Baek?” Kyungsoo softly called from the doorway. Baekhyun hadn’t even closed the door in his franticness. “You okay?”

Baekhyun placed a hand over the hickey on his neck as if Kyungsoo hadn’t caught on in the kitchen, before turning to Kyungsoo with a smile. “Yeah. Fine. I’m gonna shower real quick. I reek.” He forced a laugh. “Is Yixing sticking around for lunch?”

Kyungsoo shook his head. “He’s already getting ready for work.” Chanyeol, Baekhyun assumed, was already at work, since he wasn’t around to make puppy eyes at Kyungsoo. “I’ll make those pizzas for us.”

Baekhyun nodded, his smile softening into something a little more genuine. Half because Kyungsoo really was such a good friend, and half because the relief of Yixing not being around to poke fun at Baekhyun was palpable.

Without another word, Baekhyun closed and locked the door, and started up the shower so it could warm up while he stripped out of his clothes and brushed his hair free of tangles.

When he stepped under the spray, he didn’t know whether to panic or reminisce. Both? Both was good, right?

The consequences of letting your best friend give you two hickies were dire, Baekhyun knew. But more anxiety-inducing, was not knowing what or how much both Minseok and Jongdae might have remembered, if anything. Did any of them drink enough to black out? He didn’t _think_ so, but he also wasn’t with either of them the entire time last night either. Maybe they were all much, _much_ drunker than he thought.

That would explain the sexual tension, certainly.

There _was_ no other logical explanation. Jongdae’s aforementioned, perpetual horniness simply was contagious; their onstage chemistry simply translated to the dance floor and Minseok was wasted and encouraged by Jongdae’s actions and words.

Baekhyun let the shower spray wash away the dirt and salt from his skin, and groaned in partial-frustration when he absentmindedly fingered the bruise on his neck, pressing in to feel the tenderness of it.

The memories were out of his control then, flashes of gasps, heat, tongues on his skin. The intoxication of having two peoples’ mouths on him at once was too much, even now. Tongues and teeth working at his skin as if there weren’t one hundred, _hundreds_ , of people surrounding them, as if this was something friends did all the time.

Was it something friends did all the time?

He gasped and shuddered as he wrapped a hand around his hardening dick, blindly bracing his other hand against the shower wall. In his mind, Minseok was riding his thigh, the force, the intensity of it sometimes pushing Minseok’s thigh right into Baekhyun’s crotch, causing him to groan and groan and _groan._ So he did just that now; he groaned into his pursed lips, trying to stay as quiet as possible as he whimpered and thrusted into his slick hand. The sheer heat of the water pouring over him was enough to keep the memory going, close enough to the suffocating heat of two bodies, all three drenched in sweat.

He hated, _hated_ jerking off while fantasizing about Minseok. He knew there was something natural to it, considering his entire heart belonged to his best friend, but it always made him feel like he was overstepping Minseok’s boundaries, even if Minseok would never, ever know the things Baekhyun did with him in mind.

It was unavoidable now though, now that he knew exactly how Minseok’s neck kisses felt, how his fingers felt gripping Baekhyun’s hair with an authority he didn’t realize Minseok had in him. He wanted Minseok to do that again, wanted Minseok to shove him into the nearest bed and _ravish_ him, _own_ him. 

Baekhyun whimpered, tears building in the corners of his eyes with the intensity of his pleasure. He pressed himself closer to the wall, tucking his mouth into the crook of his elbow to muffle his indomitable moans. The cold wall was like ice on his skin, but still not enough to stop him.

Not when now, he also had the memory of Jongdae pressing up behind him at the same time, lips just as greedy and hips just as responsive. Jongdae playing with his nipples, Jongdae’s cock growing hard against his ass, Jongdae’s startlingly soft voice promising him he had him, cooing at Minseok’s handiwork.

His hand sped up and pre-come dribbled onto his fingers. He was close, he was so close.

It was the sudden flash of Minseok whimpering Baekhyun’s name just before Jongdae pulled them all apart that did it.

Baekhyun moaned more than loud enough for Kyungsoo to hear as he came all over his hand and the wall, tremors of pleasure crashing over him in waves that seemed never-ending. He bit his arm to try and muffle himself, but he knew it didn’t really work.

His vision was spotted when he floated back to the surface from his high, and his chest heaved as his lungs searched for the oxygen they so desperately needed. He was pretty sure he held his breath for way too long.

Baekhyun slumped, sitting on the edge of the tub in a new round of shock. He wasn’t completely convinced Minseok saying his name like that had actually happened, but the way his brain replayed it for him was vivid enough to make him think it _had,_ and he had just been diving too deep into a freak-out for his drunk brain to process it last night. He crumpled into the bathtub, sliding to the floor and curling up under the shower spray. 

Now that the orgasm was out of his system, he could _panic._

+++

>> **jongdae**  
 _hey don’t freak out_

>> **jongdae**  
_we got a little carried_  
_away is all_

>> **jongdae**  
_it happens!!!_

 

>> **jongdae**  
_we’re human, baek_

 

>> **jongdae**  
_we deserve to let_  
_loose a little_

+++

Baekhyun waved when Minseok walked into the campus coffee shop the next Monday morning for their usual meetup. Baekhyun smiled and motioned at the extra cup across from him, having already ordered Minseok’s regular.

Minseok was late.

He was never late. In fact, he was usually _early._ The exception to the rule was morning coffee with Baekhyun, because Baekhyun always running late meant that Minseok arriving on time _was_ early. But Baekhyun was the early one, today.

Minseok just didn’t need to know how much so, because Baekhyun may or may not have already been on his third cup of the morning, having not slept a wink the night before in anticipation of this very moment.

“Hey, Baekhyunnie,” Minseok murmured with a tiny smile as he sat down across from him. He wrapped his hands around his coffee cup and took a tentative sip, eyes trained on only the cup even once he set it back down.

He hadn’t looked at Baekhyun once.

The anxiety that had kept Baekhyun awake all night clenched at his heart. Above all else, despite everything Baekhyun desired, he never wanted to affect his friendship with Minseok like this. He never wanted things to feel so awkward or bad that Minseok couldn’t even look at him.

Even the idea of it was his worst nightmare.

“Is the coffee okay?” Baekhyun asked, for lack of anything else decent to say.

Minseok gave him that same tiny smile from before, but this time, he actually glanced up at Baekhyun. Just the acknowledgment made him feel ten times better. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

Baekhyun smiled and idly dragged the pastry bags with their muffins between them. “Shall we?”

Minseok nodded, and Baekhyun _swore_ for one, fleeting second, Minseok’s gaze fell to Baekhyun’s neck. Right where the concealer from his stage makeup case was blended perfectly to cover the fading hickey on his neck.

Cheeks flushing hot, Baekhyun sank deeper into his hoodie when Minseok averted his eyes to his banana nut muffin. That was enough proof that Minseok remembered, right? Or was it just a coincidence? Did Baekhyun do a worse job at blending than he thought?

They picked at their food in silence for a minute, before Minseok quietly started asking Baekhyun about the homework due next week, and then the rehearsal they had that evening, and how Baekhyun’s other classes were going. And while talking mostly like normal was nice, Baekhyun’s anxiety was starting to eat away at him much more insistently than they were eating away at their muffins.

Eventually, Baekhyun blurted, “Did you have as gnarly of a hangover as I did the other day? Ha ha…”

Minseok squinted at him. “Gnarly? Geez, you sound like Jongdae.”

 _Was Minseok deflecting?_ Baekhyun wondered, then paused. Wait. “Do I?” He awkwardly laughed. Since when did Minseok know Jongdae well enough to know Baekhyun had picked up some questionable vocabulary from him?

Minseok only shrugged. “Anyway, yeah. I was more hungover than I’ve been in a while. Maybe ever actually.”

“Is that so…” Baekhyun prolonged.

"Yes...?" Minseok squinted again, as if he was trying to figure out what game Baekhyun was playing at. Baekhyun didn't really know either.

Then, Baekhyun was awkwardly laughing again, and honestly, could he _stop?_ "Wowww...yeah...me too...it's crazy. Like...I didn't think we drank that much but I, uh, don't seem to remember much about that night..."

Minseok sat up a little straighter. Sipped his coffee. His face was blank, unrevealing. "Hm. Yeah, I blacked out, so I’m not surprised."

Though that was exactly what Baekhyun _thought_ he wanted to hear, his heart felt completely, utterly stomped on. "Yeah?" he asked, picking at the sleeve around his cup. He hoped the heartbreak didn't show in his eyes as he forced a half-smile. "We must have had some fun, then. A wild night."

"Yeah," Minseok laughed. "I guess we all needed to let loose a little."

The bruise on Baekhyun's neck tingled. Maybe so. Maybe that's all it was. A little unwinding after a busy month. It made more sense than the alternative, in the end. It wasn’t like whatever had happened between them Friday night had them magically confessing now.

They finished the last few bites of their muffins in silence, and Baekhyun downed his coffee. "I'm gonna order another," Baekhyun muttered as he stood up. "To take to class with me."

Minseok's eyebrows rose. "You didn't get much sleep last night?"

"None actually." Baekhyun smiled and walked to the counter, where the barista, Jaemin, was already ringing him up for his fourth cup. "I told you it'd be a four cups of coffee kind of morning," Baekhyun murmured to him.

Jaemin laughed. “I shouldn’t be surprised, I guess. You look like shit.”

Baekhyun just grunted. He didn't go back to the table to wait, for the sake of having a minute to gather the pieces of his heart from the ground. He didn't glance back at Minseok either, not wanting to know if he was watching him, or if he was indifferent, oblivious to Baekhyun's heartache as always.

He'd completely zoned out by the time Jaemin was putting the lid on his coffee, and he jumped when Minseok's arm slid around his own. Jaemin offered a sympathetic smile as he handed the coffee over, and Baekhyun only sighed, accepting it with a nod and quiet, _thanks._

"Come on, Baekhyunnie," Minseok murmured, and his tone was so _sweet,_ Baekhyun wanted to cry. "Let's get to class."

Baekhyun hummed into his coffee as they walked out of the shop arm in arm, broken heart aflutter as Minseok nestled his cheek against Baekhyun's shoulder and the late September breeze hit his skin. He didn't want to be weird with Minseok, he didn't want things to be awkward. His heart didn't matter in the scheme of things. He only needed Minseok in his life, no matter what.

He hummed again, idly resting his cheek on Minseok's head despite how difficult it was to walk like that. "Should I tell you about what Kyungsoo calls Chanyeol in bed?"

Minseok's laugh was loud, and his grip on Baekhyun's arm tightened, more certain, secure, bringing the first genuine smile of the morning to Baekhyun's face.

It wasn't a permanent fix, but it was a band-aid, and Baekhyun was an expert at applying them.

 

In all the chaos of panicking over the weekend, and then spending his entire Monday in a catatonic state of sadness over Minseok remaining oblivious, Baekhyun had _completely_ forgotten that their evening rehearsal was supposed to be focused on his and Jongdae’s first big scene together, _Watch Out._ The number Jongdae had auditioned with.

Baekhyun was so not prepared for this.

He considered being late, just to avoid more uncomfortable conversations, considering he’d ignored all of Jongdae’s text messages over the weekend in his fit of panic. But he knew Heechul would kill him, especially when _Watch Out_ was such a highly anticipated scene. So he sucked it up and...walked in hiding behind Chanyeol. 

He clearly had a handle on that anxiety of his.

Chanyeol, none the wiser, parted ways with him as soon as they got inside, however, and to Baekhyun’s _horror,_ he spotted Minseok and Jongdae sitting in the front row together. They were chatting quietly amongst themselves, and Baekhyun’s heartbeat skyrocketed in a fit of oncoming panic. What if Jongdae remembered everything and was filling Minseok in right now?

Before he could fully spiral, a spotlight landed right on him and Heechul’s voice echoed across the room. “Thank you for joining us, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun saw Minseok and Jongdae both whip around just before he focused on Heechul at the soundbooth with his best glare. He all but stomped up the steps to get to him, cheeks flaming, and sulked further at Heechul’s cheeky grin. “Honestly, is my life a fucking sitcom?” Baekhyun grumbled.

Heechul whistled. “I don’t like that ugly little cloud hanging over you today, Baek. What is the metaphorical sun that’ll make it break apart, huh?”

“Sleep, maybe.” Baekhyun shrugged helplessly. He didn’t want to talk about why he was tired, and sad, and hopeless. “Pulled an all-nighter.”

Heechul’s dramatic face of disgust would have been funny any other day. “Gross, why? Was League that serious last night?”

“I didn’t play League. I just…” What was he supposed to say? Wallowed? Anticipated disaster? 

Heechul seemed to sense his growing despair and waved a dismissive hand. “Doesn’t matter. At least you don’t have to sing today.”

“We’re not starting with the Ringa Ring refrain?”

Heechul shrugged. “We’ll do that Wednesday. We’re a little ahead of schedule anyway. We can afford to skip around a bit. Your voice is hoarse, and we’re not risking any damage to those golden vocal chords of yours.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes good-naturedly, but he wasn’t sure if he was thankful, or more anxious for being so fucking down in the dumps he was affecting rehearsal. “My vocal chords’ll be fine,” he tried, but Heechul was already scoffing and shaking his head.

He leaned into the mic, his best customer service voice booming over the speakers around them. “Hello all. Due to unforeseen circumstances or whatever, we’re changing up today’s plan.” Baekhyun could only watch Heechul helplessly. “We’re only gonna block _Watch Out,_ and we’re moving the preceding Truth or Dare scene to Wednesday. So...everyone but Baekhyun, Jongdae, and our directors are welcome to skedaddle. Sorry for the inconvenience, guys.” Heechul pulled away from the mic and looked at Baekhyun again. “Do you have the Watch Out demo? I wanna really see y’all nail down the choreo, and we’ll worry about vocals on Wednesday.”

Baekhyun closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Now that he thought about it, he’d left his entire binder at home. He didn’t even have his script, let alone any of the demos.

“I have mine,” Jongdae said from right behind him, and Baekhyun wished he could say he didn’t jump, but he did. He turned to see Jongdae pulling his backpack in front of him and digging through it until he retrieved the CD they’d given to each of the cast members. He handed it to Heechul, then turned to Baekhyun with a charming, pretty smile. “Hey, Baek.”

“Hey.”

Heechul stood from his seat. “I’m gonna grab a coffee real quick while you get settled. You guys want anything?”

Baekhyun sighed. “You mean my like, tenth cup of the day? Yeah, please. My regular. Large.” He dug a few bills out of his pocket and handed them over while Jongdae politely declined Heechul’s offer.

When Heechul walked away, Jongdae stepped closer, a pout on his lips and a hand slipping onto Baekhyun’s lower back. “You okay, Baek? You look like hell.”

“I’m aware.”

Jongdae placed his free palm on Baekhyun’s forehead. “Do you not feel well? I’m sure we could cancel practice altogether—“

“I’m fine.” Baekhyun cleared his throat and ducked away from Jongdae’s hands. “This wasn’t my idea. I just...didn’t sleep last night, and Heechul thinks my voice is too hoarse, so he did this.”

“Hey…” Jongdae murmured, stepping up to him again. He pulled Baekhyun in firmly by the waist with one hand, and cupped Baekhyun’s jaw with the other, tilting Baekhyun’s face this way and that, as if he was searching for injuries.

Despite himself, Baekhyun melted into the touch. Sometimes, he knew he just _really_ craved touch and affection, craved being held, and Jongdae was really appealing to that right now.

“Baek, seriously. Are you mad about Friday night? I’m sorry if I pushed too far—“

“Why would I be mad?” Baekhyun blurted before shaking his head and covering with, “I...barely even remember Friday night, so…”

“Really…” Jongdae drawled, his usual, consistent tone of amusement seeping back into his voice. “Come on, we didn’t drink that much—“

“I don’t—“ Baekhyun swallowed. His whole neck burned with the memories of Minseok and Jongdae’s mouths practically devouring him. “I…”

Jongdae’s eyes lit up. “You do remember, don’t you?”

 _”No,”_ Baekhyun squeaked, slipping out of Jongdae’s embrace and barreling down the auditorium steps.

Right into Minseok.

“Minseok!” Baekhyun shakily exclaimed. “Are you leaving?”

Minseok glanced between him and somewhere behind him, where he could hear Jongdae approaching. “I have a test in the morning that I should study for. I thought I’d head to the library so you guys don’t distract me.”

Baekhyun wasn’t sure why it sounded like Minseok was speaking in double entendres.

Just as Jongdae’s hand subtly slipped onto Baekhyun’s back, Minseok reached up, cupping the side of Baekhyun’s neck and dragging his thumb down the front of his throat.

Baekhyun struggled not to _choke._

“Is this why Heechul cancelled the rest of rehearsal?” Minseok quietly asked, just rubbing his thumb up and down the line of Baekhyun’s throat now. “Your voice sounds a lot worse than it did this morning.”

Baekhyun wasn’t even sure he could _breathe,_ let alone speak, not with Jongdae and Minseok just barely pressed up against him as they were. _As if he needed a reminder of exactly what Friday night felt like._ Their touches were equally maddening, and it took every ounce of energy within him to croak out a, “Yeah.”

Minseok hummed. “Should I bring you some tea?”

Baekhyun gulped, flushing because he knew Minseok could feel it. “Heechul’s bringing coffee.”

Minseok clicked his tongue. “Yah, all that sugar won’t help, Baekhyunnie.”

“Tea won’t keep me awake like my tenth cup of coffee will.” Baekhyun was proud of himself for keeping his words steady, but his breath still shook when it blew past his lips, and Minseok was close enough to feel that as well.

“You’re going to be a jittery mess by the time stage adrenaline kicks in,” Jongdae said from behind him.

Minseok sighed and took a step back, hand falling to his side. Baekhyun deeply inhaled, as if Minseok had been choking him. “Jongdae’s right,” Minseok said. “Text me when you’re done. I’ll bring you some tea.”

“Yeah?” Baekhyun breathed.

Minseok smiled and nodded. “Yeah, Baekhyunnie. Anything for you.”

Just like that, Baekhyun beamed. “Have fun studying.”

Minseok left with one last smile, and almost as if he refused to be forgotten, Jongdae stepped around Baekhyun, flooding his vision and senses. “So,” Jongdae started, stupid smirk sitting on his lips. “Shall we?”

“Ah…” Baekhyun chewed on his lip. “I need to have a quick meeting with the directors.” He laughed awkwardly. “Meet you back there?”

“Sure!” Jongdae slapped Baekhyun’s _butt,_ cackling and running away before Baekhyun could stutter out a response.

He beelined for Chanyeol and Kyungsoo sitting in the middle of the seats, his despair deep as he dramatically fell to the ground at their feet, wheezing out, _”What is happening?”_

“Are you seriously on the floor right now?” Kyungsoo deadpanned while Chanyeol practically squealed out, “Is dramatic-flair-Baekhyunnie back?!”

Ignoring the pang in his heart, Baekhyun groaned as he sat up, leaning against the seats in front of his friends. He dragged his fingers through his hair. “Did you guys see whatever it was that just happened? Please say you did.”

“Oh, we saw it.” Kyungsoo snorted. “Did you?”

Baekhyun frowned. “What does that even mean? I lived it!” He gently touched his neck, right where Minseok had left his mark Friday night. “I don’t understand it…”

Kyungsoo’s gaze sharpened on Baekhyun’s hand, and for a moment, Baekhyun had forgotten Kyungsoo had seen the bruise when it was fresh. He dropped his hand immediately, hoping to draw the attention away from it. Kyungsoo sighed. “I think we’re going to have to let you figure this out at your own pace.”

“We have to set our baby bird free so it can learn to fly,” Chanyeol said with his most theatrical sentimentality, even though Baekhyun was ninety percent sure Chanyeol had no idea what they were actually talking about.

That made two of them, really.

“I’m too tired to understand whatever you’re insinuating, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun said.

Kyungsoo held out his hands to help Baekhyun stand up. “You’re so dumb,” he said, but it was fond and made Baekhyun smile anyway.

 _”Baekhyun-ah!”_ Jongdae shouted from the stage.

Baekhyun stood and gave his friends one last smile before submitting to his fate. He left the row of seats, looking at Jongdae curiously where he stood on the edge of the stage and waited.

Instead of entering the door to the stairs that led to backstage, Baekhyun walked up to the edge, standing directly below Jongdae. Jongdae grinned. “Should I let down my hair for you to climb up?”

Baekhyun giggled. “Shut up.” He hoisted himself onto the stage and let Jongdae drag him to his feet. He carefully avoided fully knocking into Jongdae and slipped past him, jolted into a run when Jongdae grabbed at him, started _tickling_ him. Baekhyun shrieked, laughing as he did his best to dodge Jongdae’s fingers all the way backstage, until he was giddy and breathless and falling onto the couch, Jongdae falling right on top him.

Their laughter faded as Baekhyun’s fingers buried themselves in the fabric of Jongdae’s t-shirt. He didn’t feel nervous or scared or guilty for this one moment. He was too fucking exhausted, he figured, to _want_ to stop whatever was happening. “What are you doing?” Baekhyun asked, voice just above a whisper.

Jongdae adjusted himself, legs sliding more comfortably between Baekhyun’s, one hand propping him up next to Baekhyun’s head. His free hand slid onto Baekhyun’s face suddenly, cupping his jaw. Jongdae shook his head. “Just let me admire you, Baekhyun.” Baekhyun blinked rapidly, opening his mouth to retort, but the words didn’t come as Jongdae’s thumb ran across Baekhyun’s bottom lip. “Just for a minute,” Jongdae quietly promised.

His fingers slid carefully into Baekhyun’s hair, brushing it back. It didn’t evoke quite the same sense of _submission_ as it had when Minseok had gripped his hair like a vice, but it still made Baekhyun _feel._ It made him _want_ to feel. He sighed and pressed into Jongdae’s fingers when they started rubbing his scalp, which felt like it was pulled taut with his exhaustion. The pseudo-massage was effective enough to thoroughly melt him into the couch, and as his eyes fluttered shut and Jongdae’s lips started pressing damp kisses to his cheek, jaw, neck, the only thing in the world that worried him was how hard it was to force down his relieved moans.

“Think it’s been more than a min…” Baekhyun slurred eventually. He couldn’t be bothered to peel his eyes open by then, and his hands had long fallen from their place at Jongdae’s waist. Everything was so _warm,_ so inviting, so comforting. Baekhyun never wanted to leave this couch.

Jongdae’s low, soothing voice spoke right into his ear. “It’s okay. We have time.”

“Time for...what…”

“Shh…” Another kiss pressed into his cheek. “Sleep, Baekhyun-ah.”

“Hmmghrmg…”

Baekhyun fell asleep to Jongdae laughing fondly in his ear.

 

When Baekhyun did finally peel his eyes open, he didn’t recognize where he was. He rubbed his fists against his eyes and blinked groggily at the ceiling until his memory slowly seeped back into place. He was backstage, in the auditorium.

“Welcome back.”

Baekhyun groaned a little under his breath, stretching his body along the couch before tilting his head to see Jongdae sitting on the floor, head resting on the cushion right next to Baekhyun’s stomach. A textbook was nestled in his lap, and a highlighter in his hand. Baekhyun sniffled, still groggy as fuck, and curled up on his side. He reached over to start playing with Jongdae’s hair. “Hey. I fell asleep.”

“You did.” Jongdae’s smile sure was _pretty._

“How long?”

Jongdae hummed, picking up his phone to check the time. “Only an hour and a half.”

Baekhyun bolted upright, ignoring the spots in his vision as he yelled, _”Only?!”_ Jongdae turned around to face him properly, a pout on his lips. “What about rehearsal? Where is everyone—”

“Calm down, bud,” Jongdae said, climbing to his feet only to plop onto the couch where Baekhyun’s head had been. He tugged Baekhyun back by the hoodie, like he wanted him to lay back down, but Baekhyun shook his head, rotating until they were looking at each other instead. “They went home,” Jongdae finally added.

“But—”

“Baek,” Jongdae murmured, uncharacteristically soft. “Our scene won’t be hard to block. Not when we’re so good together.” Baekhyun felt his cheeks get hot. “You were basically drunk on sleep deprivation. Once you fell asleep, I asked Heechul if we could postpone.”

“I—” Baekhyun paused. “Did you _trick me_ into falling asleep?”

Jongdae at least appeared sheepish. “Like it was hard, geez. You were a zombie.”

“I wasn’t! I’m not!”

“Are you mad?” Jongdae’s pout rivaled Baekhyun’s, and he leaned into Baekhyun’s space, stealing his breath. “I wanted to help.”

Baekhyun whined, sagging both into the couch and closer to Jongdae. “I just feel bad that I affected rehearsal like this. I should...be setting a better example for my own play.”

“Oh, Baek,” Jongdae sighed, shaking his head. “Look, I’m the king of all-nighters. I know how this goes. You were mood swing-y and fuzzy and you would’ve stumbled your way through blocking and probably forgotten half of what we did.” 

Now Baekhyun was pouting. He knew Jongdae was right, but… “It doesn’t really matter. We’re adults. I should be able to deal with the consequences of not being able to sleep.”

Jongdae rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to kill yourself to be responsible. You probably didn’t skip sleep on purpose, right?” He carefully dragged a finger down the side of Baekhyun’s neck...right over Minseok’s hickey. “Were you freaking out about Friday night?”

Baekhyun reared back, clapping a hand over his neck without thinking, blurting, “You can _see_ it?”

“You _do_ remember,” Jongdae said conspiratorially. His eyes _sparkled._ “Why are you pretending you don’t? We had fun, right?”

Baekhyun willed his heartbeat to slow down. “Too much fun, maybe,” he said, voice a little too high-pitched. “But it’s better for everyone if they think I don’t know.”

“Everyone as in...Minseok.”

“Just—! Everyone!”

Jongdae snickered. “So easy to get you riled up. Anyway, your hickey looks a lot bigger.”

Baekhyun blinked. “Bigger…?”

Jongdae beamed. “We match!” He pulled the collar of his shirt aside, revealing a small, purple mark.

“What…”

“I think you got someone _very_ worked up before you disappeared Friday night.” Jongdae wiggled his eyebrows while Baekhyun stared blankly, trying to fit the pieces together.

Sudden waves of jealousy and hurt crashed over him. “Minseok…? Gave you that mark…?”

Jongdae’s cheshire cat grin had never been more menacing. “I’m just sad I didn’t give _you_ one.” He sighed wistfully. “Missed opportunities I guess. Unless…”

He leaned further into Baekhyun, breathing right onto his lips, but Baekhyun scrambled to the other end of the couch. His eyes were wide as he shook his head. “No we should—ah, should we rehearse now?”

Jongdae made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a whine. “It’s getting kinda late and I’m hungry…”

Baekhyun sighed, but nodded, picking at the seam of his pants. “Yeah, I guess you’re right... Heechul really wasn’t mad?”

“Nah.” Jongdae smiled. “He knew how zombie-like you were. Plus I pulled the birthday card, so.” He shrugged.

“What do you mean you pulled the birthday card?”

Jongdae laughed. “It’s my birthday today.”

Baekhyun’s jaw dropped. “It’s your _birthday?!_ Why didn’t you say anything sooner?!”

“I dunno.” Jongdae shrugged again. “I don’t like making a huge deal out of it. But that’s why I invited you guys out Friday night!”

“What the fuck,” Baekhyun wheezed. He was still way too exhausted to truly process _any_ of this. Then he paused, chewing on his lip. “You...sat here while I slept for an hour and a half on your birthday…?”

“Uh, yeah?” Jongdae huffed. “Like I would leave you all alone here.”

Through the exhaustion, darkness, guilt, confusion, _jealousy…_ through it all, Baekhyun’s chest bloomed with an affectionate warmth. He and Jongdae hardly knew each other in the grand scheme of things, yet here Jongdae was...thinking of him, _being_ with him. It only made it harder to parse through the muddled feelings in his heart. It made it harder to remember he’d tried to love someone else before, and it had ended in disaster.

Baekhyun felt himself soften, and he sighed before he said, “Why don’t we go get something to eat, then?”

“What? Together?” Jongdae raised his eyebrows, but Baekhyun could see the amusement sparkling in his eyes. “You mean you’re not running from me, screaming?”

Baekhyun chuckled, standing up and stretching. “Don’t push your luck, fuckboy.” He hummed, arms raised over his head as Jongdae laughed. “What sounds good to eat?”

He full-on _shivered_ when Jongdae’s hands were suddenly sliding onto his skin where his shirt and hoodie had lifted, as Jongdae pressed against his back much like he had Friday night. “You mean besides you?” Jongdae muttered right into Baekhyun's ear.

Baekhyun groaned before he pulled away to stop himself from doing something dumb as hell like _turn around and kiss Jongdae senseless._ “You’re the _worst,”_ he said instead. His stomach growled. “Seriously, I’m starving.” He also needed a distraction from the thoughts at the edge of his mind, the dark ones about Jongdae and Minseok and what they could have possibly done after Baekhyun ran away from them.

Jongdae sighed dramatically and squatted down to start picking up his books and pens. “Yeah, same,” he said. “We could go to that 24-hour diner a couple of blocks from campus? They have bottomless fries and—“

Baekhyun stopped paying attention the second he stepped in front of a nearby mirror, eyes focused on the faint trace of Minseok’s hickey beneath faded concealer. How long had it been like that? Had Minseok seen? _Why_ did Jongdae have a “matching” one? _What_ had they done when Baekhyun was out of the way?

A gentle hand touched his waist. “Hey,” Jongdae murmured behind him. “Where’d you go?”

Baekhyun blinked the threat of tears from his eyes and shook his head. “Sorry. The diner sounds great. Whatever you want.”

“Baek…”

Baekhyun cleared his throat. “Just let me cover this back up real quick—“

“Is that what you’re worried about?” Jongdae asked. He grabbed Baekhyun’s wrist to keep him walking away. “It wasn’t faded like that before. I think Minseok rubbed it off when he asserted his dominance over you.”

Baekhyun froze, blinked. “When he _what?!”_

Jongdae laughed. “What? You didn’t think that was a power move out there? When he grabbed your neck like that?”

“Uh…” Baekhyun’s mouth went dry. “No?”

“Oh, Baekhyun.” Jongdae laughed again. “He was showing off because I was hovering.”

Baekhyun’s blood ran cold. Of course. Minseok was showing off to...to what? Impress Jongdae? To...prove they could use Baekhyun in whatever game they were probably playing? He couldn’t deny they’d look great together, and his brain was relentless in listing the things they could’ve done to each other without Baekhyun in the way. 

Of course this would happen. Of course the love of his life and his maybe-crush would like each other more than they liked him—

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he snatched it out, needing a sufficient distraction from his mental spiral.

>> **minseok**  
_are you guys still rehearsing?_  
_studying is boring without_  
_you :/_

Baekhyun sighed, squeezing his eyes shut briefly as if that would help shove aside all the bitter feelings swirling in his chest. “It’s Minseok,” he said. “Should I invite him?”

One glance at Jongdae revealed sparkly, excited eyes, and Baekhyun’s heart sank. “Why not?” Jongdae said, grinning wide.

 **baekhyun** <<  
_nah. did u know it’s jongdae’s_  
_birthday? we’re gonna grab_  
_food from kirby diner if you_  
_wanna join us_

 **baekhyun** <<  
_i think he’d be rly happy_  
_if you came_

>> **minseok**  
_oh! sure. meet you in the_  
_senior parking lot?_

 **baekhyun** <<  
_sounds good, minseokkie_

Baekhyun did his best to divert any further conversation about Friday night while he and Jongdae walked to meet Minseok. Instead, he dove into a discussion about the musical, and how maybe tomorrow they could get together for an hour or so to practice their scene, which Jongdae easily agreed to.

And once Baekhyun greeted Minseok with a smile, he did his best to divert any further conversation or attention from himself altogether as they walked to the diner. If it was each other Minseok and Jongdae were interested in, then he wasn’t about to get in their way. He’d wallow in self-pity while he hung back and let them walk ahead, together, to give them as much time to themselves as possible.

He was set on this, on being the bigger person and staying out of the way. Only then, a couple of minutes in, Minseok turned around and held his hand out for Baekhyun with a frown, asking why he was so far away from them. 

Baekhyun tentatively accepted his hand and muttered an excuse about thinking about everything he needed to do this week.

Just because he couldn’t say no to anything Minseok did or said, however, didn’t mean he couldn’t continue to keep quiet and let the others chat over him about their own plans for the week, and how they had so much studying to do they might not survive. Only then, just when Baekhyun was reaching his highest level of _Sulk,_ Jongdae gently slid his arm around Baekhyun’s waist and asked what he was planning on eating at the diner.

Minseok laced his and Baekhyun’s fingers together while Baekhyun stuttered out something about those bottomless fries Jongdae had mentioned sounding good.

Baekhyun was sweating by the time they made it to the diner, half-convinced he was dissociating, honestly, so as soon as they made it to the entrance, Baekhyun broke apart from them and hurried to the booth in the back corner. He only realized his mistake once Minseok slid in next to him; because he sat down first, he would be trapped there.

He took a deep breath, avoiding Jongdae’s curious eyes across from them and smiling at the waiter approaching them instead. “Should I get a coffee?” he mumbled, half to himself, half to Minseok, who was always his voice of reason with things like this.

Minseok slid his hand onto Baekhyun’s thigh and squeezed. Baekhyun gulped. “No.” Minseok shook his head. “We could split a milkshake though, if you want.”

Baekhyun brightened considerably at that. “Strawberry?”

“Of course.” Minseok smiled indulgently before letting the waiter know their decision, and also ordering them both waters. Jongdae ordered a Coke and the bottomless fries as an appetizer.

Baekhyun let out a sigh and stretched his legs across the gap under the table, propping his feet on the seat next to Jongdae. “So how was rehearsal?” Minseok asked.

“I slept through it,” Baekhyun mumbled.

Minseok gasped. “Baekhyun!”

“It wasn’t his fault,” Jongdae cut in before Baekhyun could get upset over being scolded. “I sorta tricked him into it. Then asked Heechul if we could cancel.”

“Oh,” was all Minseok said for a minute. Baekhyun smiled gratefully at Jongdae, who smiled back, then dropped a soothing hand to Baekhyun’s ankle. “Then…” Minseok continued. “What did you do that whole time?” he asked Jongdae.

Jongdae shrugged. “Homework. I actually thought about breaking into Baekhyun-ah’s phone to call you—I don’t know which number is yours in the musical group chat—but I didn’t want to disturb him. We could’ve studied together.”

“Next time,” Minseok seemed to promise.

Baekhyun frowned. “Next time I inevitably fuck up and pass out before a rehearsal?”

“No—“ Minseok started, but Jongdae was louder.

“Next time, we should just all study together. The three of us. Study groups are effective, right?”

Baekhyun nodded automatically, though he knew his study sessions with Minseok alone were distracting enough. Adding Jongdae to the mix? He sent out a short prayer for his already suffering grades.

And for himself, who had two different hands on his leg, rubbing and squeezing and making him torn between falling asleep and being turned on.

Minseok also seemed to agree, with this weird smile on his face, but before anyone could say anything else, the waiter was bringing their soft drinks to them. They all smiled at him, but when he asked if they were ready to order, they laughed.

“I guess we forgot to look at the menu,” Jongdae said. “I can pick now though, if you guys are ready.”

Baekhyun and Minseok nodded, and Baekhyun quickly skimmed the menu while the others ordered. He settled on a breakfast platter over a burger, and took a couple of big gulps of water while he waited his turn.

As soon as they were done ordering, someone else brought their finished milkshake, and Baekhyun keened. He stole the first sip for himself, humming loudly in his satisfaction. He fell against Minseok, head on his shoulder and pleased, while Minseok quietly slid the milkshake glass closer to him to take his own sip.

Jongdae was watching them with one of his infamous amused gazes, only to be interrupted by Minseok sliding the glass across the table, holding the straw in place, and murmuring, “Try it. It’s really good.”

Baekhyun was sure his soul was transported to another galaxy watching the exchange, watching Jongdae lean forward to wrap his lips around the straw until they were touching Minseok’s fingers. Jongdae held eye contact with Minseok as he started drinking, and Baekhyun felt his face grow hot before Jongdae even flicked his eyes over to him as well.

Who knew drinking milkshakes could be so fucking _erotic?_

 _God, what was wrong with him?_ He was supposed to be staying out of the way, not getting lowkey turned on by their weird-ass mating dance.

Baekhyun squirmed, and Jongdae’s grip tightened on his ankle. Baekhyun was one second from chugging his water when their waiter brought their first round of fries.

Baekhyun stuffed his face with those instead.

The weird tension seemed to dissipate a bit with the presence of food between them all. And by the time they were excitedly discussing the rehearsals coming up that they’d be doing with Yixing and his fellow dancers, Baekhyun was mostly convinced he’d imagined all the weirdness and sexy milkshake drinking.

They were halfway through their actual meals, and Baekhyun was sleepily picking at the remainder of his platter when Minseok said, “Hey, about studying together...if we’re doing that, could we run lines too?”

Jongdae _oohed_ and Baekhyun automatically nodded, leaning heavily into Minseok as exhaustion started to catch up to him.

Minseok squeezed his thigh. “There are just a couple of scenes I’m having trouble with because they’re full of banter and that’s easier to nail with others.”

“Mmm,” Jongdae pondered. “Yes, it _is_ easier to nail with others…”

Baekhyun turned his foot to dig it into Jongdae’s side. Jongdae flinched and laughed, holding his hands up in surrender while Minseok looked thoroughly confused. Baekhyun shook his head, eyes drooping as he held a bite of egg up for Minseok to eat. “Running lines sounds like a great—“ Baekhyun yawned. “—idea, Min...seokkie…” He hummed, and vaguely wondered if they somehow planned the way they both smoothed their hands up and down his leg as if they were trying to lull him to sleep.

Whether or not they were trying, it worked.

+++

**studysesh:baekhyun** <<  
 _i’m tired of having to_  
 _communicate our study_  
 _sessions with u guys_  
 _separately -_-_

 **studysesh:baekhyun** <<  
_so voila, here’s our new gc_

 **studysesh:baekhyun** <<  
_now u have each other’s_  
_numbers too you’re welcome_

>> **studysesh:minseok**  
_??????_

>> **studysesh:jongdae**  
_we exchanged numbers while_  
_you snoozed on us at the_  
_diner a couple of weeks ago lmao_  
_should’ve done it way sooner tbh_

>> **studysesh:jongdae**  
_i’m not complaining tho ;D_  
_now i can sweet talk ya both_  
_at the same time_

 **studysesh:baekhyun** <<  
_BLOCKED_

>> **studysesh:minseok**  
_honestly_

>> **studysesh:jongdae**  
_awwwwww come on!!_  
_my two favorite men can’t_  
_treat me like this T_T_

>> **studysesh:minseok**  
_i’m rolling my eyes right now_

>> **studysesh:jongdae**  
_minseok, darling, emojis exist_

 **studysesh:baekhyun** <<  
_yeah he does that lol_

>> **studysesh:jongdae**  
_cuuuuute_

>> **studysesh:minseok**  
_ >.< _

+++

Baekhyun couldn’t say that things were _painless_ as time moved forward; he was still disgustingly in love with his best friend and harboring a growing crush on his castmate, after all. But despite that—and his theory that those two were actually developing feelings for _each other—_ he was managing to keep his head above water.

So long as he used literally anything else as a distraction until he passed out, before starting the whole deflection process over again, of course.

But he was proud of himself for staying relatively strong. Maybe the musical helped, maybe his classes, but he was spending more time than ever with both Minseok and Jongdae and didn’t constantly feel ready to die of anxiety or embarrassment or blue balls, so that was something, right?

He’d even made it through the _Watch Out_ focused rehearsals without completely melting down over Jongdae’s seductive vocals, or the provocative blocking that Heechul _heavily_ insisted upon. There was a lot of touching and Jongdae crawling over Baekhyun and subtle grinding, and sure, Baekhyun went home more than once with a hard-on, but _he didn’t die of an embarrassed meltdown._

The biggest...setback was, despite Baekhyun’s lack of overwhelming anxiety when performing with Jongdae, Baekhyun couldn’t bring himself to _kiss_ Jongdae.

It was needed for the end of their scene, and would be needed again later, but the first time they ran through a tentative choreography for the number in question, Baekhyun had his brave face on until Jongdae dipped in to kiss him. Multiple times, Baekhyun ended up with sloppy cheek kisses, and every time he laughed it off and slapped Jongdae on the back as he complimented him a job well done.

Then, he’d avoid the topic like it was the goddamn return of the black plague.

He didn’t really know why the idea of kissing Jongdae freaked him out so bad, when it wasn’t much compared to the other things they were doing in this number. But it was like every time they made it to The Big Kiss, Baekhyun’s strength dissipated.

He had a feeling it was at least partially due to Minseok always watching from the wings. Like Baekhyun would be a disappointment to him if he kissed Jongdae in front of him.

It was silly. Heechul was only getting more frustrated with him, even though Jongdae was infuriatingly patient. Baekhyun was aware enough to admit he maybe (definitely) _wanted_ to kiss Jongdae, but every time he imagined kissing him, Minseok was at the forefront of his mind, watching them, judging Baekhyun for wanting to kiss more than one person romantically.

It was a battle Baekhyun would maybe never win.

He sighed, plopping down on the edge of his bed, script already in hand as Jongdae tossed his backpack down next to Baekhyun’s computer chair.

“So like, we should kiss.”

Baekhyun froze in the middle of turning the page on his script, blinking up at Jongdae. “What?”

Jongdae grinned, cheekier than ever, and said, “I’m serious. As like...practice.”

Something in Baekhyun’s gut deflated. “So you want to practice kissing? For the play?”

“Yep! Sounds great, right?!” Jongdae lurched forward, leaning down to grab Baekhyun’s face, but Baekhyun dropped his script to block him. He grabbed Jongdae’s wrists and held them away. 

“We, uh…” Baekhyun swallowed, panicking. “We can do our practice kiss during dress rehearsal.” Even saying it, Baekhyun knew it was ridiculous. Of course they needed to practice, but despite his reservations about kissing Jongdae in front of Minseok, he wasn’t sure it was safe to kiss Jongdae outside of a controlled environment, either.

“You want our first kiss to be on stage in front of like a hundred people?” Jongdae deadpanned with an unimpressed, cocked eyebrow to match.

“Yep,” Baekhyun squeaked, and _honestly,_ could his voice stop doing that around Jongdae?

Jongdae huffed, straightening up a little and stepping between Baekhyun’s legs. “Come on, Baek,” he whined. “What if we don’t have any chemistry while kissing? We need to test it now!”

“We have plenty of chemistry on stage…” Baekhyun realized how easily they were falling into a pseudo-embrace, his grip on Jongdae’s wrists much gentler while Jongdae leaned into his space like he belonged there. Baekhyun felt his cheeks grow warmer, but he didn’t stop whatever they were doing.

Jongdae shook his head. “Kissing is different and you know it.”

“But—“

Jongdae groaned. “You know I’m right!”

Huffing indignantly to hide his sudden overwhelming nervousness, Baekhyun used his grip on Jongdae to push him back, but didn’t let go of him as he stood up. “One kiss?” Baekhyun quietly asked, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

“Yep!” Jongdae hurried forward like before, but Baekhyun reared back to dodge him, frowning.

“Shouldn’t we at least like...practice the blocking too? Y’know, so we really know it all works?”

Baekhyun regretted his words the second a smirk lit up Jongdae’s face. “You are so smart, Baekhyunnie.”

Baekhyun gulped.

It took a minute of maneuvering, but soon Baekhyun was being pressed into the soft jackets hanging on his own bedroom door, and Jongdae’s hand was cupping his thigh as he slowly dragged it up to hike it around his hip.

Baekhyun’s breath caught in his throat. They were really doing this. He tried to control his breathing as his hands moved right where they needed to be, buried deep in Jongdae’s hair.

 _“Ooh…”_ Jongdae gently sang in his falsetto, bumping his nose against Baekhyun’s with surprising affection. _“Are you ready?”_

Baekhyun parted his lips in anticipation just before Jongdae prematurely dived in, ditching his last, pretty _ooh_ in favor of kissing Baekhyun like it was the last thing they’d ever do.

Baekhyun was pretty sure his heart exploded.

They skipped right over chaste and easy, going straight for _passion_ instead when Jongdae pressed his entire body forward. He trapped Baekhyun’s bottom lip between his own, and then his top. Baekhyun could feel Jongdae’s kitten-lips curl up when he made Baekhyun gasp, an electric jolt of pleasure shooting through his body when Jongdae subtly grinded their crotches together.

Baekhyun didn’t mean to moan when he did, when Jongdae slid his hand underneath Baekhyun’s thigh until it was cupping his butt. But the moan was there, low and desperate, parting his lips enough for Jongdae to slip his tongue between. He trapped Jongdae’s tongue gently with his teeth, tugging, and Jongdae squeezed his butt in return. When Baekhyun let go, Jongdae resumed licking behind Baekhyun’s teeth and periodically squeezing his ass, humming low when Baekhyun’s tongue met his, wanting its own taste.

When Baekhyun’s fingers tightened in Jongdae’s hair and dragged a moan from deep in his throat, Baekhyun knew they were getting too carried away, but he also knew he was too weak to put a stop to it. How could he when Jongdae felt this good against him?

“Fuck, Baekhyun—“ Jongdae gasped between kisses, but didn’t stop, seemingly okay with suffocating as long as it was by Baekhyun’s lips.

Baekhyun barely registered that Jongdae called him by his real name, not his character name—as if they were even in character to start with—but there was no time to acknowledge it. Not when Jongdae was scooping up Baekhyun’s dormant thigh and wrapping it around his waist as well, hiking Baekhyun further up the door and kissing him _harder._

Baekhyun’s moans came freely now as Jongdae started up a steady grind of their crotches. Jongdae swallowed the sounds eagerly, panting against Baekhyun’s mouth when he wasn’t deflowering it with his tongue.

Everything was on fire, they were both hard in their pants, and Baekhyun was five seconds away from telling Jongdae to throw him on the bed when a firm knock sounded on the door they were rutting against. They both startled, wide-eyed, gasping and panting into each other’s lips.

When a long moment passed of no one knocking or saying anything however, Jongdae dragged Baekhyun back down into a hungry kiss, nipping at his lips just on the right side of painfully. Baekhyun melted right back into him.

Someone knocked again. Baekhyun gasped both from the surprise and from the delicious way Jongdae _slowly_ rubbed their crotches together. 

Jongdae trailed his mouth down Baekhyun’s neck, his damp lips scaling his skin in a way that made Baekhyun shudder in his hold. And when Jongdae nosed Baekhyun’s t-shirt to the side and latched his teeth onto Baekhyun’s shoulder, Kyungsoo’s voice rang out, “Baek. Minseok’s here.”

Just like that, the moment withered.

Baekhyun tapped Jongdae on the shoulder as he tried to let his legs down, until Jongdae finally got the hint and eased them from his hips. He whined under his breath, pouting at Baekhyun, but Baekhyun shook his head, feeling a little panicky for no good reason (as usual). Like he’d just been caught doing something terrible.

 _Oh god,_ he’d almost let Jongdae _fuck him._

Whipping around and wiping the sweat from his forehead, Baekhyun cracked open his door and peeked through at a thoroughly unimpressed Kyungsoo. “Hi,” Baekhyun wheezed. He slapped away Jongdae’s hand when it grabbed his butt.

“He forgot his script in the car,” Kyungsoo said, quirking an eyebrow. _He didn’t hear anything,_ was Kyungsoo’s message, loud and clear.

Baekhyun didn’t know why that made him sag in relief. It wasn’t like he and Minseok were together, obviously. They were still in the same place they’d always been. Minseok was oblivious, and Baekhyun was pining. They’d both been with people in the past several years, casual and serious, so it shouldn’t make a difference now if Minseok knew Baekhyun and Jongdae were...doing whatever they were doing.

God, what were they doing?

Oh _god,_ but didn’t Minseok and Jongdae like _each other?_

“C-Can you stall him?” Baekhyun asked.

“So you can get off? Absolutely not.”

“No!” Baekhyun squeaked. “No one’s getting off in here. Just...please.”

Kyungsoo narrowed his eyes, but nodded. Baekhyun exhaled in relief and closed the door, turning the lock for good measure.

He whipped around to face Jongdae, whose smirk was so smug Baekhyun thought he might actually slap it off. “What the _hell?”_ he asked instead.

Jongdae wasn’t deterred, merely quirking a brow at him. “Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy that,” he said, smile widening. “Dicks don’t lie.”

Baekhyun covered his face and groaned. “You are such a fuckboy. I can’t believe you just Shakira-ed me. But with our _dicks.”_

Hands wrapped around Baekhyun’s wrists and tugged them down, and when Baekhyun opened his eyes, Jongdae was close again. “Did I break you?” Jongdae asked, attempting to be serious and failing miserably. “How should I put you back together?” His hands slipped onto Baekhyun’s butt, and Baekhyun slipped away.

“Stop with the terrible lines!” he whined.

Taking a step toward him, Jongdae smiled. “But don’t stop the other things?”

It took everything Baekhyun had not to scream. He settled for pulling on his own hair to stop himself from agreeing out loud. _No! Please don’t stop touching me! Like, ever!_ “Whatever,” Baekhyun breathed, aware that it wasn’t the most sensible comeback. “Th-That wasn’t even practice, Jongdae. That was—that was—“

“It was hot, for one,” Jongdae said. He slipped back into Baekhyun’s personal space, though he did seem a little more cautious this time. Still smug though. Baekhyun pursed his lips to keep from kissing his stupid mouth. “The chemistry’s…” Baekhyun shivered when Jongdae’s hand crept up his side. “...definitely there.”

Baekhyun swallowed. “Great. Now we know.”

“What’s the problem?” Jongdae tilted his head, and his other hand came up to cup the side of Baekhyun’s neck. “Is it just because you prefer it soft and slow? Like how I lulled you to sleep that day backstage?”

“That’s none of your business—“

“Should we test it?” Jongdae chewed on his lip, his eyes darting between Baekhyun’s eyes and mouth.

“Wh-What—“

Jongdae was an inch away, the tips of their noses already touching. “I’m asking if I can kiss you again. Consent is important.”

Baekhyun’s resolve immediately crumbled. He huffed a wary laugh. “Y’know what? Fuck it. Yeah. Yeah.”

This press of lips was the opposite of harsh and frantic, but no less passionate, Baekhyun realized. After a sweet moment of soft, chaste kisses, he found himself surging forward, wrapping his arms around Jongdae’s neck and gently tracing the line of his curly lips with his tongue.

Jongdae hummed as he parted his lips for Baekhyun, and his hands slid along Baekhyun’s back, indecisive until one finally nestled between his shoulder blades, and the other just under the hem of his shirt. Jongdae’s thumb rubbed his skin and sent chills up his spine.

In the back of Baekhyun’s affection-hazy mind, he knew they didn’t have much time to wrap this up, but he couldn’t help but draw it out as long as possible. There was no denying Jongdae was a good kisser, and if this, if sucking on Jongdae’s lips and tongue a little longer than necessary was the only way to feed the restless butterflies in his stomach for a little while, then feed them he would.

He lazily relented when Jongdae took over, doing much the same that Baekhyun did to him before peppering gentle kisses down the center of Baekhyun’s throat. Baekhyun tilted his head back to accommodate him, eyes closed and an easy smile on his kiss-swollen lips.

“Shit, you really do prefer it soft and slow,” Jongdae muttered, seemingly in awe. “You just like, melted under me.”

“Mmm, yeah. Our secret.” Baekhyun picked his head back up and met Jongdae for a lethargic kiss. “Got a reputation to uphold,” he muttered before diving in again.

Jongdae snorted. “No one’s talking about how you like to be kissed or fucked.” Jongdae nipped at his lips playfully. “Just your talent.”

“Ooh, keep praising me if you really wanna see me get soft.”

Something shifted in Jongdae’s expression, making Baekhyun realize the usual smugness and mischievous glint had been missing for a little while. But now those things were back and Jongdae was holding Baekhyun at arms length. “Sorry, I’m all out of ego boosts today,” he teased, and Baekhyun knew the moment was gone. “Try again never!”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and shook his arms from Jongdae’s grip. “Whatever. Go in the bathroom and hide your boner or something while I go get Minseok.”

“Why would I hide it when he could join us?” Jongdae fluttered his eyelashes, making a show of reaching for Baekhyun’s butt.

Baekhyun dodged him, feeling his cheeks flush hot at the mere idea. He couldn’t stop his brain from flashing back to that night at the club, trapped between them...

“You’re thinking about it,” Jongdae observed with a pompous grin. “Oh man that would be hot. Minseok is hot. I like him.”

Baekhyun, in a fit of panic, grabbed Jongdae and pushed him into the bathroom. “Why are you like this?” Baekhyun whined, closing the door for him so he didn’t have to look at his _stupid_ and _attractive_ face and also be hurt that it wanted Minseok more. He glanced around until his eyes landed on the wooden chair in the corner of his room with a stack of laundry on top. Baekhyun dumped the laundry and propped the chair below the doorknob to trap Jongdae in.

“Baek, did you just—“

“Behave!” Baekhyun screeched, jumping in front of his mirror to quickly get his hair back in order and to do his best to tuck his hard-on away so maybe Minseok wouldn’t notice.

He cautiously ventured from his room, ignoring Jongdae’s whining, and only relaxed when Kyungsoo gave him a hidden thumbs up, okaying his appearance to go before Minseok. “Hey,” Baekhyun breathed, wrapping Minseok in a hug before he could get a good look at Baekhyun.

“Hey, Baek.” Minseok smiled at him when they pulled back. He shook his script in front of him. “I’m ready to go over my lines.”

Baekhyun beamed at him and led him to his room.

Though in the midst of the overwhelming relief he tended to feel every time he was around Minseok, he’d managed to already forget about Jongdae being locked up. Until they walked in and Jongdae was dully beating on the bathroom door.

Minseok hesitated, setting his script on Baekhyun’s bed. “Did you lock Jongdae in the bathroom?”

“...He was being inappropriate.”

“Baekhyun,” Minseok scolded, immediately moving over to the bathroom and removing the chair from under the doorknob. “You can’t just lock people in bathrooms!”

Baekhyun cringed as the door slowly opened, revealing the most unimpressed of Jongdaes standing before them. “Thanks, Minseok!” he said, popping his tongue like he had gum in his mouth.

Baekhyun knew _very_ well that he didn’t.

Then, to Baekhyun’s horror, Jongdae sidled up to Minseok and casually wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “You look nice today,” he said. He leaned back enough to be out of Minseok’s peripheral, and wiggled his eyebrows at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun tried not to choke. “He looks nice every day!” He clamped his lips shut. God, he was an idiot.

“Thanks…?” Minseok said uncertainly.

Jongdae tilted his head. Maybe Baekhyun had lost all ability to be discreet when he was still tussled from Jongdae’s hungry pelvis. And lips.

God, his lips…

“Say Minseok,” Jongdae said suddenly. “Totes random, and unrelated to anything happening in here, but have you ever considered what it would be like to have a threesome with someone? Anyone?”

Baekhyun was sure his eyes bugged out of his head while Minseok sputtered indignantly. “Excuse me?” he said, as Baekhyun considered how many different ways he could _kill_ Jongdae.

Jongdae shrugged, shaking Minseok’s shoulders with his grip. “Just wondering, y’know? People are so averse to threesomes, foursomes, polyamory—”

 _”I need a glass of water,”_ Baekhyun wheezed, bolting straight for the door and throwing himself into the hallway.

He made it halfway to the kitchen when he realized he’d just left Minseok _alone_ with _Jongdae._

He ran and threw himself back into his room, interrupting what looked to be...genuine smiles on Minseok and Jongdae’s faces, smiles they were giving each other. Baekhyun knew he looked harried at best, and felt his eye twitch when Jongdae said, “Whaddaya know, Baek? Minseok thinks threesomes are neat.”

Minseok flushed bright red. “I didn’t say that! I just—” He turned to Baekhyun and frowned. “Are you okay?”

“Uhhhh,” Baekhyun eloquently responded, before grabbing Minseok’s wrist in a panic and pulling him into the hallway. “I don’t know, Min! Why don’t you help me figure that out?”

“Okay…” Minseok muttered, surprisingly letting himself be dragged all the way to the kitchen. “You’re acting really weird. Also you’re an adult. You should know if you’re feeling okay or not.”

Baekhyun laughed, loudly and inappropriately, but he couldn’t stop it. He grabbed the nearest glass and filled it to the brim with water before chugging half of it in one go.

Minseok’s eyebrows pulled together as he rested a hand on Baekhyun’s forehead. “You’re warm, but I don’t think it’s a fever…”

“I’m fine,” Baekhyun rasped, choosing to follow it up by chugging the rest of his water. “He just drives me crazy.”

“Who?” Minseok frowned. “Jongdae? He’s not so bad.”

Baekhyun let out an outraged cry. “You’re kidding me, right?”

Minseok shrugged, a frown still pulling at his lips. His eyes were calculating. “He’s abrasive, sure, but he reminds me of you. Always trying to lift the mood.”

Baekhyun miserably tried not to think about Jongdae’s mood lifting Baekhyun’s _dick._

“I like him.”

Baekhyun froze. “Oh?” was all he could think to say.

Minseok shrugged again, gaze dropping to the counter. “If you like him, I like him.”

“What?” Baekhyun almost dropped the glass in his hand. “I don’t—”

“I mean, it’s understandable if you do. It looked like he really swept you off your feet from the get-go. Makes sense.”

Baekhyun floundered. “Minseok, I hardly know him, really.” It wasn’t the truth, but it felt like the right thing to say. “You’re the—”

Minseok’s smile was wry. “You always go for people you hardly know.”

That hit Baekhyun hard.

He wanted to cry, he wanted to _scream_ at Minseok, _Why can’t you see that’s not true? Why don’t you realize it’s only ever been you?_ But all he could do was flip a switch, plaster on a smile, and chuckle as he said, “Ah, I guess you’re right about that, at least. But not about the other thing.” He set his glass on the counter and backed away from Minseok, shooting finger-guns at him, because _that_ seemed like the right thing to do, apparently. 

“Hey, can you take a couple of sodas back with you? I forgot I need to talk to Kyungsoo really quick.” Minseok blinked, his uncertainty clear, but he nodded and moved toward the fridge before Baekhyun slipped down the hall and into Kyungsoo and Chanyeol’s room. 

He fell into Kyungsoo’s arms and cried.

+++

Baekhyun and Minseok didn’t speak for the next couple of days, like there was some unspoken agreement they’d gotten into an argument or something, even though they clearly hadn’t. Even when Baekhyun had recomposed himself and slipped from Kyungsoo’s embrace and back into his bedroom, they hardly looked at each other, and only spoke directly to each other when Baekhyun made gentle notes about Minseok’s inflection or timing. Even Jongdae had caught on that something was wrong, and toned down his intemperance enough to almost be functioning like a normal human being.

Between then and the next rehearsal, Baekhyun buried himself in his script, making minor edits and notes on blocking for the scenes they hadn’t done yet. He even skipped his Wednesday class with Minseok, feigning sick. But he couldn’t skip out on rehearsal on Friday, and they were set to work on blocking a scene between himself, Minseok, and Jongdae, so basically, Baekhyun was fucked.

“Hey, Baek,” Jongdae said with a cheeky grin, slapping Baekhyun’s butt when he walked backstage and tossed his backpack aside.

Baekhyun snorted, without the energy to do much else. “Hey.” He waved politely at Junmyeon and Seulgi chatting on the couch, then moved across the floor to grab a water bottle from the fridge.

Jongdae followed him. “What? No smile for me?” he asked.

Baekhyun turned and shined his best—and fakest—boxy grin, then let his expression fall as he took a long sip of water.

“I guess I’ll take it,” Jongdae said in his most skeptical tone. “Also, heads up, Heechul wants us to run through Watch Out today—“

“I know. We’re starting with it.”

“—with a real kiss.”

Baekhyun took a sip of water. “Okay.”

“Okay? That’s it?”

“What do you want me to say?”

Jongdae scrunched up his nose and said, “I dunno. I just thought you’d freak out or something. It’s cute when you do that.”

Baekhyun rubbed his nose, feeling his cheeks heat up. “Why does it matter? Did you convince him we needed to?”

“No, actually.” Jongdae grabbed the bottle from Baekhyun’s hands and took a swig for himself before handing it back over. Baekhyun couldn’t even be surprised. “I got outta class early, so I headed here and caught him when he was running out for coffee. It was the first thing he said to me.”

Baekhyun hummed, but didn’t say anything. 

After a brief pause, Jongdae’s hand was on Baekhyun’s forehead. “What are you doing?” Baekhyun asked.

“Are you sick?” Jongdae frowned. “Where’s my daily dose of banter?!”

“Sorry. All out.”

Jongdae stopped, any trace of mischief falling from his expression. Baekhyun decidedly didn’t like that. “Baek, is everything okay? You’ve been acting weird all week. If it’s about us making out the other day—“

“No.” Baekhyun busied himself with digging through his backpack. “We were rehearsing. It’s fine.”

“I hardly think we could put on that kind of performance and get away with it,” Jongdae drily responded. When Baekhyun didn’t answer, too focused on trying to pull himself from the _terrible_ mood he was in, Jongdae sighed and sat on the floor next to Baekhyun’s backpack. He pulled his knees to his chest and rested his cheek against them, watching Baekhyun’s aimless rummaging.

Baekhyun huffed. “Stop being quiet. It’s weird.”

 _”You_ stop being quiet.” Jongdae pouted. “I feel like I’m bugging you if I talk, but I still wanna be around you.”

Baekhyun frowned, turning glassy eyes on Jongdae. “That was sweet.” He plopped onto his butt, shoving his backpack aside and continuing to frown down at his hands. “I’ve just had a bad week. It’s not your fault.”

“Did something happen? Or is it just…” Jongdae leaned over and tapped a finger against Baekhyun’s temple.

“It’s always that.” Baekhyun’s laugh was devoid of any humor. “I’m not going to burden you with the details.”

“You—“

“Alright, nerds!” Heechul called as he emerged from the stairs. “We’ve got—who’s missing?”

Everyone glanced around. “I think you’re early, Heech,” Jongdae chimed from their nook against the wall. “Minseok’s not even here yet.”

Baekhyun ignored the tiny stab in his heart that burned because Jongdae noticed, pointed that out because he knew Minseok well enough to know he was never late.

“Yeah, most of us aren’t here yet,” Seulgi laughed.

“I heard the construction on the other side of campus is holding people up too,” Junmyeon added.

Heechul groaned. “Insufferable. Where’s Baekhyun?” Jongdae laughed when Baekhyun just raised his hand. “Oh,” Heechul said. “You and Jongdae are just so small—“

Baekhyun waved his hand in the air, indicating Heechul get on with it. Jongdae was frowning at him again.

“I need the complete scene between you and Jongdae today, Baek.” Baekhyun turned his hand into a thumbs up. “That means I need to see a kiss today.”

Junmyeon and Seulgi _oohed_ and Baekhyun just forced his thumbs up higher in the air. 

“I already talked to him,” Jongdae said. “We’re on it.”

“Good. Ah! Minseok, how pleasant of you to join us!”

Baekhyun stiffened, staring holes into his lap as Minseok murmured, “Oh? Am I late?”

“Nah,” Jongdae answered. “I think Heechul’s got a hot date or something. He’s trying to rush things along.”

Minseok snorted. “Sounds about right.”

“I’m _right_ here,” Heechul dully complained. “That’s ten laps each.”

Everyone but Baekhyun laughed. “Since when did musical theatre become football practice, huh?!” Jongdae teased.

A few more of the cast filed into the room in the middle of the chaos. Baekhyun hated that he felt so separated from it all. He stirred from his zoned-out state when Jongdae scooted closer to him.

So that Minseok could sit down with them.

Immediately, a warm, comforting hand sunk into Baekhyun’s hair, gently angling his head so that he had to look in Minseok’s eyes. They were cautious. “Everything okay, Baekhyunnie?” Jongdae also put a hand on him, gently roaming along Baekhyun’s back.

Baekhyun swallowed, mouth suddenly way too dry. “‘M fine.” He climbed to his feet, forcing their hands from him. “Just ready to get started.” He grabbed his water bottle and escaped to their tiny backstage bathroom.

He spent the next ten minutes taking deep breaths and warming up his voice.

He only emerged when he heard Heechul yelling about wanting to get out quickly today. He made brief eye contact with Jongdae before just walking onto the stage and taking his place on the bed. Jongdae’s gaze burned holes in the side of his face until Jongdae took place center stage. 

Baekhyun admittedly felt a little awakened by Jongdae’s voice when he started singing; his voice was just _so good._ But Baekhyun still went through the blocking on autopilot. He and Jongdae could do this scene in their sleep. It was almost exactly the same as what they improvised in Jongdae’s audition, only smoother, less stumbling and more finesse.

Minseok’s presence in the wings was a little unnerving, though, despite the fact he always watched from there. But today he would watch Baekhyun kiss Jongdae, and think that Baekhyun wanted that more than he wanted to kiss Minseok.

Baekhyun had really gotten himself into the biggest _clusterfuck,_ hadn’t he?

Jongdae’s clean voice vibrated in Baekhyun’s chest as Jongdae gently pushed and pushed him back until he was pressed into the prop wall. Here went nothing.

Submitting to his fate, Baekhyun merely shut his eyes the second his leg was wrapped around Jongdae’s hip. He inhaled when Jongdae’s gentle fingers slipped up his thigh, and prepared for the inevitable clash of lips, but it didn’t come. At least not how he expected.

Instead, Jongdae earnestly pressed a chaste kiss against Baekhyun’s mouth, making him hum as their barely-parted lips slid into place once, _head tilt,_ twice. Jongdae’s hands were squeezing his thigh, the side of his neck, so comfortingly that Baekhyun’s mouth opened in gratitude, happily accepting Jongdae’s tongue as it lapped inside.

Baekhyun was whimpering under his breath in seconds, almost overwhelmed by Jongdae’s gentle, _gentle_ handling of him. He was beginning to tug at Jongdae’s hair in quiet desperation, making Jongdae press closer and closer, when throats started clearing around them.

They still didn’t stop.

Jongdae was just taking Baekhyun’s bottom lip between his teeth when Heechul turned on the _Tornado Spiral_ instrumental and raised the volume to deafening levels. They both cringed where they were wrapped in each other, only managing to each cover one ear before the music was abruptly cut off.

Baekhyun made eye contact with Minseok across the stage, who only stared back, blank, uncaring.

It hurt.

Baekhyun’s mouth was wet with the taste of Jongdae, his lips stung, and his face was flaming with embarrassment and heartache. He forcefully untangled himself from Jongdae and hurried through a small gap in the set pieces, taking himself to the side of the stage no one was on today, to surround himself in the black curtains and try to breathe.

He could hear Jongdae talking onstage, loud and disruptive as he always was, but it was Kyungsoo who found him clutching the curtains in front of him, five seconds from hyperventilating.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Kyungsoo whispered, easing his hands from the curtains and turning Baekhyun to face him. “Calm down. Breathe. This isn’t like you, Baekhyun.”

“The look on Minseok’s face—“ Baekhyun shook his head. He knew if he kept talking, he would start crying, and he was tired of crying over this.

Kyungsoo cupped Baekhyun’s face in his hands. “Breathe,” he ordered. Baekhyun tried. “Baek, you’re okay. It was a kiss that went on a few seconds too long. It happens. You know that.” Baekhyun shook his head, his bottom lip trembling. “Look, you don’t have long,” Kyungsoo urged. “You fleeing looked like improvisation. Jongdae is spewing some nonsense about how you and him talked about changing up the blocking, to distract everyone I think.”

“Wh-What?”

Kyungsoo smiled, though it was hard to see in the dimness. “He’s smarter than he looks. But you have time to pretend this never happened, Baek. You just have to pull yourself together.”

Slowly, Baekhyun nodded. He sniffled. “But Minseok—Soo, I really like kissing Jongdae, but Min…”

“That’s okay,” Kyungsoo said, tapping Baekhyun’s cheeks with his thumbs. “Baekhyun, I know you love Minseok, and I’ve always thought he loves you too, but if you don’t think talking to him is worth it, or—if he makes you feel this bad about liking your co-star…” Kyungsoo sighed. “You deserve to be happy, Baekhyun. You always choose to be miserable because you love him and are too scared to tell him, so you force yourself to be alone and it’s changing you.”

“No—“

Kyungsoo shook his head. “Do you remember your nickname our freshman year here?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

 _”The Improvisation King._ You were so scarily good at improvising in any situation, not just on stage. And you were just like Jongdae. Loud and obnoxious and inappropriate.”

“Hey,” Baekhyun half-heartedly complained. But he knew Kyungsoo was right. He was never as bold as Jongdae, but they were similar in a lot of other ways.

Kyungsoo chuckled, and cautiously, he let go of Baekhyun’s face and started leading him through the curtains as he continued. “I just think...if you like kissing Jongdae, you should kiss Jongdae. He seems to care about you in his own convoluted way.” Baekhyun bit his lip. “And I know...we talked about how hard this play was going to be for you, especially with Minseok right here the whole time. It’s just hitting harder than we expected.”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun whispered. He wrapped his arms across his torso, hugging himself. “It is.”

Kyungsoo stopped, just as they reached the edge of the other side of the stage, still concealed by the back curtains. He faced Baekhyun, resting his hands on his shoulders. “Look. There’s nothing wrong with changing, with you being quieter, more reserved. But if it’s only because you’ve spent the last however many years making yourself miserable just in case he fessed up, then yeah, it’s wrong, Baek.”

Baekhyun dropped his gaze to the floor.

“This is your play, Baekhyun. _Your_ playwright debut. That’s a big deal. You should be happy and excited.”

“I know.”

“I just want you to be happy.”

Baekhyun rubbed his nose, nodding at the floor. “I know.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Soo, I think—what if they do like each other, though?” Baekhyun had briefly mentioned his theory when he had sobbed into Kyungsoo’s chest the other day. He couldn’t even remember what Kyungsoo said.

“Baek...”

“I think they do. Sometimes it feels like I’m just in the way—“

Kyungsoo’s hands slipped back onto Baekhyun’s face, pulling it up to look at him. “Hey, that sounds like you overthinking. Jongdae kissed _you,_ right?” Baekhyun shrugged, and Kyungsoo opened his mouth to say something else, but Heechul was screeching for Baekhyun to come back on stage so he and Jongdae could redo their scene. Kyungsoo sighed. “Don’t think about Minseok. Think about your play, your musical, and how good you and Jongdae are on stage together. Be _The Improvisation King,_ again. Be Jae up there, not Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun gulped, but nodded. He took a deep breath, and emerged back onto the stage.

Wanting to avoid questions as much as possible, he moved straight to the bed, sitting down and watching Jongdae move to center stage in his peripheral. Heechul’s dramatic sigh reached them, but luckily he didn’t press, only saying, “When you get to the kiss, listen for my instructions. I just wanna tweak some things.”

Baekhyun only nodded, letting Jongdae’s, “Got it, boss!” cover them both. He took one last centering breath, and on his slow exhale, he settled into _Jae._ If he didn’t think too hard about how Jae _was_ him, _was_ Baekhyun, then he could take Kyungsoo’s advice.

_Just be the character._

It took a minute, and some massive effort, but it worked. He knew it did, because it was easier to pull off the dramatics, it was easier to let himself be pulled into Jongdae’s space and be affected without actually being too affected. It was encouraging, to hear Heechul and Chanyeol’s _whoops_ and cheers when Baekhyun nailed falling to the ground without hurting himself, moving perfectly in sync with Jongdae as Jongdae crawled over him and crooned into his neck and face.

By the time they were in position for the kiss, Baekhyun was confident he could pull this off without melting down. He felt invigorated, like he was back in the swing of things, really doing what he loved, and then Heechul’s voice cut over Jongdae’s soft _oohs._

“Start off more hesitant,” he said. “You’re nervous; you’ve never kissed before. Jae’s never even considered kissing a guy before. Then let the passion take you. We need to see Jae have that bodily realization that he _wants_ to kiss Joshua.”

Baekhyun tried not to freeze up, because of course that wasn’t quite how he wrote it, but it was exactly _how it happened in real life._

The unwarranted terror must have shown on his face, because before he could even make the mistake of flicking his eyes over to Minseok, Jongdae pressed closer and whispered, “I’ve got you, Baek,” against his lips before _hesitantly_ pressing a _nervous_ kiss on his mouth.

Baekhyun manipulated his frozen terror into the moment, stiffening against Jongdae’s purposefully awkward kiss, opening his eyes wide. He had to force himself to focus when he realized how pretty Jongdae looked like this, with his softened features and long eyelashes fanning along his tan skin.

When Jongdae started to pull away, Baekhyun yanked him back in, doing his best to physically melt into Jongdae’s embrace as they transitioned into a heated kiss not dissimilar from their makeout session in Baekhyun’s bedroom. Baekhyun’s skin was immediately ablaze with pulsing desire when he parted his lips for a kiss too filthy for the stage, but no one was stopping them yet. He gently keened when Jongdae sucked on his lip, retaliated by nipping at Jongdae’s tongue.

 _”Fuck, you’re so…”_ Jongdae whispered, making Baekhyun’s heart launch in his throat.

Before things got _too_ out of hand, however, Heechul was talking to them again. “Baek, put a hand on his chest and separate him from you. Let’s see what you two staring at each other like astonished idiots while the lights fade to black looks like.”

Baekhyun willed his heartbeat to slow. _You are Jae right now. Not Baekhyun._

Baekhyun did as he was told and just barely pushed Jongdae away from him, an audible _smack_ resounding between them before they settled into shocked expressions. Heechul turned the house lights off before slowly fading the stage lights over them as well, and people cheered. Jongdae eased Baekhyun’s leg from his waist, but didn’t let him go. Baekhyun clung for dear life, clung to their characters, because it was okay for their characters to act like lovers, it was okay for their characters to kiss like it was the only thing they wanted in life.

“Okay, now you both can exit through that gap Baek escaped through before,” Heechul said. “Others can change the set. Don’t all move at once.”

Kyungsoo’s voice came over the mic, adding, “Let’s take five real quick after the set change.”

Heechul was groaning as Jongdae dragged Baekhyun through the gap in the prop walls. They were out of sight before Heechul brought the lights back up. “C’mere,” Jongdae murmured before tugging Baekhyun into his arms for a sudden hug.

Baekhyun’s arms were robotic where they wrapped around Jongdae’s torso, his chin stiff on Jongdae’s shoulder. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“Are you okay? I don’t know what happened—“

Baekhyun pulled away. “I’m fine.” He moved to turn away completely, but a gentle hand on his wrist stopped him.

“I know you think I’m just a fuckboy who’s trying to get in your pants or whatever,” Jongdae said. “It’s a defense mechanism mostly. Some people have sarcasm, I have sexual innuendos.” Baekhyun blinked down at his feet, unsure where this was going. “But I care about you, Baekhyun. I get that we haven’t known each other for very long but I hate seeing you upset—“

Baekhyun all but threw himself back into Jongdae’s arms for a much more genuine hug.

“Well that was easy— _ow!”_

Baekhyun sniffled against Jongdae’s neck, rubbing the spot on Jongdae’s back he had just pinched. “Don’t ruin the moment,” he murmured. Jongdae chuckled lowly and wrapped Baekhyun up tightly in his arms. Baekhyun squeezed his eyes shut. “I think I’m broken,” he whispered into the lingering silence between them.

Gently, Jongdae pulled back and took Baekhyun’s face in his hands. Their noses touched as Jongdae said, “I don’t think you’re broken, Baek. But it’s okay if you are.” He pressed a feather-light, almost nervous kiss on Baekhyun’s lips that Baekhyun felt in his toes.

He could hardly hear himself think over the tidal waves of affection crashing in his chest. But they were still crashing against a barely relenting wall with Minseok’s name engraved all over it. “Jongdae, I—“

Jongdae shook his head, and pulled him back into a warm hug. “I told you I care about you, didn’t I? I can be here for you if you let me.” He pressed a sweet kiss to Baekhyun’s neck. “I know your walls are still up, but I think I’m a little more familiar with them now.”

Baekhyun’s skin prickled with chills and uncertainty. It almost sounded like Jongdae was equating Baekhyun’s walls to Minseok, and Baekhyun didn’t know how to feel about Jongdae saying he was more familiar with Minseok. It was an innocent enough comment in most ways, after all.

But it could have other meanings too.

He let out a shaky breath over Jongdae’s shoulder, trying to rid himself of his cynicism in the face of Jongdae’s undying kindness. Because above all else, Jongdae had made it clear over and over again that he wasn’t going anywhere, and that he wanted to be there for Baekhyun. Whether, in the long run, he meant romantically or not, Jongdae was a _good friend,_ and someone Baekhyun absolutely didn’t want to push away simply because he couldn’t keep his ridiculous, wild feelings in check. Someone he still had so much to learn about.

“Thanks, Jongdae,” he whispered before tucking his face against Jongdae’s neck. He settled into the feeling of Jongdae’s arms coiling tighter around him.

“I’m not all bad,” was Jongdae’s response.

Baekhyun shook his head. “No, no you’re not.”

Seulgi wasn’t feeling well, so to spare her voice, they skipped over the next number, _Girl Problems,_ and moved right into rehearsing the following dialogue and the song after that, _Off the Wall._ Which meant...Baekhyun and Minseok were due on stage next. Together. Alone.

They didn't even look at each other as they waited for the lights to come up.

When they did, Baekhyun had to work hard to school his expression, running an overly exasperated hand down his face to cue the scene starting. "I don't know what everyone's staring at!" he exclaimed, and couldn't even mask the way his body shuddered when Minseok's hand slid onto the back of his neck and squeezed.

"You're the talk of the school, Jae," Minseok laughed. "Did you really think everyone was going to just ignore the way you made out with the new kid over the weekend?"

"Ignore...pretend it didn't happen...forget my existence..." Baekhyun shrugged, "Any of that would have been _fine."_

Minseok laughed again, the crinkles of his eyes igniting the deepest depths of affection in Baekhyun's soul. "How's it going with Wendy anyway?"

Baekhyun sighed and dramatically flourished a hand to where Seulgi was sitting at a different table. "You tell me, Min."

Minseok peeked around Baekhyun's shoulder at Seulgi, who promptly flipped them off. They could hear Heechul, Chanyeol, and Kyungsoo laugh. "Ouch," Minseok said.

"I asked her if we could still be friends, but..."

Minseok patted his head. "Gonna take some time, idiot."

Baekhyun whined. "It was a game! We all agreed to it!"

"Why are you still pretending that's all it was, huh?" Minseok tossed an arm around Baekhyun's neck, dragging him into a gentle chokehold. "Don't be so dense."

 _"Ah, ah, ah—_ I give!" Baekhyun cried, letting laughter slip through his words and playfully clinging to Minseok even when he released Baekhyun's neck.

"Seriously, Jae," Minseok sighed and looked down as Baekhyun cuddled into him. He pushed Baekhyun's hair from his face and said, too softly, "Why are you so dense?"

So easily, Baekhyun felt his grip on Jae slip away, stuck in the almost _hurt_ way Minseok was staring at him. The second he felt his eyes burn with the threat of tears, Baekhyun pulled away. The intensity of his feelings, of his love, hurt, guilt, shoved his next words out with a force he wasn't expecting. "Why are _you_ so dense?"

 _"Cut,_ Heechul groaned.

Much gentler, Kyungsoo said, "That's not the line, Baekhyun."

"I know." Baekhyun shook his head as if that would help clear it, jumping to his feet and shaking out his hands as well. "Let's start over."

"Yeah," Heechul agreed. "When you get back to this part, what you did with pushing Baek's hair away was good, Minseok, but make it a little more playful. You're teasing him, not confessing."

Baekhyun nearly puked right then and there.

"Got it," Minseok said, voice clipped and _so_ harsh on Baekhyun's ears. He wanted his sweet, gentle best friend back. Why did feelings and weird tension have to ruin _everything?_

Baekhyun's eyes caught Jongdae's in the wings, who immediately mimicked taking a deep breath before giving Baekhyun two thumbs up. Baekhyun subtly nodded, shutting his eyes and doing as he was told, inhaling slowly, deeply, and exhaling the same. He opened his eyes again on Jongdae's prettiest smile, and thought, for just that one second, he could take on the world.

Heechul cut the lights, shining a spotlight on center stage for Baekhyun to step into. He breezed through the last few lines of his monologue, then backed into the darkness to sit with Minseok again. The schism between them felt wider than ever, and the worst part about it was that Baekhyun still had no real idea _why._ Other than his own feelings that he figured he was projecting onto Minseok, why was Minseok _this_ stoic and out of character?

"Seriously, Jae," Minseok sighed again when they reached the part Baekhyun had messed up before. Minseok looked down at Baekhyun cuddled into him and pushed Baekhyun's hair from his face, ruffling it a bit and tugging a bit harshly and _oh-my-god-that-was-so-much-worse._ Baekhyun couldn't stop the flashbacks of dancing with Minseok and Jongdae at the club, the way Minseok had pulled his hair and immediately made Baekhyun want to submit to him when he had never submitted to anyone in his _life._ "Why are you so dense?" Minseok asked.

Baekhyun blinked, trying to clear his vision of neon disco lights and sweaty hair in his peripheral. "I-I'm not—" he stammered, which was _not_ how he needed to deliver that line, but Minseok picked up the scene on cue anyway, pushing through the flub with ease.

Baekhyun wasn't sure if he was imagining the new spark in Minseok's gaze as he squeezed his grip on Baekhyun's hair before letting go. "You _are,_ Jae. We already talked about this. There's nothing wrong with—"

"You guys talkin’ about me?" Jongdae called from the wings before walking onto the stage and joining them, standing behind them. "Join the club."

Baekhyun turned wide eyes on the room, just barely keeping his grasp on Jae. He hunched his shoulders up to convey his nerves even more, hearing Heechul snicker when he full on flinched as Jongdae clapped him on the shoulder.

“You love all this attention, don’t you?” Minseok was saying with an eye roll.

Baekhyun could feel Jongdae’s dramatic shrug. “I don’t really care if they talk. I don’t have anything to hide.”

Minseok hummed. “Well maybe cool it down. Jae’s having an existential crisis over what happened.”

Baekhyun stared blankly ahead; Jongdae and Minseok were meant to carry the three of them into the next song. “Why?” Jongdae asked.

“He’s never kissed a boy before, idiot.”

Jongdae took an audible breath to say his next line, presumably. Only when he spoke, he broke character. “Hey Heech, I’ve got an idea. Let me run it by Baek real quick.”

Heechul sighed loudly but gave them the go ahead. Baekhyun turned and blinked curiously up at Jongdae. “It’s nothing big,” Jongdae said, hand automatically caressing Baekhyun’s cheek and brushing through his hair. Baekhyun swallowed, aware that Minseok was watching them from only a foot away this time. “What if, instead of me just standing here while Minseokkie starts the song—“ _Minseokkie._ “—when I say my next line, I can come around and sort of plop onto your lap, y’know, being obnoxious. You panic and shove me onto the ground. While I’m whining about it, Minseok says his next line and starts the song.”

Baekhyun frowned. “What if I hurt you?”

Jongdae laughed, his thumb catching Baekhyun’s ear affectionately. “It’s a performance, Baekhyunnie. I’ll be okay.”

“Yah, I don’t care about you,” Baekhyun deflected, playfully shoving Jongdae away. “I’m too broke to pay for butt repair surgery.”

Jongdae’s next round of laughter echoed across the auditorium and liquified Baekhyun’s nerves. “Is that the scientific term?” Jongdae teased as Baekhyun tentatively glanced over at Minseok, whose lips were quirking up with amusement.

That was really all it took for Baekhyun’s heart to soar. He clung to that almost smile with an iron grip. “Yes, I’m a scientist,” he huffed, puffing his chest with a proud grin.

 _”I have to take this call. Take five,”_ Heechul said into the mic, but none of them acknowledged him.

“Scientists don’t perform tailbone surgery,” Minseok said, clicking his tongue.

Baekhyun scoffed. “Doctors are scientists!”

“I don’t think they call themselves scientists, though,” Jongdae said. “Just doctors.”

“What _is_ the truth?!” Baekhyun theatrically cried out, unable to stop himself from beaming when Minseok laughed, loud and cute. Baekhyun didn't even flinch when Jongdae slid his hand across Baekhyun’s shoulders, didn’t even feel jealousy churn in his gut when Jongdae squeezed Minseok’s shoulder as well. 

Something about this moment felt just right, though Baekhyun couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was as they continued to bicker and laugh. He was warm with both Jongdae and Minseok at his side, but by the time they were preparing to hop back into rehearsing, he just chalked it all up to feeling so good to be laughing with Minseok again.

“You love all this attention, don’t you?” Minseok, as Min, said, when they were back in the middle of the scene.

Baekhyun, again, could feel Jongdae’s dramatic shrug behind him. “I don’t really care if they talk. I don’t have anything to hide.”

Minseok hummed. “Well maybe cool it down. Jae’s having an existential crisis over what happened.” This time, he lifted his arm to elbow Jongdae, who whined.

Baekhyun pinched the bridge of his nose. “Why?” Jongdae asked.

“He’s never kissed a boy before, idiot.”

Jongdae gasped before rounding the seat Baekhyun was in, an arm around Baekhyun's neck as he plopped right onto his lap sideways. "Awww baby! I was your first?!"

Jongdae was warm and grounding, having him in Baekhyun's lap was _tempting,_ but on cue, Baekhyun frantically shoved Jongdae to the ground, glancing around to catch any onlookers while Jongdae loudly complained from the floor. Seulgi, improvising, got up and stormed off stage.

_"Good, Seulgi."_

Baekhyun whined, dropping his face into his hands. Minseok patted his back. "You have to approach Jae with caution. He's still processing."

Heechul turned on the next track, _Off the Wall._

Baekhyun groaned as the intro started, kicking back his chair and turning his back on the room, sinking his fingers into his hair exasperatedly. Minseok and Jongdae laughed in sync before Minseok started the opening lines.

_"Something so unimaginable,_  
_that you couldn't fathom it 'till yesterday._  
_You already know, babe you already know."_

Minseok grabbed one of Baekhyun's arms, tugging it down and forcing Baekhyun forward again, only for him to be accosted by Jongdae, who practically slithered up to him, turning them sideways for the crowd, hand sliding onto Baekhyun's jaw as he sang,

_"Let's update your daily standard,_  
_right here and right now."_

He pulled Baekhyun around the table, Minseok going around the opposite side. _"Turn it up, make it loud, turn it up."_

The full instrumental kicked in, and Jongdae dove straight into the pre-chorus, a puppeteer for Baekhyun's arms as he mimicked drawing something wide and shapeless as he sang, _"Come on, we can draw it ourselves; the space is spreading endlessly."_ Jongdae let go, only to pull Baekhyun in by the hips, hands sliding sensually up his sides, sending goosebumps rampant across Baekhyun's skin. _"What you feel...these hands that overflow with color..."_

Minseok tugged them apart, prancing around the stage hand in hand with Baekhyun for the chorus.

_"So what ya waiting for? What you waiting for?_  
_You're crossing the borderline; there's no turning back._

Jongdae merely chased after them, a delighted grin on his face. _"Out of the box,"_ he crooned. _"What ya waiting for? Anywhere, anytime, just like this..."_

Breaking free of both of them, Baekhyun ran across the stage. They stayed on his tail, right there and ready for him when he spun around, bewildered. _"This is off the wall,"_ he sang.

 _"It's alright,"_ Minseok answered.

Baekhyun repeated, _"Off the wall!"_

It was Jongdae who purred this time, _"It's alright,"_ sidling up to Baekhyun's side and smacking a kiss on his cheek before running off and laughing. They all moved back to the table they started at, and Minseok forced Baekhyun to sit in the remaining chair as Jongdae knelt next to him, kicking off the next verse. _"Trapped inside an invisible box of nonsense..."_ Jongdae mimed being trapped in a box. Baekhyun made a note to curse himself later for writing songs that somehow applied to his current life better than his past. _"You already know. Baby, you already know."_

Baekhyun turned to him. _"So you wanna do it the same as before?"_ He stood up, stomping downstage. _"If so, the answer is no."_

The number continued almost flawlessly. Most importantly, however, by the time rehearsal was over, Baekhyun was hanging from Minseok's neck in the clingiest, giddiest hug while Heechul marveled over how well they and Jongdae worked together. The weird tension between them was overshadowed with the adrenaline of performing on stage, Baekhyun knew, but he clung to it as tightly as he clung to Minseok. Maybe that would be enough to make the clouds go away permanently. Maybe it would be enough to make him forget the way Minseok couldn’t even look at him when they’d started rehearsing.

He was so happy, all he could do was laugh when Jongdae unceremoniously joined their hug, collapsing onto them as if he belonged there, planting damp kisses on each of their cheeks. Baekhyun and Minseok both giggled, and they all exchanged a round of _good job_ and _well done._

Baekhyun, with Jongdae’s lips at his ear and Minseok’s hands on his waist, would simply ride cloud nine until it dissipated.

+++

>> **studysesh:jongdae**  
 _rehearsal was AMAZING today!!_

>> **studysesh:minseok**  
_you and baek were amazing_  
_today_

>> **studysesh:jongdae**  
_YOU were amazing!!!_

 

>> **studysesh:jongdae**  
_we are ALL amazing!!_

>> **studysesh:jongdae**  
_i’m changing our gc name_

>> **musicalkings:jongdae**  
_we work so well together_

 

>> **musicalkings:jongdae**  
_the three of us_

>> **musicalkings:minseok**  
_this gc name is embarrassing :/_

>> **musicalkings:minseok**  
_but yeah i guess we do ;-;_

+++

Things weren’t _perfect_ after that, but they were _better._

The three of them continued their study sessions, continued running lines together and building a stage dynamic, while Baekhyun tried to pretend he didn’t notice that the only time he really hung out with Minseok now was when they were with Jongdae. Yet Baekhyun and Jongdae hung out by themselves all the time.

Like, _all the time._ Baekhyun knew, logically, that was probably a good excuse for him not seeing Minseok much, but it still bothered the _fuck_ out of him. They were more out of sync than they’d ever been, cancelling on their morning coffee dates more than actually going, sitting next to each other like polite strangers in class.

The only time things felt normal between them was when they were on stage, playing as different people (kind of) and when they were with Jongdae.

On the other hand, in the absence of Minseok, Baekhyun found himself drifting much closer to Jongdae.

It was inevitable, he supposed, when they had to ruthlessly rehearse such an intimate scene and had more on the way, when Jongdae was always there, a calming whisper in the storm, a beacon in a sea of darkness and loneliness. Baekhyun knew better than to reach for the light, than to let himself be teased by something he couldn’t really have, but their dynamic shifted anyway. Suddenly it was almost November, they had finished working on the first act of the musical, and Jongdae’s persistence transformed into secret smiles, fleeting touches, and mutual flirting.

After everything, however, after all of the touching and flirting and sexual innuendos and their “practice” kisses...after everything, Jongdae was still a mystery to Baekhyun.

Until, suddenly, he wasn’t. Not really.

It was excruciatingly late one night, when Baekhyun and Jongdae had been cooped up in a study room in the library for _hours._ Minseok was supposed to be with them, but had been called into work a couple of hours before their meet-up time, leaving Baekhyun and Jongdae alone with a simple _Study well!_ text message.

Baekhyun, admittedly, assumed that meant they would _not_ study well, instead opting to goof off and procrastinate without Minseok to mediate, as that was the dynamic they had settled into. Only when Baekhyun stumbled into their designated study room of choice, Jongdae was already buried deep in his homework, utterly surrounded by books and notebooks and his laptop. Baekhyun almost frowned, but Jongdae quickly flashed him a quick, pretty smile, and Baekhyun’s curiosity was swept under the rug in an instant.

“Hiya,” he said, cheeky as he plopped into a chair across from Jongdae. He only gasped a little when Jongdae’s feet automatically slid against his. “Looks like you’re already neck-deep.”

Jongdae hummed, acknowledging Baekhyun more with his affectionate feet than with...any other part of him. “I’m really behind on homework,” Jongdae muttered, which was valid enough, so Baekhyun dropped it, only giving Jongdae one more curious glance before unloading his own backpack.

It was when one, two, three hours passed and Jongdae had hardly uttered a word that Baekhyun knew something was wrong. “Hey…” Baekhyun gently said, nudging Jongdae’s ankle. Jongdae blinked up at him, fuzzy, tired, a million miles away. “Everything okay?”

Jongdae’s lips lazily quirked up on one side as he shrugged. “Fine. Why?”

Baekhyun opened his mouth to say, _you’re just so quiet,_ before stopping himself. Jongdae was allowed to be quiet. There was nothing wrong with being quiet, Baekhyun knew that, but it was something else, too. Something he couldn’t quite pinpoint. “You just seem…”

Jongdae shook his head, chuckling. “I’m fine, Baekhyun.”

But another hour, two passed and all Baekhyun could think about was how Jongdae rarely ever called him by just his plain old name, how Jongdae never missed an opportunity to tease Baekhyun, fluster him, to stick his nose into whatever Baekhyun was studying and ask him endless questions about it. Something was _wrong._

By the time they reached three in the morning, Jongdae grew restless, fidgeting with paper around him, his pen, his phone, huffing at nothing, sighing at nothing.

Concern reaching an all-time high, Baekhyun cautiously reached across the table and took Jongdae’s hand in his. “Dae…” he whispered, as if anything louder would shatter him. Jongdae’s eyes snapped up to meet his, not only fuzzy, still, but anxious, exhausted. “Why don’t we call it a night? You should get some sl—”

“No, I can go a little longer. I can finish this report tonight. I…”

Jongdae trailed off when Baekhyun held his hand a little tighter. “The report’ll still be there when you wake up. When is it due?”

“Um...in two weeks.”

Baekhyun blinked. “What…”

Jongdae shrugged and scratched the back of his neck with his free hand. “I caught up on my homework a couple of hours ago, I think. I’ve been working on new stuff since then.”

“Yep, time for bed.” Baekhyun shook his head but chuckled, stroking Jongdae’s knuckles with his thumb once before standing up and stretching his arms over his head. But when he settled back down, Jongdae hadn’t budged.

“You wanna get something to eat?” Jongdae asked, trying for light and really just ending up somewhere around desperate.

Baekhyun frowned. “I’m always down for food but...you look like you’ll pass out at any second now. We should both get some sleep.” He walked around the table as if that would help him understand Jongdae more, being closer to him.

“We could just stop in at the diner. Grab something real quick…”

Baekhyun’s frown only deepened, and before he could stop himself, he was tilting Jongdae’s face up to get a better look at his sunken eyes. He swept his thumbs along Jongdae’s cheeks, and _something_ in his expression resonated deeply in Baekhyun. “Let’s pack our things up,” he murmured, instead of outright agreeing to a 3 a.m. diner visit. It wasn’t that he was totally opposed to the idea, but he was more concerned about getting Jongdae into a bed than anything.

Regardless of whose bed that was.

“Are you kidnapping me?” Jongdae half-heartedly teased when they were maybe two minutes from arriving at Baekhyun’s apartment. Baekhyun just hadn’t told him that’s where they were going, but the diner was in the opposite direction, so Jongdae could put that much together.

They were holding hands as they walked, and Baekhyun squeezed Jongdae’s fingers. If it were any other time, if he wasn’t drowning in worry, he maybe would have blushed over the casual display of affection, questioned what it meant, but tonight he had simply grasped Jongdae’s hand to keep him from floating away with the wind. “Kinda,” he finally answered.

Jongdae hummed. “Well there’s no one I’d rather be kidnapped by, I guess.”

 _Now,_ Baekhyun blushed, laughing at the ground as he said, “You’re sweet. In the weirdest way.”

“Thank you.”

Baekhyun laughed again, tugging Jongdae a little closer in the chilly, autumn breeze.

“Oh,” Jongdae said when they approached the apartment building. “This is your place.”

“Glad to see your observation skills aren’t completely failing you.”

“Shut up,” Jongdae laughed a little, not quite there, but it was a laugh nonetheless. “Do you have food?”

Baekhyun slid his keycard into the designated slot to get into the building, frowning as he asked, “Are you really that hungry?”

Jongdae’s gaze fell to the ground, and he couldn’t hide the discomfort, maybe pain, on his face with the light from the lobby streaming on him as they walked inside. “No,” he muttered.

Baekhyun pulled him close again. “Come on, Dae.”

Neither of them said anything else during the trek upstairs, or even once their shoes were off and their backpacks deposited by the front door. They were getting water in the kitchen when Jongdae spoke up again. “Are you asking me to stay the night?”

Baekhyun chewed on his lip, considering his next words carefully. “I just thought that...maybe you don’t wanna talk about whatever’s bothering you, but maybe you don’t wanna be alone either. And that’s okay. I...I get that. I completely understand. You’re welcome here, as long as you’d like.”

Jongdae, terrifyingly, looked as if he might cry for a moment, but he quickly regained his composure, taking Baekhyun’s water from him to set their glasses on the counter. With their hands free, Jongdae pulled Baekhyun into a warm hug, sniffling against his ear. “Thank you, Baek.”

“This friendship isn’t a one-way street, you know,” Baekhyun whispered back, because it wasn’t. He could be there for Jongdae as much as Jongdae wanted to be for him. Even if calling themselves friends tasted a little weird on his tongue.

Jongdae sniffled again, pressing his lips against Baekhyun’s cheek. “I know.”

"Come on," Baekhyun said, squeezing Jongdae one last time. "I'll get you some clothes to sleep in." Jongdae nodded, slipping one hand into Baekhyun's as they pulled away from each other, and wiping his nose with the other, letting Baekhyun lead the way.

They both stopped dead in their tracks when they entered Baekhyun's room and found a glorified lump curled up on the bed.

Baekhyun blinked. "...Minseok?"

Immediately, the lump stirred and Baekhyun cautioned forward, only letting go of Jongdae's hand when they were too far apart to reach. He sat on the edge of the bed, gently rubbing Minseok's shoulder. "Hey, Min..." Baekhyun had no idea why Minseok was there, and found his concern for Jongdae doubled with new worry for Minseok. Minseok rarely showed up unannounced, especially since Baekhyun had moved out of his mom's house.

After a moment, Minseok picked up his head, blinking groggily up at Baekhyun. Baekhyun immediately moved his hand to smooth down some of Minseok's hair, hand lingering along the warm skin of Minseok's cheek. "Hey..." Minseok rasped. "What time is it?"

Jongdae walked up, a solid wall of warmth behind Baekhyun. "Three-thirty or so," he answered for Baekhyun. Minseok's sleepy gaze shot up to look at him, and Baekhyun let his hand fall away, moving back to Minseok's shoulder.

Baekhyun wasn't sure if Minseok's surprise was because of the time or because of Jongdae's presence. "Oh, it's...late," Minseok said lamely. "I should—”

"Hey..." Baekhyun murmured. "Is everything okay? What are you doing here?"

Minseok cleared his throat and sat up. "I don't want to impose on you guys."

Jongdae squeezed Baekhyun's shoulder. "I'm gonna freshen up real quick." Baekhyun only nodded, otherwise focused wholly on Minseok.

"You're never imposing on me, Minseok. Ever," he said.

Minseok hummed, rubbing at his eyes. "You guys are just getting in? Did you go for drinks?"

"No, we literally just walked back from the library." Minseok's sudden, incredulous look made Baekhyun laugh. "Seriously. I've never studied for so long in my life."

Minseok laughed too, and some of his sharp edges melted away. "What brought on such studiousness?"

At that, Baekhyun felt his smile morph right into a frown, which in turn, made Minseok's do the same. Baekhyun lowered his voice as he said, "Something...Jongdae is really upset. I don't know why, but I've never...seen him this way." Minseok made a confused, concerned noise. "It took me a while to realize he was stalling. It was 3 a.m. and he was working on reports due weeks from now, forcing himself to stay awake."

"That's..." Minseok tried. "And you don't know why?"

Baekhyun shook his head. "Overall, I just really got the impression that he didn't need or want to be alone, so I dragged him here and offered him a place to crash." Vaguely, Baekhyun noticed the way the tips of their fingers brushed on the bed, like they were begging to hold each other. Promptly, Baekhyun ignored the swell of butterflies in his belly. "And here we are. But you...?"

"Ah..." Minseok glanced down at his lap. "Work really only needed me for a few hours, and I didn't think you'd study for so long. I thought we could watch a movie or something. I guess I fell asleep."

"Oh..."

"I just wanted to see you." Minseok shrugged, a little shy, almost. Baekhyun wondered if Minseok could see his heart swelling inside his chest, or hear the thundering flutter of a million butterfly wings in his stomach. "But..." Minseok broke him from his warm-hearted reverie. "I don't want to get in the way. I should..."

Baekhyun slid his fingers until they tangled with Minseok's. "Stay?" For a moment, they merely stared into each other's eyes, until Minseok was blinking rapidly, like he was shaking himself from the moment.

"That should...really be up to Jongdae, shouldn't it?"

"Stay," Jongdae's low voice murmured from the doorway of the bathroom. Baekhyun peered over his shoulder. Jongdae looked a little more awake now, a little less wired. "If you want. I think...I think you both should know about...today. About me."

Baekhyun and Minseok glanced at each other before nodding. "I'll get some clothes for you both, then," Baekhyun said, climbing to his feet and briefly mourning the loss of Minseok's warm hand.

"Could I borrow your shower, maybe?" Jongdae asked. "I'll be quick."

"Yeah, of course." Baekhyun hurried over to his drawers, digging out some sweatpants and t-shirts. He handed one of each to Jongdae with a small, encouraging smile. When Jongdae closed himself back in the bathroom, Baekhyun handed another set to Minseok. "Do you...want some water or anything?" he asked. "Something to eat? It seems like we'll be up for a while."

Minseok shook his head. "I'm okay. Thank you, Baekhyun."

Baekhyun nodded, rocking onto his toes for a moment. "I'm just gonna go grab the glasses of water we fixed when we came in, 'kay?" Then Minseok nodded, and Baekhyun dropped the third and last set of clothes and slipped out of the room.

He took slow steps and deep breaths as he headed for the kitchen and back, trying to calm his nerves, quell his burning feelings. But it was all for naught when he walked back into his room and felt his jaw go slack, mouth go dry as he took in the sight of Minseok unbuttoning the last button on his white work shirt. Smooth, tan expanse of chest, and his always-impressive fucking _washboard abs_ were on full display once the shirt swung open, and it wasn't like Baekhyun had never seen it before, but _fuck,_ it never got old. He was also particularly vulnerable lately, but that was beside the point. Mostly.

Averting his gaze just as Minseok looked up, Baekhyun cleared his throat and slid past him to set one glass of water on his nightstand, chugging half of the other in one go, desperate to drown out the sound of the zipper on Minseok's pants. 

Baekhyun swept up his own sleep clothes from where he’d left them, keeping his eyes literally anywhere else as he changed out of his pants first. He tried not to visibly shudder as heat crawled up his back with the feeling of being watched as he stumbled to change shirts.

He took another sip of water before clearing his throat and gingerly sitting on the center of the bed, legs folded in front of him. He patted the space next to him and finally looked at Minseok, who was still in the same place he’d been changing, just staring. Baekhyun scratched at his neck nervously, right where Minseok had left his mark so many weeks ago. It wasn’t intentional, but Minseok’s gaze sharply cut down to it anyway.

Baekhyun moved the scratching to his ear in an attempt to casually deflect. Around his dry mouth, he said, “Hand me my phone, would you? I wanna show you this video on Twitter…”

And the tension was gone.

Jongdae found them with their backs against the wall, curled up together and sleepily giggling over videos on social media. “Hey,” Baekhyun said when he saw him. He yawned into his hand. “How was your shower?”

“Good,” Jongdae answered sincerely, rubbing a towel over his hair as he sat on the edge of the bed. “I feel a little better.”

Baekhyun beamed, but it was Minseok who said, “Good,” with the same energy Baekhyun felt.

Baekhyun cleared his throat, picking up his head from Minseok’s shoulder. “Well...you two can have the bed. While you get settled, I’ll go set up my bed on the couch and then we can t—“

“Your bed is big enough for all three of us,” Jongdae interrupted, a deep frown cutting into his face. Baekhyun froze. “Just stay here with us.”

“Uh, I don’t...know…”

Baekhyun glanced at Minseok, who shrugged. “No use in you getting poor sleep on that shitty couch when you’d be perfectly fine right here.”

It was a little hard to breathe with just the mere idea of it in his head, but Baekhyun found himself nodding, just once, and uttering a small, “Okay.”

As if they were on the same wavelength, Minseok turned the lamp next to the bed on while Jongdae went to turn the ceiling light off, and all Baekhyun could do was watch, wait. It didn’t even occur to him to move until Minseok was grabbing Jongdae’s hand and pulling him onto the bed between them, and then Baekhyun frantically pushed himself all the way up against the wall to get out of the way.

He was stiff, unsure, and he didn’t quite know why other than maybe, maybe because it wasn’t often he shared his bed with someone other than a lover, not since the infamous Minseok kiss when he was sixteen years old. And this wasn’t only Minseok, but _Jongdae also,_ and he knew, deep down Baekhyun knew he had feelings for both of them and that wasn’t _allowed._ He couldn’t put himself through that again. And to have both of them in his bed...to _be_ with both of them in his bed…

A soft, warm touch stirred him from his spiral, and Baekhyun blinked through the growing vignette in his eyes to see Minseok propped on his elbow and reaching across Jongdae, concern etched into his stupidly perfect face. “Hey,” Minseok murmured. “Where’d you go?”

Baekhyun found his gaze drawn to where Jongdae was dazedly picking at Minseok’s shirt, like he just wanted to be close to him. And they _were_ close, bodies pressed together while Baekhyun was a hundred miles away from them. He steeled himself. _Get over it, Byun._ “Nowhere,” he finally answered with a hesitant smile. “I’m right here.”

Briefly, Minseok ran his thumb along Baekhyun’s cheek, and Baekhyun’s eyelashes fluttered in immediate response. “You must be tired,” Minseok murmured, and Baekhyun nodded as he subtly pressed into Minseok’s hand. “I imagine it’s been a long night for both of you.”

Slowly, Baekhyun’s eyes opened again to trail their gaze down to Jongdae, who was watching him. “Yeah,” Baekhyun whispered. As Minseok’s hand left him, Baekhyun’s hand touched Jongdae’s cheek. Jongdae was pulling him closer, closing the hundred mile schism. “Talk to us, Dae,” he continued to whisper as he settled on his side and Jongdae grasped for his hand, and then Minseok’s.

“It’s not…” Jongdae furrowed his eyebrows at the ceiling. “I won’t keep you guys up long. It’s not some long story, I just…”

“It’s okay,” Baekhyun said at the same time Minseok said, “Take your time.”

Jongdae seemed to soften a bit, to offer the ghost of a smile, and Baekhyun squeezed his hand in encouragement. Eventually, Jongdae’s smile faded, and his eyes drifted to another time, another place. “I guess the long story short is that...when I was ten, my mom died. The only family I had. And today is the anniversary of that day.”

“Oh, Dae…” Baekhyun started, but Jongdae shook his head, squeezed his hand. Minseok propped himself on his elbow again, running his fingers through Jongdae’s hair with his free hand.

“It’s really…” Jongdae sighed. “I’m 22. Twelve years is a long time to accept something like that. It’s just more everything today reminds me of. All the shit I went through because I had no one.”

Baekhyun scooted until he was close enough to press his chin into Jongdae’s shoulder, and Jongdae continued, “I was tossed around foster homes for so many years. No one wanted to keep me because at first I wouldn’t eat, and was a liability, and then when I started feeling like myself again, I was too loud and singing ended up being against the rules in every house. It was the only way I knew how to...drown out the voices in my head telling me no one loved me—“

When Jongdae broke off with a sudden, choked sob, Baekhyun surged forward, all but throwing himself on Jongdae to hug him, hold him, to tuck his face in Jongdae’s neck and try not to cry himself. Baekhyun knew the hand suddenly in his hair was Minseok’s, and he knew Minseok knew exactly what Baekhyun was thinking. Baekhyun had been through thoughts like those before, when his father died. His mom was so depressed, his brother so stressed, and Baekhyun wouldn’t eat, Baekhyun was too loud, _stop singing, Baekhyun._ He was only eight, and thought no one loved him. No one but Minseok.

Jongdae didn’t have that luxury, to get to have the realization that his family _did_ love him, because he had no one else. He didn’t have a Minseok to hold him and tell him he was being silly.

“Baekhyunnie…” Minseok gently started. “...went through similar feelings when we were kids, when his dad passed away. It took such a large toll on him. I can only imagine…”

Jongdae wrapped his arms around Baekhyun, holding him tightly. It seemed to ease the tremble of Jongdae’s quiet crying, at the very least.

It was a long moment before anyone said anything else, while Jongdae clearly tried to pull himself together and stop crying, and Baekhyun tried much the same, pressing soft, hopefully-comforting kisses to Jongdae’s neck in between sniffles.

Jongdae took a deep breath. “I made good friends through all of that, just...never had time to really connect with people. Like you guys. I don’t have any life-long friends like you are for each other.”

With one last sniffle, Baekhyun pulled back enough to prop his chin on Jongdae’s chest and watch as Minseok wiped Jongdae’s tears away. Jongdae continued, “Someone finally wanted to adopt me when I was seventeen—Maria—but I think she just saw a giant dollar sign when she looked at me. I was already almost eighteen, she didn’t have to pay for college, and I guess she actually thought I was a good singer, because she thought I’d get famous or something, I think.”

Baekhyun frowned. “Did she treat you okay, at least? Does she…?”

Jongdae kept one arm secure around Baekhyun, but used his other to prop his head up. His answering smile was weak at best. “Not really. She isn’t physically abusive, but verbally? Yeah, she’s got a mouth on her. Took all my money from my part-time jobs up until...now, wouldn’t let me have friends or my girlfriend over, even to study. Even when I was in college.”

“Jesus.”

“I’m pretty sure she scared several of my friends and girlfriend away, honestly. Threatened them, maybe.”

“That’s terrible,” Minseok muttered.

Baekhyun reached up to catch a stray tear on Jongdae’s cheek. “Is that why you came here? When we met, you said…”

Jongdae nodded. “I just wanted to get as far away from her as I could.” He sighed. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful I ended up with her instead of some of the other, worse ones, but…”

“You don’t have to do that,” Baekhyun said. “You don’t have to feel bad for _wanting_ to get away from her if she’s awful.”

“I know,” Jongdae whispered, and Baekhyun could see the pain in his eyes clear as day, knew Jongdae wasn’t telling them the worst of it. “I’m sorry I’m dumping all of this on you guys. I just...am never myself this time of year.”

“Don’t apologize,” Minseok said, back to petting Jongdae’s hair. “You can talk to us about anything, anytime.”

Jongdae’s smile this time was much more genuine, soft though it was. “I know,” he murmured, and the three of them fell into a relatively comfortable silence, cuddled together, consoling each other.

“Is that...everything you wanted to talk about?” Baekhyun eventually asked, cautious.

Jongdae blinked a few times. “I guess.”

“Why can’t you...why were you trying to keep yourself awake?” Jongdae froze, and Baekhyun had never regretted saying something more when Jongdae’s eyes immediately welled up with tears. Baekhyun shot up, half sitting up, half straddling Jongdae’s lap just so he could take Jongdae’s face in his hands. “No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—“

Jongdae’s squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “No it’s—“ He took a long, deep breath. “It’s okay. I just—have nightmares I guess. About some of the houses I stayed in before Maria. I only ever really have them this week.”

Baekhyun’s heart sank and a quick glance over at Minseok showed a similar expression. “Jongdae…”

“I don’t want to talk about that,” Jongdae whispered, eyes pleading with Baekhyun. “It’s really not as bad as it sounds, the nightmares are just—vivid. And they...make me think for a minute that I never made it out. They—“ His breath shuddered between his lips. “They erase the person I’ve become, and I like who I am now. I don’t wanna go back…”

“You won’t,” Baekhyun swore. “Not ever. We won’t let you.”

“You…” Minseok started, and he and Baekhyun looked at each other briefly, the same determined expressions on each of their faces.

Baekhyun finished for him, “You have us now.”

Jongdae’s bottom lip trembled as he glanced between them both, but after a moment, he nodded and squeezed his eyes shut, letting the rest of his tears fall. Baekhyun and Minseok did their best to catch them.

It took a while, but they eventually convinced Jongdae that he needed at least a little sleep, that he would be safe right there between them, and that they wouldn’t go anywhere until he woke up. Jongdae’s eyes were already drooping by the time the three of them got settled under the covers, but Baekhyun turned on Netflix for some white noise anyway. Just in case.

The thought was pointless, though, when Jongdae now seemed determined to sleep, like he had something to prove to his nightmares. He turned onto his side, facing Baekhyun, taking Baekhyun’s hand in his and hugging it to his chest. Baekhyun kept his eyes trained on Jongdae’s exhausted face, trying not to show his surprise or avert his gaze when Minseok scooted in and wrapped a secure arm around Jongdae from behind, carefully spooning him.

Jongdae didn’t hide _his_ surprise, eyes widening for a quick moment. But it passed, and instead of questioning it, he settled into it, letting go of Baekhyun’s hand to pull Minseok’s up, to cradle it to his chest instead. Baekhyun tried to ignore the sting in his chest, but before he could even process the feeling, Jongdae was grabbing his hand again, just like before, using them to pin Minseok’s hand against Jongdae’s chest.

Minseok hummed as Jongdae’s eyes slid shut. He eased his hand out from its trap only to move it around, using it to cradle Jongdae and Baekhyun’s hands instead, his fingers just barely sliding into place against theirs, like it was possible for three people to hold hands at once. Maybe it sort of was.

Baekhyun couldn’t contain his wide eyes as he watched Minseok pick his head up, watched Minseok place a comforting, sweet kiss to Jongdae’s neck, making Jongdae sigh happily. Minseok then lightly propped his chin where he left his kiss, tired eyes trained on Baekhyun.

“You’re so brave, Baekhyunnie,” he whispered. “And so, so loved.”

Baekhyun shut his eyes to hide the sudden well of tears and shook his head. He hated himself for hearing those words, and immediately thinking, _but not loved in the way I want to be._

He heard Minseok sigh, and felt Minseok wipe some stray tears from his cheeks, but they didn’t say anything else, and Baekhyun didn’t dare open his eyes again for fear of seeing whatever expression was waiting for him.

He was the last one to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are always, always appreciated! :D you can find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/baekville).


	3. Gentleman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun is more confused than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 3 = approx. 14k words

>> **musicalkings:jongdae  
** _ ily guys _

>> **musicalkings:jongdae  
** _ thanks for being there for me _

>> **musicalkings:jongdae  
** _ <3 _

  
  


**+++**

  
  


By the time a couple of busy weeks passed, things changed, shifted, something in Baekhyun.

Maybe it was knowing more about Jongdae, now, maybe it was the sudden rush of admiration Baekhyun felt every time he looked at Jongdae, the pride at how much he’d overcome, but it was easier now to accept Jongdae’s affections than ever. And it didn’t seem to only be Baekhyun. Minseok was less tense around them, more likely to jump in to their conversations or antics regardless of Jongdae holding Baekhyun’s hand, or Jongdae dragging Baekhyun onto his lap.

Because apparently  _ that  _ was a thing now.

They were all having a night out at the bowling alley—Baekhyun, his roommates, Jongdae, Minseok, and various people working on the musical—after a grueling rehearsal session. They’d all agreed per Heechul’s request to meet up on a Saturday to run through and polish the first act multiple times, to run through what they’d blocked of the second act, and to block the next musical number. Rehearsal had run all day, and as much as they all loved the musical and had fun working together, they were drained and stressed and needed an outlet.

After requesting the three lanes all the way at the end and out of the way of any families and kids, they broke off into groups, settled into their overcrowded lanes, and set off few by few to buy alcohol and order food. Baekhyun and Minseok were on digital jukebox duty while Jongdae got them beers and a basket of cheese fries to share.

“I’m glad you came,” Baekhyun found himself muttering when a rowdy group of teenagers cheered at the top of their lungs and Minseok sleepily pressed himself against Baekhyun’s side, like he was trying to burrow away from the sound.

Minseok huffed, rubbing his eye. “Of course I did.”

Baekhyun dragged a song onto their playlist before frowning at him. “I know you would’ve preferred going home.”

“Don’t I look excited to be here?” Minseok flashed an exaggerated grin, but it melted into a chuckle when Baekhyun frowned harder.

“Min…”

“Oh, stop, Baekhyun.” Minseok reached up to pinch Baekhyun’s cheek. “I wanted to spend time with you and Jongdae.” Baekhyun blinked. Minseok blinked. “And...Kyungsoo, and everyone else.”

“Oh…” Baekhyun responded, for lack of anything more intelligent to say. He really was exhausted if his brain was short-circuiting enough to think Minseok could have meant something more than he said.

“Let me pick a song,” Minseok murmured, busying himself with the screen of the jukebox while Baekhyun silently marveled over the way it looked like Minseok’s cheeks were flushed.

He ended up letting Minseok pick the rest of the songs, choosing instead to wrap his arms around Minseok’s shoulders from the side and press their heads together, doing his absolute best to snuggle Minseok standing up. Baekhyun didn’t even pick his head up when Jongdae shouted their names across the bowling alley, letting Minseok finish up the playlist and sighing when he had to let go so they could walk back.

Baekhyun automatically pouted when they reached the table for their lane to see only one chair left unoccupied; Chanyeol and Kyungsoo shared one, Taeyeon was in one, and Jongdae in the other. Without hesitation, Baekhyun motioned for the empty chair and told Minseok to sit, who only paused briefly before nodding and saying, “Thank you, Baekhyunnie.”

Nodding back, Baekhyun plucked one of the three beer bottles in front of Jongdae from the table and took a swig, trying not to show his distaste for it before he said, “Isn’t that against your PDA rules, Kyungsoo?” He gestured vaguely at them, almost feeling like he’d stepped into another dimension seeing Kyungsoo sitting on Chanyeol’s lap in  _ public. _

Kyungsoo glared at him, likely for drawing attention to the position in question. “I don’t have PDA rules.”

Baekhyun tried not to laugh at the way Chanyeol squinted behind Kyungsoo, and Taeyeon said, “You definitely have unspoken PDA rules.”

“What do you guys know, huh?” Right on cue, Chanyeol kissed Kyungsoo’s neck, and Kyungsoo immediately retaliated by elbowing him in the chest. Everyone burst out laughing, only laughing harder when Kyungsoo’s cheeks reddened and he muttered under his breath.

In the midst of the chaos, Jongdae gently wrapped his hand around Baekhyun’s wrist and tugged Baekhyun down onto his lap. Baekhyun hiccupped when his laughter stopped short, and he scooted over until he was balancing on only one of Jongdae’s thighs so he could turn wide eyes on him. “I was fine,” Baekhyun whispered.

But Jongdae shook his head, hands sliding onto Baekhyun’s waist and sending tremors through his veins. “You’re exhausted.”

“I’m—oh.” Baekhyun’s gaze flicked up to Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, who suddenly appeared to be deep into an intimate makeout session, Kyungsoo curled up on Chanyeol’s lap and hand sunken into his hair. Baekhyun swallowed, simultaneously aware of how badly he wanted to kiss someone like that, and how he’d kissed three people at this table. Two of them were  _ today, _ via rehearsing, but it wasn’t enough. Baekhyun wasn’t satisfied, and never would be because he could never have—

Jongdae pressed his mouth into Baekhyun’s shoulder. “They certainly have the right idea,” he muttered.

Heat rushed to Baekhyun’s face, and he slid a hand onto Jongdae’s thigh only to pinch it. He locked gazes with Taeyeon across the table, who wiggled her eyebrows at him, and he didn’t dare look at Minseok. 

The night carried on, and eventually the weird tension in the air dissipated. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol stopped making out, and Baekhyun got used to the routine of taking the chair every time it was Jongdae’s turn, then plopping onto Jongdae’s lap every time he came back from his own turn. He didn’t know if the exhaustion or the beer helped more, but he knew the warmth he felt in his entire body was solely because of Jongdae. The way Jongdae held him, hugged him, whispered things in his ear to make him laugh. It was more intoxicating than the beers they shared.

Minseok was quiet for most of the night, but he laughed when everyone else laughed, and even helped when Jongdae made a game of trying to feed Baekhyun fries without seeing his face, laughing loudly and directing Jongdae to go left or right when he inevitably missed and got cheese on Baekhyun’s cheek.

It was at the end of that game that Baekhyun dismissed himself to the bathroom, because his face felt greasy and gross, but he giggled the whole way there, happy, in that moment, to his very core.

He was just splashing warm water on his face when Minseok joined him, taking residence at the next sink to wash his hands. Baekhyun beamed at him. “Minseokkieee,” he sang.

Minseok scoffed but couldn’t hide the way his playful scowl cracked into a small smile. “Baekhyunnie.” He glanced at Baekhyun and paused, then stepped closer. “You’ve still got…” he muttered, but didn’t finish his sentence. Instead, he gently reached up and pressed his thumb into Baekhyun’s cheek, slowly wiping what must have been a glob of cheese away.

The touch made Baekhyun’s breath stutter through his lips, which was audible enough to make Minseok glance down, and suddenly the room was a lot hotter than it should have been. His own eyes flicked down to Minseok’s lips, and he could feel them both leaning closer to each other, breathing in each other’s air, sharing each other’s heat.

But when Baekhyun’s exhausted feet made the final step to close to the distance between them without consulting Baekhyun first, Minseok murmured, “Jongdae makes you really happy.”

Baekhyun blinked away the haze that had fallen over him and took a sudden step back, as if Minseok’s words had physically pushed him. “What?”

Minseok’s eyebrows were drawn together when he turned back to the sink, taking great care to slowly wash the cheese from his thumb. “He makes you so happy, Baekhyun. Jongdae is so...so good for you.”

Dread flooded Baekhyun’s veins. “Min—“

“I’m trying to do that best friend thing, where I give you my approval.” Minseok laughed, but the sound was strained, maybe forced. Baekhyun was dizzy. “He’s perfect for you, and I’m really happy you’ve found each other.”

Baekhyun hid the way his eyes flooded with tears by splashing his face with water again, and again. “Thanks, Minseok,” he whispered, because it was the best he could do while he was forcing himself not to cry. “We’re not…”

“You will be, though, right?” There was that strained laugh again. “You haven’t looked this happy in a long time. He’s good for you.”

_ You’re good for me.  _ Baekhyun splashed water on his face again. “Maybe.”

Gently, Minseok stepped closer and sank his fingers into Baekhyun’s hair, leaning up to press a kiss to his head. “I love you, Baekhyunnie. I just want you to be happy.”

And then he was gone.

Baekhyun locked himself in a stall until the waterfalls of guilt stopped pouring from his eyes.

  
  


**+++**

  
  


_ ”My dear diamond, diamond crystal…” _

The lights faded into one single spotlight over Baekhyun. He watched, through the sorrowful tears filling his eyes, as Taeyeon slowly walked away from him, his hand pitifully reaching out for her.

When she was gone, Baekhyun dropped his face into his hands, trying to get his  _ real _ emotions in check yet keep his character’s emotions believable. They’d just finished the scene depicting his and Suzy’s breakup, and it never really got any easier.

Especially now that it was happening again.

A hand gently squeezed his shoulder from behind, and as planned, Baekhyun turned around and crumpled into Minseok’s arms, quietly sobbing into his neck.

_ ”Good!” _ Heechul said, sounding entirely too excited for the very real tears Baekhyun was shedding against Minseok’s skin.

As soon as the lights faded, Minseok hurried them toward the wings, taking Baekhyun’s face in his hands. Jongdae wasn’t far behind. “Baekhyun…” Minseok murmured. “Baek, look at me. What’s wrong?”

Baekhyun shook his head. “I’m fine.” He was, except for the invisible Minseok-shaped-hand squeezing his heart.

“Baekhyun?” Jongdae’s gentle, low voice cut between them. “Hey...what is it?” He pressed his thumb just above Minseok’s hand, catching tears, wiping them away.

Bottom lip trembling, Baekhyun glanced back and forth, back and forth between their equally concerned, equally caring faces. It was too much to have them both looking at him like that, to have them both touching him so tenderly, speaking to him so gently.

He couldn’t muster up any words before Minseok said, “It’s Suzy, right? That scene is about her.”

A dam inside Baekhyun burst open, just like that. “Excuse me,” he just barely managed to wheeze before pulling from their grasps and away from them, hurrying deeper backstage, beelining for the bathroom in the very back.

“Hyun...” Taeyeon sighed, but didn’t say anything else. She knew to expect this. Baekhyun had told her it would be an emotional scene for him, but back then, he had no idea he’d be facing something so similar now. He had no idea he would feel so strongly for Jongdae, while still feeling such a deep-rooted love and affection for Minseok.

Taeyeon squeezed his hand as he passed, and it only made him let out a quiet sob. Just before he closed the door on himself, he heard her say, “Give him a minute, guys. Seriously,” and he’d never liked her more.

It really was only a moment he needed, a moment away from the almost overstimulation he felt when Minseok and Jongdae both paid such close attention to him at once. It seemed to have been happening more lately—oddly enough, since Minseok gave his approval in the bathroom at the bowling alley—and to say Baekhyun was becoming increasingly more overwhelmed by the day would be an understatement. To add that feeling on top of reliving his breakup with Suzy was just unbearable.

By the time his tears dried and he was splashing cold water on his face to try and alleviate some of the redness, there was a knock on the door. “One sec,” he said in the most stable voice he could offer.

_ “Baek,” _ Kyungsoo’s muffled voice answered.  _ “Let me in.” _

Sighing, Baekhyun trudged over to the door and opened it just enough for Kyungsoo to slip through. “I’m fine,” Baekhyun automatically said.

“You’re not,” Kyungsoo muttered, taking a seat on the toilet and staring at Baekhyun evenly.

Baekhyun huffed. “Really, Soo—”

“What happened? Crying for Suzy, I get that, but the way you reacted to Minseok and Jongdae…”

“Soo…” Baekhyun shook his head.

“I think you hurt their feelings a little. Especially when Taeyeon wouldn’t let them through.”

Baekhyun’s heart sank. “I didn’t tell her to do that.”

“I know. She was just looking out for you. It’s what we’re all trying to do. We all care about you, Baekhyun.”

“I literally just stopped crying, goddammit,” Baekhyun muttered, pressing the palms of his hands against his eyes too harshly, but he didn’t care. “It’s just...doing that scene reminded me that it’s happening all over again.”

“What’s happening again?”

“Falling for someone else while I still love Minseok.”

Kyungsoo sighed. “Baek, we’ve talked about this—”

“I know.” Baekhyun cleared his throat and rubbed his eyes for good measure before dropping his hands. “I know, and I’ve been doing better. You know that. I love spending time with Jongdae. I don’t shy away when he touches me anymore. I don’t always feel so guilty anymore. But right now, right this second, it’s hard.”

“Okay.” Kyungsoo slowly nodded. “That’s okay.”

Baekhyun took a shaky breath. “Thank you.”

“I’m proud of you, Baekhyun, y’know?”

Baekhyun scrunched up his nose. “I’m trying really hard to keep up this not-crying-thing, Soo.”

Kyungsoo laughed. “Sorry.”

“I’m really tired of always crying about this.”

“I know.” Kyungsoo offered him a gentle smile. “Just...don’t push Jongdae away, Baek. Your happiness is just as important as everyone else’s. Maybe just...go with the flow?”

“Wise words,” Baekhyun gently teased, but it didn’t stop him from yanking Kyungsoo from his seat and into a tight hug. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Kyungsoo left before Baekhyun, giving him another moment to collect himself, and when Baekhyun finally stepped out of the bathroom, the backstage area was surprisingly empty.

He cleared his throat, a little startled after having spent so much time preparing himself to face everyone who had seen him break down, and moved to his backpack. He rummaged through it to find his keys, but his task was cut short by Jongdae coming up the stairs with a friendly, "Hey, Baek."

He was carrying two giant coffees, and Baekhyun couldn't stop a smile from stretching his lips. "Hey, Dae."

"Coffee?"

Baekhyun nodded, dropping his keys back into his backpack and digging out his phone instead. He plopped onto the couch and waited for Jongdae to get settled before curling into his side, gingerly taking the coffee Jongdae offered him and sipping on it. "Thanks."

Jongdae hummed. "I thought we could go over some scenes. Blow off some steam, maybe."

"Okay." Baekhyun pulled up Youtube on his phone. "After coffee. I'm drained."

"After coffee," Jongdae easily agreed and pressed a kiss to Baekhyun's head that sent tingly warmth down to Baekhyun's fingertips. Jongdae didn't ask about Baekhyun's meltdown, didn't ask about Suzy; he just watched videos with Baekhyun over their coffee, held Baekhyun close, and it was exactly what Baekhyun needed to recharge.

When they finally did emerge back onto the stage, Baekhyun didn't exactly feel energized enough to full-on rehearse anything, but he didn't so much mind when running through  _ Watch Out _ produced a soft, quiet, five minute long make-out against the sturdiest prop wall. It was full of nothing but the deepest, most thorough kisses that drew sighs from both their mouths, and the gentlest touches that made Baekhyun feel like he was floating on the highest clouds in the sky. Even Jongdae's usual butt-grabbing was somehow sweeter than usual, and really, if this was Jongdae's idea of merely blowing off some steam, Baekhyun wouldn't mind more of it.

"I don't think they'd let us kiss for this long during the show," Baekhyun murmured breathlessly, tilting his head back to make room for the soft kisses being trailed down his neck.

"They should," Jongdae breathed against his collarbone, then dragged his lips along it. "We're both very attractive people."

"Is that right?"

"Mhmm." Jongdae moved back up to steal another languid kiss. "People'd pay a lot to see us, I bet..."

Baekhyun giggled. “Not that kinda show.” He spun them around with the intention of backing away, but when he stepped, so did Jongdae, swooping in for kiss after kiss.

“What a shame,” he eventually muttered into Baekhyun’s mouth.

They were roughly centerstage now and Baekhyun hummed. “I think we’ve got the kissing down, y’know.”

Jongdae lazily shook his head, eyes still trained on Baekhyun’s lips. “Nah, I think I still need some practice.”

Because Baekhyun did know how to be selfish on occasion, he didn’t stop the next kiss, or the next, or the next. But then he laughed, pushing Jongdae away from him. “I think you’ve successfully distracted me, if that was your goal. We can go home now.”

Jongdae laughed, his hands sliding right back into place under Baekhyun’s shirt. “That was part of my goal, yeah. You tired of me already?”

“No,” Baekhyun answered with a shy grin. “But I am tired.” Drained, still. The coffee hadn’t done much for him in the end, and the kissing had both helped and made him sleepier. The kind of sleepy that made him want to forget all of his concerns and drag Jongdae to bed for lazy makeouts. But he wasn’t quite sure he trusted himself to do something like that.

“I just wanna go over this one part before we go, okay?”

“Dae, we have kissed so much—“

Jongdae laughed, hands sliding along Baekhyun’s skin under his shirt. “I could kiss you all night,” he murmured right into Baekhyun’s cheek, and Baekhyun had never quite felt his knees tremble the way they were now. “But that’s not what I meant.”

“Hmm…” Baekhyun let his eyes fall shut, and smiled when another kiss was pressed to his lips.

“The part where we circle each other?” Baekhyun nodded. “It’s a little awkward, right? Too tight.”

Baekhyun frowned, leaning back to peer at Jongdae. “Yeah?”

“I’ve almost fallen like three times.” Jongdae chuckled. “I just wanna widen it up. See how it feels.”

Baekhyun nodded, openly shivering when Jongdae’s hands left cold trails in their wake as they exited his shirt. “Okay.”

As easily as he agreed, though, Baekhyun couldn’t really find it in himself to commit to any part or any length of the scene in question. He couldn’t stop breaking character to giggle at the serious expression on Jongdae’s face as they walked in circles, even when he _ tried  _ to focus on the soft way Jongdae sang so they didn’t have to keep rewinding the track. Baekhyun would never get tired of hearing his voice, but Jongdae had fed him 24 ounces of sugar when he was already mentally drained, and his body and mind were crashing hard.

“Come on, Hyun-ah,” Jongdae whined after the fourth mess up, the words bubbling out as a laugh as he tugged on Baekhyun’s hands, pulling him back to centerstage. “I wanna get this right.”

But Baekhyun’s eyelids were heavier and heavier and he pouted, pliant under Jongdae’s direction. “I’m sleepy.”

_ Jongdae’s direction _ led Baekhyun close, until suddenly they were chest to chest, while Jongdae’s hand cupped Baekhyun’s jaw. “Just one more time,” Jongdae gently pled, and Baekhyun found himself warming right back up at the feeling of their noses grazing. It felt so stupidly  _ nice _ and Baekhyun wanted them to be kissing again, but they couldn’t.  _ Not without the excuse of rehearsing a scene. _ “I want this to be perfect, Baek. I want us to be perfect.”

That made Baekhyun’s bottom lip poke out, offering up his most dramatic pout. “We will be. It’s...us. We work great together.”

Jongdae smiled and nodded, stroking his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair once. “Yeah, we do.” Jongdae started playing with the hair at the back of Baekhyun’s head. “Do you feel better?” he asked, almost a whisper.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun whispered back. It was easier to push the raging moral dilemma in his heart to the side when he didn’t have both Jongdae and Minseok in front of him. The beating of his heart wasn’t quite so deafening under Jongdae’s soothing voice and touch. “Thanks for being here.”

“Anything for you,  _ darling.” _ Jongdae all but purred, overdramatic and so very  _ Jongdae _ as he playfully nipped at Baekhyun’s nose. Baekhyun’s resulting laugh was loud and carefree, and he tried to break away from Jongdae to run, but he only made it a few steps before he tripped, and Jongdae caught him.

He was wrapped tight in Jongdae’s arms, intoxicated on the feeling of Jongdae laughing into his neck, when the doors to the auditorium swung open.

They both looked over, wide smiles stretching their faces, to see Chanyeol and Minseok walking in, and Baekhyun felt his own smile minutely drop. “Hey guys!” Jongdae said, keeping one arm around Baekhyun as they turned to face them. “I thought you were going to get something to eat.”

“A pipe burst at the diner so they’re temporarily closed,” Chanyeol answered with a shrug.

“We had a change of plans,” Minseok said. “We couldn’t get a hold of either of you, so we came back to see if you were still here.” He glanced between them, as if he was trying to figure out if they were hiding something from him. Baekhyun squirmed under the scrutiny, and Jongdae held him a little tighter.

“What’s up?” Jongdae asked.

Chanyeol beamed. “Soo’s picking up pizza for everyone now and we thought we’d do a movie night. We haven’t in a while.”

Baekhyun instantly perked up. A movie night, he could do. He didn’t have to talk if he didn’t want to, and everyone would stay focused on something other than him and his bad rehearsal. Jongdae’s finger pressing into his back caught his attention, and then it was slowly drawing a question mark.  _ Do you want to? _ he seemed to be asking, and Baekhyun melted into a soft, affectionate puddle.

He liked Jongdae  _ so much. _

“That sounds great,” Baekhyun answered the room sincerely. “But we’re  _ not starting with Iron Man.” _

Chanyeol’s whine rivaled an army of puppies. “But Baek—!”

Jongdae asked, “Why not?”

Baekhyun laughed, meeting Minseok’s knowing gaze. “Every time we do this, we start with Iron Man, and never make it past the series because Chanyeol insists on watching all three movies together.”

“He has an Iron Man problem,” Minseok agreed, to which Jongdae laughed.

“We could just start with The Avengers?” he suggested.

“Also leads into an Iron Man marathon. An out of order one.”

They all laughed while Chanyeol continued whining, and eventually made their way home.

  
  
  


Baekhyun didn’t think too much of it—or tried not to at least—when he sat down on the couch plastered to Jongdae’s side, and Minseok wedged himself in next to Baekhyun. There was pizza to eat and hot superheroes to fawn over, and everything was fine.

Baekhyun’s exhaustion came back full-force halfway through the second film, and he curled into Jongdae’s side without question, humming happily when Jongdae wrapped his arm around him. Everything was fine.

It was sometime in the third film when Minseok gently leaned against Baekhyun, his head just barely nestling against his shoulder. That was fine, too.

Even later, Baekhyun was almost asleep when Minseok slowly slid his arm around Baekhyun’s torso, settling more comfortably along Baekhyun’s body, holding him,  _ snuggling _ him. It caused Baekhyun’s breaths to fall a little shorter, which, made him feel considerably less fine.

Minseok had never really been a  _ cuddler. _ Not without something happening to prompt it, like Jongdae telling them about his dark past.

Against his better judgment, Baekhyun conceded when he felt fingers creeping along his elbow, the closest thing Minseok could reach when Baekhyun was hugging Jongdae. Hazily, Baekhyun pulled his arm back until it was lined up with Minseok’s across his stomach, and he held his breath when Minseok caught his hand and laced their fingers. Baekhyun tried to breathe evenly, tried to reason that of all the friendly affection he and Minseok shared, holding hands was a pretty common thing for them.  _ It’s how we show each other we care...as friends do. _

_ This is fine! _

As if Jongdae could sense his growing, internal panic, he shuffled impossibly closer and used his nose to move Baekhyun’s hair before placing a warm, comforting kiss to his forehead. It did, remarkably, seem to help a little, until Baekhyun saw something move in his peripheral and peeked to his right to see Jongdae gently running his fingers through Minseok’s hair.

Baekhyun took a moment to fully focus on his breathing, get it completely under control before he tried to run for the hills. He had no idea what to think; this, the three of them, was like that night Jongdae talked to them and they cuddled him to sleep, except without all the darkness and trauma and crying. So what did that even mean? Why were  _ all three of them _ comfortably curled up like the lovers Baekhyun wished they somehow were?

He was literally, physically, _ completely _ entangled in the two men who had been playing tug of war with his heart for months. If any tiny part of him believed he could listen to Kyungsoo’s advice and just follow Jongdae to the ends of the earth without looking back, he had been sorely mistaken.

The scariest thing, though, was that somewhere, in the deepest parts of his heart and mind that he didn’t like to dive into too often, he found himself wondering why they couldn’t live in a world where he could just have them both.

But that was a terribly selfish thought to have, and so he stashed it even deeper, never to be touched again.

  
  


**+++**

  
  


>> **musicalkings:jongdae  
** _ dude heechul is freaking outttt _

**musicalkings:baekhyun** <<  
_ he’ll be fine. he just thinks we’re _ __  
_ gonna forget everything over winter _ _  
_ __ break. he always does this

>> **musicalkings:jongdae  
** _ T_T but finishing the musical _ _  
_ _ before break? that’s ridiculous!! _

>> **musicalkings:minseok  
** _ i think he just likes being dramatic _ _  
_ _ honestly _

>> **musicalkings:minseok  
** _ and when are one of you going _ __  
_ to change the stupid name of _ __  
_ this chat to something less _ _  
_ __ embarrassing?

**musicalkings:baekhyun** <<  
_ psst...jongdae...when should we _ __  
_ tell him he can also change the _ _  
_ __ name?

>> **musicalkings:jongdae  
** _ hmmm...idk if he’s ready for that _ __  
__ kind of power yet   


>> **musicalkings:minseok  
** _ what?! _

**musicalkings:baekhyun** <<  
_ anyway we’ll be fine :’) whether _ __  
_ we finish blocking the whole _ __  
_ thing before break or not. we _ _  
_ __ only have a few songs left!

>> **musicalkings:jongdae  
** _ true. and our next duet is _ _  
_ _ coming up~ i’m so excited :3 _

>> **musicalkings:minseok  
** _ are you guys seriously not _ __  
_ going to tell me how to change _ _  
_ __ this chat name?

>> **musicalkings:jongdae  
** _ i just love seeing you squirm ;D _

**musicalkings:baekhyun** <<  
_ kjadhfkusgjsjkdg _

**musicalkings:baekhyun** <<  
_ ANYWAY i’m waking up extra _ __  
_ early tomorrow just to have _ __  
_ breakfast with u guys before _ _  
_ __ rehearsal pls don’t ditch me

>> **musicalkings:minseok  
** _ i’ll be there! _

>> **musicalkings:jongdae  
** _ i would never ditch you!!! _

  
  


**+++**

  
  


Early morning rehearsal was Baekhyun's least favorite thing about Musical Crunch Time, as they liked to call it amongst themselves. Precisely none of them were morning people, except for maybe Minseok, but when Heechul was stressed, they all paid the price.

Focus was simply a much harder feat when Baekhyun wasn't properly awake or caffeinated, and even though Baekhyun had breakfast with Jongdae and Minseok and was, theoretically, awake and caffeinated, there were...other things completely hogging Baekhyun's attention when he really needed to be focused on blocking his new duet with Jongdae. It was mostly that overstimulation he always tended to feel when he was around Jongdae and Minseok both, and he was still buzzing with it, tingly where Jongdae's hand had rubbed up and down his thigh under the table, warm where Minseok's foot had gently rubbed at his ankle.

All. Breakfast. Long.

It was truly mind-boggling, but maybe not as much as finding out Jongdae and Minseok hung out somewhat regularly without him. He had  _ no idea _ until breakfast, listening to them gush about a movie they'd seen together. Baekhyun didn't like the thick, slushy feeling of jealousy in his gut as he watched them be so familiar with each other, and he hated how selfish and pathetic it felt to wonder why they  _ didn't invite him. _

It took a lengthy internal pep talk—in Kyungsoo's voice—and a lot of holding Jongdae's hand to convince himself he was being a goddamn  _ idiot. _ He'd seen every day how Jongdae and Minseok were friends, progressively becoming  _ close _ friends, even. (Maybe something more.) Of course they hung out! Baekhyun hung out with Minseok, Baekhyun hung out with Jongdae, so why wouldn't they want to hang out without Baekhyun sometimes?

On top of it being too early, and  _ that,  _ and his unnaturally confusing feelings, and remembering that time Minseok have Jongdae a hickey, he also had a very playful Jongdae improvising a lot of provocative blocking as they worked through their new duet,  _ Gentleman. _ By the time Jongdae slid across the floor on his knees and all but stuck his face in Baekhyun's crotch as he sang,  _ "I'm gonna do you like a gentleman," _ Baekhyun really just wanted to crawl under the nearest rock and  _ die. _

He did, somehow, make it through rehearsal in one piece, though judging by the smirk on Kyungsoo's face as they were all packing up, only  _ barely. _

"Baek, Jongdae, come here," Heechul called just before they reached the auditorium exit.

Baekhyun and Jongdae glanced curiously at each other, then waved to a frowning Minseok who would be late for class if he waited on them. They approached the sound board where Heechul was still sitting, clicking around on his laptop until they reached him. "What's up, Heech?" Jongdae asked.

Heechul grimaced. "I really hate it when you call me that."

"Oh come on." Jongdae grinned. "You know it's clever.  _ Heech. Teach. _ Y'know?" Baekhyun laughed at the floor, rubbing his eyes as he shook his head.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that and get right to the point," Heechul deadpanned. "I know we've had endless rehearsals and you're both busy with finals and shit, but I was wondering if I could get you guys to kinda flesh out the  _ Ten Thousand Times _ refrain on your own?"

"Oh," Baekhyun said, attempting to process the request.  _ Gentleman  _ was the point in the musical where Jongdae's character, Joshua, finally, after years of pining, wooed Baekhyun's character, Jae. The following refrain,  _ Ten Thousand Times, _ was when the characters finally, well, fell into bed together.

Obviously, nothing truly scandalous could or would happen on stage, but it was still a very intimate scene that required shirts coming off and a heavy moment of kissing in bed as the lights faded, implying an intensely romantic night of  _ sexual intercourse. _

Suddenly, practicing their first kiss in  _ Watch Out  _ didn't seem so bad, in retrospect.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely mostly doing this because it'll speed up rehearsal time but also..." Heechul squinted, vaguely gesturing between them. He lowered his voice to say, "You've got that sexual chemistry thing going on between you so I'd rather you get all that out behind closed doors, yeah?"

Baekhyun's cheeks were flaming as he nodded, robotic at best. Jongdae was the cheery, good sport for both of them, laughing as he said, "Sure thing, boss."

"Today, please," Heechul insisted. "We'll work on  _ Gentleman _ some more tomorrow and go into the refrain if we have time."

Baekhyun and Jongdae both agreed, and made their way out of the auditorium together. Jongdae slipped his hand into Baekhyun's as they wandered down the hall. "We don't have class until one," Jongdae pointed out. "We could run through it now."

Baekhyun bit the inside of his cheek. "Yeah." He inhaled deeply. "I guess it's now or like, midnight tonight."

"My place?" Jongdae suggested. "Sehun's home though, I think."

Baekhyun hesitated for maybe a moment too long before saying, "Uh, my roommates are all out. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol should be on their way to class now until one or so, and Yixing should be at work."

"Perfect!" Jongdae grinned and squeezed Baekhyun's hand. "Let's go."

The trek to Baekhyun’s place was too short, so Baekhyun immediately started stalling once they arrived. He took ten minutes to go to the bathroom, he fixed them both drinks and snacks, he changed clothes  _ twice, _ and changed the channel on the living room TV five times before Jongdae just laughed and tugged him into the bedroom. “Come on, Baekhyun-ah,” he said. “I did want to try and squeeze a nap in before class.”

“Should we…” Baekhyun tried. “How should we do this?”

Jongdae shrugged, shutting the door behind them. “We’re best when we don’t plan ahead. Just go with the flow.”

_ Go with the flow, _ Kyungsoo’s voice distantly repeated in Baekhyun’s head. He nodded, taking a deep breath and putting his back to the room, stepping into Jongdae’s space. Jongdae’s hands fell to Baekhyun’s hips without question, and they nodded at each other.

Baekhyun knew the nerves showed on his face, as Jongdae slowly backed him toward the bed. He could only hope it came off as his character being nervous, and not him, though he doubted he was so lucky. The backs of his legs hit the end of his bed, so he started softly singing.

_ ”You make me feel different than others.  
_ _ Almost nervous...what is that?” _

Jongdae’s warm, warm hands skimmed the hem of Baekhyun’s shirt, eyes drooping as his nose bumped Baekhyun’s.

_ ”Holding my head up to make myself seem more grown up...lose myself…” _

Slowly, Jongdae lifted Baekhyun’s shirt over his head, tossing it aside.   
_ ”Ten thousand times,  
_ _ I have been thinking about you.” _

Baekhyun shuddered when Jongdae’s fingers slid along his chest, down his torso.

_ ”You’re gonna love tonight, love tonight.  
_ _ All day, all night I’ve been wondering…” _

They were almost out of time to get on the bed, so Baekhyun pulled Jongdae’s shirt off next. He boldly stared into Jongdae’s eyes as he sat on the bed, hands circling Jongdae’s wrists.

_ ”Ten thousand times,  
_ _ I wanted to try giving up on you.” _

A pause. Jongdae gently urged Baekhyun back until his head was resting on the pillows. His hands were drawn to Jongdae’s skin the second he was in reach again.

_ ”We’re gonna love tonight, love tonight…  
_ _ All day, all night…” _

Jongdae’s lips hungrily grazed his.

_ ”I can’t forget you…” _

Jongdae dipped down for a deep, resonating kiss that immediately made Baekhyun’s toes curl in his sheets. He sighed on a slow exhale when Jongdae gently dragged his fingers along Baekhyun’s arm, carefully manipulating it to rest above Baekhyun’s head, where their fingers entwined and Jongdae licked into Baekhyun’s mouth. Baekhyun cradled the back of Jongdae’s neck with his free hand, whimpering under his breath as he quickly, quickly became overwhelmed by the amount of Jongdae pressing into him, from their hands to their mouths, to their bare chests and their crotches.

Tugging on Baekhyun’s bottom lip as he lifted his head, Jongdae whispered, “And then the lights fade…”

Baekhyun didn’t budge, not releasing Jongdae’s gaze for one second. “And then the lights fade…” Baekhyun whispered back, watching as Jongdae reached over to the nightstand and flicked the lamp off. The only light remaining was the sunlight filtering in through the cheap curtains covering the window, just enough to still be able to see the sparkle in Jongdae’s dilated eyes. Right before they surged together for another, unscripted kiss.

Baekhyun dropped his inhibition and sunk his fingers into Jongdae’s hair, kissing back with a sort of vigor he only ever felt when Jongdae’s mouth cast its spell on him. Something about this time was different, though, like they’d both been lost in a desert for days and were each other’s first and only source of water. Like the first time they kissed in Baekhyun’s bedroom, times one hundred.

_ ”Dae,” _ Baekhyun gasped when Jongdae undulated against him the first time, rubbing their thinly clothed crotches together.  _ ”Dae,” _ he practically sang the second time, tightening his grip in Jongdae’s hair and letting a moan slip right into their next, open-mouthed kiss.

“Oh, god,  _ Baek.” _

_ ”Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” _

There was a clear goal then among whispered sweet nothings, when Jongdae crashed back into him, capturing his mouth in the most divine way, when Jongdae nibbled Baekhyun’s lip with a simultaneous thrust, when Baekhyun wrapped his legs around Jongdae, keeping him close, pulling him closer. They were both hard now, straining in their underwear, able to feel everything through their sweatpants with each careful roll of Jongdae’s hips.

Baekhyun was unhinged, being pulled apart at the seams by each thrust, each kiss, each low murmur of his name from Jongdae’s kiss-swollen lips. His feelings were a mess, a broken bottle that had been stowed away for too long, a rushing river that had been frozen in winter. He was fragile and empowered all at once, pouring everything onto Jongdae’s tongue, Jongdae’s skin, suddenly desperate for Jongdae to understand the intensity of his feelings.

He was so wrapped up in feeling his like, his love, for Jongdae, so lost in the moment, he was coming before he could really process it. His emphatic moans were swallowed up by Jongdae’s mouth, encouraged by confident hands that pinned his wrist and hips down and a quickened pace that dragged Baekhyun’s orgasm into oversensitivity, but brought Jongdae over the edge just in time.

When Jongdae came down from his high, he laced their fingers, pressed closer, and kissed Baekhyun deeply through the afterglow, kissed him into the sheets, into oblivion. “You’re so beautiful,” Jongdae whispered, easing his lips down Baekhyun’s neck and up again, a small break, but not enough to draw Baekhyun out from space completely. 

In this space, in this oblivion, all he wanted was to keep kissing Jongdae, lost in a love he never quite meant to harvest.

Jongdae unwittingly obliged for a while, taking great care when he licked into Baekhyun’s mouth again. He traced the line of his teeth, his lips, pulling each one into his mouth like he wanted to savor the taste before pressing forward for more full, mutual kisses that made Baekhyun curl his fingers tightly in Jongdae’s hair.

They did eventually have to stop for the sake of breathing, and when that time came, Jongdae rolled onto his back next to Baekhyun with a huff, so close yet so far. He quickly found Baekhyun’s hand though, entwining their fingers between their bodies and smiling over at Baekhyun, bright even in the dimness of the room.

But with the rush of cool air and a moment to breathe, came the sudden avalanche of guilt that crashed onto Baekhyun’s heart.

He jolted upright, hand slipping from Jongdae’s just enough to leave a mess of loosely tangled fingers. There was no time to get his breaths under control; he was well on his way to hyperventilating already, floating far, far away from this bed and Jongdae.

He vaguely registered Jongdae’s lazy chuckling, and the way he sat up just enough to slide a hand along Baekhyun’s stomach and kiss his back. “It feels gross, right?” Jongdae asked, his lips starting to trace an invisible curve, half of a heart. “We should change. Wash up. No regrets though. I think that’s one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had.”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun whispered. He could at least agree on that for the time before the panic set in. “I’ll uh, I’ll go first and get...towels and clothes for you.”

“Hey,” Jongdae muttered into Baekhyun’s skin. “Are you okay?” His hand slid closer to Baekhyun’s chest, where he could no doubt feel the way it was starting to heave for breath.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun said again. He tried so hard to sound sure and normal, but it wasn’t easy to tell much when everything sounded so cloudy in his ears. “I just need a minute.” Which was true enough.

A soft, slow kiss was pressed just beneath his shoulder blade. “Okay,” Jongdae said, but didn’t sound convinced of whatever Baekhyun was trying to sell. “Do you have plans today? We could cuddle till class. Nap. I just wanna stay in bed with you.”

“That sounds…”  _ Perfect! _ a voice in his head yelled, trying to be heard over the darkness. He jerkily nodded. “Yeah. Please.”

Jongdae’s pleased hum resonated deep in Baekhyun’s heart. “Okay, hurry back. Gonna cuddle you so hard.”

Baekhyun had the presence of mind to laugh, at least, though it came out as more of a wheeze. He stumbled over to his drawers to dig some clean clothes out, desperate to ignore the way his limbs felt like jelly, loose and lazy post-orgasm. He handed sweatpants to Jongdae. “Uh.” He cleared his throat. “If you wanna use Yixing’s bathroom, he won’t mind.”

Jongdae’s smile beamed a thousand watts up at him. “Thanks, Baek.” He jumped up before Baekhyun could move and stepped in, holding Baekhyun’s face in one hand and gently kissing his lips, then his cheek. “Be right back.”

Cleaning up was a blur, something Baekhyun had already forgotten by the time he crawled back into bed and curled up facing the wall. His body shuddered as quiet sobs overtook him. It was officially happening again. Baekhyun couldn’t deny how deeply he felt for Jongdae. He had gone and fallen for someone else while his feelings for Minseok were still glaringly present.

Today could have meant the start of something new, something greater with Jongdae, a future with Jongdae, but he would have to end it here. Before either of them fell in any deeper.

Just like he and Suzy had.

He couldn’t mask his emotions this time when Jongdae came back, clearly content to meld himself to Baekhyun’s body. Only the second he settled in, he reared back, pulling Baekhyun to face him. “Baek? Wh-What’s wrong?” He touched Baekhyun’s cheek, like he needed to confirm Baekhyun was crying his fucking eyes out.  _ ”Baby.” _

“Don’t,” Baekhyun cried. “I can’t—”

“Can’t what? Baek—“

“Whatever this is—whatever we’re feeling—“ Baekhyun sobbed into his hand. “W-We just can’t, Dae.”

Jongdae propped himself up on his elbow, but didn’t stop touching Baekhyun’s face. “Why the hell not?” he asked, the barest hint of vehemence in his voice.

Baekhyun stared up at Jongdae through blurry eyes, lips trembling behind his hand. “Because I love Minseok,” he whispered, eyes squeezing shut as an unstoppable round of sobs overcame him.

“Oh…”

Baekhyun clutched at his stomach like that would stop the pain in his heart. “God this feels—just like it did with Suzy. Wh-Why does it feel like—“

Before he could truly curl in on himself, retreat from the inevitable pain or hatred on Jongdae’s face, Jongdae grabbed him, gentle and sure, holding Baekhyun’s face as if it was the most precious gem in the world. “I’m not going anywhere, Baekhyun,” he said, voice soft, but firm all at once. “I’m not Suzy.”

“Jongdae…"

Jongdae shook his head, pulling Baekhyun into him, holding him tighter than he ever has. “Breathe, Baekhyun-ah. I’m right here. I’m not leaving.” Baekhyun’s hands clutched at the skin they could reach as he quietly wept into Jongdae’s neck. Jongdae repeatedly kissed his head and whispered, “Did you really think I didn’t know?” Baekhyun’s fingers dug in harder, trying to ground himself. “It doesn’t change how we feel about each other.”

“It-It changes everything…” Baekhyun stammered, and Jongdae smoothed a hand down Baekhyun’s back, slowly rubbing up and down in soothing motions.

“It doesn’t, Baek. But we can talk about it when you get through this panic attack. Come on. Breathe with me.” 

Jongdae rolled onto his back, pulling Baekhyun half on top of him, but enough for him to feel the deep breaths Jongdae started taking. Baekhyun did his best to match the rhythm, but it took a long time to stop the stuttering of his chest and the tremble of his hands. Jongdae was a rock through it all, however, never faltering in his comforting movements, his soothing reassurances that he was right there, and not leaving any time soon.

“That’s it,” Jongdae murmured when Baekhyun’s breathing finally started to even out. “You’re doing so well, Baek.”

By the time Baekhyun felt decent enough to function again, he was close to falling asleep on Jongdae’s chest. He was  _ so mentally drained, _ but there was too much to talk about to put it off any longer. Sniffling, he gently finagled his way out of Jongdae’s arms and wiped at his face as he rolled onto his back. “I’m sorry,” he rasped.

Jongdae turned onto his side, voice stern as he said, “Don’t apologize for that. Ever.” His hand reached out, grasping one of Baekhyun’s and pulling it away from his face. Baekhyun used the other to cover his eyes. “I know what those are like. How they can sneak up on you.”

Baekhyun only nodded. But when silence settled in, so did his guilt. “You deserve so much better than this, Jongdae. All of it.”

“You keep insinuating that as if you’re not worth...everything.” Jongdae entwined their fingers. “I want you, Baekhyun. I want you and everything and everyone that comes with you.”

Baekhyun’s heart stuttered in his chest, but it was false hope. “You don’t understand,” he whispered. “No matter how hard I try, I’ll never stop loving him.”

_ ”You  _ don’t unders—“

“No matter how many people I slept with, no matter how many I dated, no matter how many I fell in love with...my love for Minseok never faded.” Baekhyun pinched the bridge of his nose to try and stop more tears from falling. “He is  _ the _ love of my life. There’s—“

Jongdae let go of Baekhyun’s hand to reach up and cup Baekhyun’s cheek, turning his head to look at him. “Who says you can only have one?”

“Society? I don’t know.” This was something Baekhyun had been sure of his whole life, but the way Jongdae was looking at him now, the way Jongdae accepted him, the way he wasn’t crying or pulling back, suddenly made Baekhyun uncertain. Jongdae waited, and Baekhyun turned on his side, scooting until they were close enough to breathe the same air. “When Suzy and I became serious…”

Jongdae gently stroked his cheek. “Take your time.”

Baekhyun nodded. He took another deep breath, just in case. “When I fell in love with her, I thought, this is great, perfect, even. It had already been several years since I realized I was in love with my best friend, who very shortly after hopped into a long-term relationship with his first boyfriend. It was clear I didn’t have a chance with Minseok, so to love Suzy as much as I did was...a breath of fresh air in a dust storm.

“Then, the night we professed our love or whatever, we had this really romantic night full of...of roses and a fancy dinner and-and sex by candlelight and the whole night I...I couldn’t stop thinking how much I loved her, and I was so  _ happy _ because she  _ wasn’t Minseok.” _ Baekhyun shook his head. “I thought I had done it. Gotten over him or whatever.”

Jongdae nodded, continuing to stroke Baekhyun’s cheek. “What happened after that?”

“The next day, Suzy had work and I was home with my mom so Minseok came over and...nothing even happened, he just fucking—laid in bed with me, but every time he moved closer, or his hand brushed mine, I got the biggest rush of butterflies and I knew…” Baekhyun shook his head again, sniffling. “I felt like a terrible person from that point on. I spent the rest of my relationship feeling like I was lying to Suzy, and then eventually broke up with her because of it. It was...one of the worst days of my life.”

“Baek…” Jongdae whispered, and it looked, in the dim light, like his eyes were watering. “God, I...have you been with anyone at all since then?”

“No. It’s been two years since I’ve let...until you. You just...You just wormed your way in the moment I met you and it’s like—like I never even had a chance to stop it.” Baekhyun’s eyes welled with tears. “I’m so sorry, Jongdae—“

Jongdae cursed, surging forward to wrap himself around Baekhyun. “No, no, no. Stop. You have no reason to apologize. Honestly, Baek, I’m not blind. I knew what I was getting myself into—“ Jongdae seemed to change gears, pulling back and taking Baekhyun’s face firmly in his hands. “I had no idea though, that you hadn’t been with anyone in so long.  _ I’m _ sorry. We should’ve talked first. Before today, especially.”

“No, please, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Baekhyun shook his head, closing his eyes when Jongdae leaned forward and kissed his forehead. “Jongdae…”

“I care about you, Baek. Especially about your well-being. And-And sometimes you can have your cake and eat it too, you just...haven’t clicked yet—“

“What are you talking about?”

Jongdae shook his head, thumbs stroking Baekhyun’s cheeks. “Do you trust me, Baekhyun?” Reluctant, confused, Baekhyun nodded, and Jongdae affectionately nudged their noses together. “Then do that. Trust me.”

“Dae—“

“I want to be with you, Baekhyun, and I’ll wait however long it takes for you to realize it’s okay to want to be with me too.”

“But I—all I’ll do is hurt you—“

Jongdae smiled, cautious as he pressed forward and kissed Baekhyun’s lips, setting those stupid butterflies rampant in Baekhyun’s stomach. “I’m not asking you to like me  _ instead. _ I’m asking you to like me  _ too.” _

“I don’t—I don’t think I understand…”

“I know.” Jongdae nudged their noses again. “But I can’t tell you how to finish the game. Not when you still have so much to process from just today.”

Baekhyun blinked. Was Jongdae trying to distract him by confusing the hell out of him? Because it was working. “What are you trying to tell me?”

Jongdae chuckled. “I just want you to trust me. And for you to know that you can touch me and hug me and kiss me as much as you want until you figure things out. Forever, even. No strings attached.”

“That’s not very fair to you—“

Jongdae kissed him. “On the contrary, having you anywhere near me in any capacity feels like winning the lottery, so you’d only be doing me favors.”

Baekhyun felt his lips twitch, trying to morph into a smile. “I don’t understand you, Jongdae Kim.”

“Yes, I do like to maintain my man of mystery aura.”

Baekhyun chuckled and slid one of his hands onto Jongdae’s still resting on his face. “I do like you so much, I just...have this deep pool of guilt where every time I kiss you, I feel like I’m cheating.”

“I know, baby. And we’re gonna work through that.”

“We?”

“Was that not clear?” Jongdae kissed his nose. “I’m with you. One-hundred percent. I’m not here to pressure you, or make you uncomfortable. I’m just here. Period. In whatever capacity you’ll have me.”

Baekhyun’s heart lurched into his throat as Jongdae’s words really settled over him. Jongdae wasn’t going anywhere. Jongdae wasn’t accepting Baekhyun’s pseudo-breakup attempt, because he didn’t think anything was wrong with Baekhyun. Jongdae was there. Jongdae knew Baekhyun’s fatal flaw and was still  _ there. _

“Why do you always make it so hard to not kiss you?”

Jongdae smiled, a beacon in the darkness. “I will always be down to kiss you. Only ever hold back if  _ you _ don’t want to.”

Despite everything that screamed at him not to, Baekhyun surged forward to kiss Jongdae soundly on the mouth, shuddering when Jongdae slid his hands into Baekhyun’s hair, when he parted his lips to deepen the kiss. It was different than the rest, different than every kiss that had started because they were merely “rehearsing a scene.” Baekhyun wasn’t only trying to pour the things he couldn’t say into every shared breath, he was quietly, cautiously, subtly handing a piece of himself over to Jongdae, trusting Jongdae with half of his heart.

“I’m playing a character based on Minseok, in the play, right?” Jongdae whispered when they parted just enough to catch their breaths. Baekhyun could only nod, a small part of him still waiting for Jongdae to drop everything and run. Jongdae nodded, too. “He doesn’t know?”

Baekhyun’s gaze fell to Jongdae’s nose. “He thinks I just...took inspiration from what happened between us. Nothing more.”

Jongdae nodded again, and pressed a kiss to the corner of Baekhyun’s mouth, a softer one to his lips. “Tell me about it,” he said. He seemed to have no intention of separating their entangled limbs even a little bit.

A long moment passed, when Baekhyun just stared at Jongdae, waiting for him to crack, to laugh, to change his mind. But Jongdae’s tiny, reassuring smile didn’t falter, his eyes never lost a speck of kindness, so Baekhyun finally took a deep breath and said, “Okay.”

And it was weird, divulging some of his most personal memories of Minseok while sharing gentle kisses with another man in any stretch of silence, but somehow it didn’t feel like the absolute end of the world. 

Jongdae was an enigma that way, and always had been from the moment they met.

  
  


**+++**

  
  


“Mama,” Baekhyun sighed into his phone, frowning at the sky.

_ “Hi, darling. You sound down.” _

Baekhyun hugged himself tighter, bracing himself against the wind. He was lying on one of the tables in the courtyard near the musical building. It was cold, but the sun was out, which was too rare to pass up.

“I’m not,” he pointlessly protested. She always knew how he was feeling the second she heard him speak. He sighed again. “Ma…”

_ “What is it, honey?” _

He could hear her chopping vegetables on the other end of the line, and Baekhyun felt a rush of homesickness. “I think...I think me and Jongdae are getting more serious. Maybe.”

_ “Oh, Baek baby, that’s great! He seems like a real catch, from the way you and Minseok talk about him.” _

Baekhyun held his phone away from his face to furrow his brows at it. Minseok? He shook his head. “Yeah, sure. I just...things are so complicated.”

_ “I’m sure they aren’t as complicated as you’re making them to be.” _

“I like him a lot, Mom.” He took a shuddery breath. “Too much.”

_ ”There’s no such thing in this case.” _ She sighed, and the line went quiet but for a low hum that must have been the television in the background.  _ ”You always overthink things. Hyunnie, darling, why don’t all three of you just be together?” _

Baekhyun jolted upright on the table, sputtering. _ ”What? _ All three of  _ who?!” _

His mother laughed, delighted at his response it seemed. She laughed until she had tears in her eyes, he didn’t have to see her to know that. She always got this little squeak in her voice when she reached that point.  _ ”Oh, baby. The world is so much bigger than you think. Not every solution is black or white.” _

“I know that.” Baekhyun rested a hand over his heart. He didn’t know why it was beating so fast.

_ “Mmm. You sometimes know that. But you can’t have selective sight with things that overwhelm you.” _

“What does that mean?”

Chuckling, still, his mother said, _ ”It means remember to do your deep breathing, and stop overthinking so much. And that if you’re alone with your thoughts and burying yourself in that darkness, to call me and let me snap you out of it.” _ She hummed.  _ ”Unless, of course, you’d rather call Jongdae or Minseok—“ _

”Mom!”

She laughed.  _ ”I love you, baby. I gotta finish up this dinner for book club now. Stop thinking so hard, okay?” _

“Okay…” Baekhyun frowned. “I love you, too.”

_ ”Bye, bye.” _

Baekhyun sighed, voice quiet as he told her ‘bye. Why would she even suggest something like she had? Didn’t she know Baekhyun wasn’t supposed to be thinking about his most selfish thoughts?

He stared at the black screen of his phone with a frown until it lit up with a message from Kyungsoo asking where he was, and then he ran the five minutes to the auditorium for a meeting.

  
  
  
  


>> **jongdae  
** _ trust me? _

Baekhyun frowned at his phone. The text came from nowhere, though Jongdae was supposed to be meeting them. He was ten minutes late.

**baekhyun** <<  
_ yes??? _

>> **jongdae  
** _ don't forget to smile ;) _

**baekhyun** <<  
_??????????????? _

Jongdae didn't respond, so Baekhyun dropped his phone back into his lap, and tuned back into the video Yixing was showing him and Kyungsoo on his laptop. They were sitting together on the couch backstage at the auditorium, Minseok and Chanyeol on the floor in front of them. Yixing had filmed the last couple of routines he had come up with for the last two big numbers of the musical, for him and his dancers to do, and as a group, they were reviewing them and making a game plan for the last few rehearsals before winter break.

The musical was almost complete.

"Sorry I'm late!" Jongdae called from the staircase behind them, backpack rustling before it inevitably got tossed on the floor. Baekhyun smiled at him over his shoulder, half-remembering Jongdae’s weird texts, yet also half-forgetting about them altogether, pleased with Jongdae’s presence alone.

Things had been a little odd between them for the past few days, if only because Baekhyun wasn’t quite sure how to act around Jongdae, or what they were doing, what they were. All he knew was that Jongdae had been spending the night every night, and they’d spent most if not all of that time getting to know each other better, watching Netflix, and kissing.

Mostly kissing.

Jongdae grinned back at him, then winked. Baekhyun narrowed his eyes before turning forward again. He felt like he was missing something.

The others were just finished greeting Jongdae when Jongdae plopped on the arm of the couch next to Baekhyun, who turned to face him again, if only to get a nicer view of his face. Baekhyun could be selfish _ sometimes. _

Then, Jongdae leaned down and kissed him.

The way Baekhyun melted into it was natural at this point, a reflex, but he knew his surprise was palpable in the way Jongdae didn’t try to deepen the kiss. Instead, he pulled back enough to bump their noses. “Hi,” he murmured, smile almost sickeningly saccharine.

“Hi,” Baekhyun breathed back. He could feel everyone’s eyes on them so he kept his own on Jongdae’s.  _ Don’t forget to smile. _ He didn’t know why Jongdae had planned this ahead, but Baekhyun  _ did _ trust him, so slowly, as genuinely as he could, he let a broad smile overtake his mouth. “Did you have a good day?” he asked.

Jongdae’s smile softened into something a little more real, and he touched Baekhyun’s cheek with utmost affection before sitting back up. “Yeah. Better now, though.”

Next to them, Yixing cooed. “Nice catch, Baekhyunnie,” was all he said, already looking at his laptop again by the time Baekhyun turned to him.

“Thanks?” Jongdae said, and Baekhyun laughed as Jongdae leaned back down to settle on Baekhyun, arms wrapped around him and cheek atop Baekhyun’s head.

The other three were gawking at them.

“What?” Jongdae asked, just before panic crept into Baekhyun’s vision. “You’ve never seen two dudes share a bro-kiss before?”

Baekhyun slapped his own forehead. “Why are you like this?”

“A bro-kiss,” Kyungsoo deadpanned, actually leaning around Yixing to look at them. Baekhyun avoided eye contact with him.

_ ”Kidding,” _ Jongdae laughed. “Man. Tough crowd. Me and Baek are...feeling things out. That okay with the room?”

Kyungsoo narrowed his eyes at them before nodding and leaning back in his seat. Yixing turned to smile brightly at them, while Chanyeol said, “Uhh...yep.”

Minseok was staring at Jongdae.

Baekhyun bit his lip and turned his suddenly blurry eyes to the computer screen, not sure what he was seeing anymore. “Hey, Baek,” Kyungsoo suddenly said. “What do you think of this turn?” He gestured toward the computer screen, and Baekhyun could see he was trying to offer a distraction, had read the room enough to know something was off.

Baekhyun cleared his throat. “Ah, uh, rewind it like 30 seconds, would you, Xing? I wanna see that first chorus first.”

It only took a few seconds for Baekhyun to zone out again, but his haze was interrupted once more by Jongdae, who impossibly adjusted himself until his lips were pressed right behind Baekhyun’s ear. “I’ve got you,” Jongdae muttered, just barely audible. The reassurance made Baekhyun close his eyes and take a deep breath, and when he opened his eyes, like clockwork, Jongdae sat up and rearranged them both until Jongdae was sitting upright on the armrest, and Baekhyun was nestled between his legs, wrapped in his arms. Baekhyun felt safe.

Baekhyun could use Jongdae’s leg to hide his face from Minseok.

They were all mostly quiet while Yixing finished showing them videos, and before Baekhyun could start them on a discussion of what to tackle in the next rehearsals, and bringing the dancers in full-time after winter break, Kyungsoo leaned forward and said, “Baek, can you come help me with something in the sound booth?”

“Yeah…” Baekhyun frowned at him, but eased himself from Jongdae’s embrace to go with Kyungsoo. Chanyeol followed them out.

It wasn’t until they actually reached the sound station that Kyungsoo pounced. “What is going on?” he asked, eyes wide with confusion.

“Yeah, is this why Jongdae’s been staying over every night?” Chanyeol chimed in.

Baekhyun could feel his face heat up instantly. He wasn’t really sure if they knew about Jongdae staying over, but clearly they had. “Stop embarrassing me.”

Chanyeol scoffed. “We’re your parents! It’s our right to embarrass you!”

Baekhyun couldn’t help but laugh. “Shut up. Anyway, aren’t you the ones who encouraged this? You wanted me to choose Jongdae.”

“It’s not that—“ Kyungsoo started, but Chanyeol’s loud hum cut him off.

“I think I specifically wanted you to  _ do _ Jongdae, not necessarily  _ choose _ him.”

“Unbelievable,” Baekhyun muttered, rubbing his eyes. “Can’t you guys just...support me? Jongdae helps. He helps me not feel like a complete disaster all the time.”

“Speaking of help,” Kyungsoo said, before shoving Chanyeol out of the sound booth. “You are not helping, Yeol. Go.”

“But—!” Chanyeol protested, though he was already leaving. He’d do anything for Kyungsoo, truly.

Kyungsoo just waved him off and turned back to Baekhyun. “I do support you. No matter what,” he said. “I guess I’m just wondering why you haven’t said anything?”

Slowly, Baekhyun nodded. “Because I...don’t really know what to say? I don’t know what we’re doing. But he knows about Minseok now and...didn’t run for the hills?”

“You mean you didn’t push him toward the hills?”  _ Because that’s exactly what you did to Suzy, _ went unsaid.

“I tried,” Baekhyun whispered. “We slept together—“ Kyungsoo made a surprised noise. “—it just happened and then I freaked the fuck out and...told him everything.”

“And it didn’t change anything on his end?”

Baekhyun shook his head. “He said he wants to help, but I’m not totally sure what he means by that anymore? And like, him kissing me in there wasn’t—he planned that. We were keeping everything private until he did that.”

“Hmm…” Kyungsoo squinted his eyes, clearly trying to decipher whatever was happening. “Maybe because Minseok is here.”

“What does that help?”

Kyungsoo leveled him with a look just short of a glare. “I mean. It did look like Minseok was a little jealous.”

Baekhyun sighed. “No. I can’t read him anymore but he wasn’t jealous.”

“Baekhyun…” Kyungsoo sighed too.

Baekhyun dropped his gaze to the ground. “Why is it only hard to be around him sometimes? I just...how many times have we all hung out with no problem? But the last few months it’s like I can barely keep it together.”

“It’s because you like Jongdae, Baek. You know that.”

“I know.” Baekhyun pinched the bridge of his nose. “But this feels different than it used to. Sometimes I can’t even look at him and—I’m scared I’m going to lose him this time.”

“You’ve lived the way you have specifically so you  _ won’t _ lose him, you know. Is all of your suffering worth it if you let him slip away from you anyway?”

Baekhyun blinked up at Kyungsoo, a mixture of surprise and melancholy in his heart. “No, I guess not.”

“Remember that, then.” Kyungsoo patted him on the shoulder. “Maybe you need to start doing things differently, for once.”

“I am,” Baekhyun gently whined, though the sentiment was not lost on him. “Jongdae is different.”

“Yeah, I guess he is.” Kyungsoo nodded. “I can’t believe you slept with him.”

Baekhyun fully whined this time. “You told me to go with the flow! So that’s what I did!”

Kyungsoo laughed. “Fair enough.” He motioned for Baekhyun to follow him back down the steps of the auditorium. “Look, talk to me if you need to, okay? I’ll kick Jongdae out in a heartbeat if things get too hairy for you.”

Baekhyun chuckled, pressing sideways for a hug. “Thanks, Soo.” Despite everything, he at least had comfort knowing that he had people like his mom and Kyungsoo on his side.

When they rejoined everyone backstage, Baekhyun almost walked right back out again. He swallowed around the sudden lump of nerves in his throat upon seeing Yixing in Kyungsoo’s spot, and Minseok in Yixing’s spot, leaving a very narrow place open for Baekhyun between him and Jongdae.

Before he could come up with a strategy, however, Kyungsoo barged ahead, bypassing Chanyeol’s pout and open arms on the floor and plopping himself right between Jongdae and Minseok. Baekhyun bit the inside of his cheek to hide his surprise and maybe mild amusement at the way Jongdae and Minseok both looked at Kyungsoo.

Then Jongdae whined. “Kyungsoo! Get up!”

“What?” Kyungsoo asked, monotoned as ever. “All out of bro-hugs and kisses?”

Without missing a beat, Jongdae switched gears. “You know what? For you? Never.” He leaned forward to wrap himself around Kyungsoo, who skillfully dodged him with a disgusted grunt, sliding onto the floor and placing himself next to Chanyeol after all.

“Well played, Kim,” Kyungsoo muttered, resting his head against Chanyeol’s shoulder.

Baekhyun chuckled as he walked further into the room, warmed by the fact Kyungsoo had  _ tried _ to save him. He had no choice but to take his place between Jongdae and Minseok, but it was a little easier with Kyungsoo’s loyalty guiding him. This time, he curled up, resting his head on Jongdae’s thigh and entwining his fingers with Jongdae’s when his hand fell over Baekhyun’s shoulder. He was small and protected and staring right into Minseok’s calm, searching eyes.

It wasn’t so bad.

As they all transitioned into a discussion about the final stages of preparing the musical, Minseok’s fingers danced at the hem of Baekhyun’s jeans, idly picking at it as they listened to a plan being laid out by Chanyeol. Jongdae sank his free hand into Baekhyun’s hair.

By the time Yixing was filling them in on the dancers’ schedules, Minseok’s hand had migrated to Baekhyun’s calf, rubbing up and down it,  _ massaging _ it, even. It was simultaneously too good and too confusing for Baekhyun’s brain to even try panicking, which shoved him into this haze where he was being lulled to sleep, but didn’t understand why Minseok was getting a little handsy after his less than enthusiastic reaction to Baekhyun and Jongdae’s “news.”

And when something in Baekhyun’s brain clicked, to maybe stop Minseok from working him into a puddle, his blind attempt at weakly shoving Minseok’s hand away was misinterpreted for  _ hand holding. _ So by the time their little meeting was finished, Baekhyun had two hands holding his, that belonged to two different people.

Despite Jongdae’s efforts, everyone’s efforts, really, Baekhyun wasn’t sure he would ever get through these feelings, this confusion, in one piece.

Once Yixing started packing up his laptop, and Chanyeol his notebook, Baekhyun took his hands back, hugging himself and snuggling more comfortably between Jongdae’s legs. Yixing was the first to leave, and Chanyeol and Kyungsoo prepared to leave together, though Kyungsoo did turn to Baekhyun, trying to help one last time. “Coming home with us, Baek?” he asked, though Baekhyun knew they were going on a date to some jazz gig across town.

Baekhyun smiled gratefully and shook his head. He appreciated Kyungsoo’s effort, but he wasn’t going to make them late just to help him escape. “Nah, not yet,” he said, and Kyungsoo nodded, he and Chanyeol parting with a wave.

Minseok hadn’t budged next to Baekhyun. He cleared his throat. “So you guys are...casual?”

“Yep!” Jongdae said, and Baekhyun nodded, wary.

Minseok hummed, fingers creeping along Baekhyun’s ankle again as he stared ahead. Baekhyun turned his head to look up at Jongdae, who gave him his best  _ I have no idea _ face. “What are you guys doing tonight?” Minseok suddenly asked, and when Baekhyun turned back around, Minseok was staring intently at him.

It sent chills up his spine. Baekhyun gulped. “Why?”

“You trying to proposition us, Minseokkie?” Jongdae cooed, and Baekhyun heavily considered headbutting him in the balls.

Minseok at least had the presence of mind to look away and blush, but he laughed and shook his head. “No. I just thought if you two weren’t...doing anything...we could rent some movies. Maybe.”

Jongdae squeezed Baekhyun’s shoulder. “Just us three?” Baekhyun asked, voice small with fear but heart thudding with a weird kind of anticipation.

Minseok looked him in the eye again. “Just us three.”

  
  
  


Water tickled Baekhyun’s neck as he stepped out of Minseok’s steamy bathroom, throwing a towel on his head and scrubbing to get the excess water out. He trudged toward the living room as slowly as he could. It was already getting pretty late; the three of them having stopped at the grocery store for snacks and drinks and frozen pizza on their way to Minseok’s, but Baekhyun had continued to stall, begging for a shower while Minseok and Jongdae prepared the frozen pizzas.

He couldn’t put off being around them both any longer, though, and took one balancing deep breath before peeking into the living room. He stopped mid-step. From his position, he could just see Minseok and Jongdae over the back of the couch, Jongdae’s arm perched casually behind Minseok’s head, their faces entirely too close as they murmured and smiled at each other. Private and close as could be.

Clearing his throat, Baekhyun walked into the room, simultaneously smiling and shrinking when they both turned to grin at him over the back of the couch. He watched as they scooted apart—though not far enough—and was helpless when Jongdae grabbed him by the hand and dragged him to sit between them. Jongdae hummed. “Feel better?” He pressed his nose, his lips into Baekhyun’s cheek.

“Sure,” Baekhyun murmured, trying to withhold his shudder when Jongdae dragged his lips closer to Baekhyun’s, drawing a path of slow, affectionate kisses in their wake.

“Good.” Jongdae’s hand slid up to cup the side of Baekhyun’s head. “Mm, you’re so warm,” he muttered into Baekhyun’s skin. “Soft.”

Before Baekhyun could say anything, Jongdae was kissing his words away, a lazy slide of lips that made his skin warmer than the shower water ever could. Familiar chills rolled down his spine, which amplified when another hand touched his, still blindly holding the towel against his head.

Minseok held the towel in place, taking Baekhyun’s hand in his free one. His touch was feather-light, yet solid, something with purpose as it gently pulled his arm down, and guided his hand until it was resting on Jongdae’s arm.

Like Minseok was encouraging them to keep kissing.

Minseok slid his hand along Baekhyun’s, slow, almost sensual, before squeezing and gently dragging his fingers back, up Baekhyun’s arm. He stopped when he reached the towel, and—as if Baekhyun and Jongdae weren’t slowly starting to use tongues in their deep, resonating, should-be-private kisses—continued drying Baekhyun’s hair for him. Gentle as he scrubbed, thorough where his hands squeezed strands of Baekhyun’s hair, drawing inappropriate gasps from Baekhyun’s mouth, inviting Jongdae to drag Baekhyun’s bottom lip between his teeth.

The timer on the stove beeped from the kitchen, faint amongst the blood-rapids rushing in Baekhyun’s ears, but it was enough to make Minseok stop  _ whatever _ he was doing. He took the towel with him as he stood up, and squeezed Baekhyun’s neck as he said, “Be right back.”

Baekhyun pulled away from Jongdae with a gasp when he was sure Minseok was gone.  _ ”What is happening?” _ he frantically whispered, unable to stop the shiver from Jongdae sliding his hand underneath Baekhyun’s shirt.

“You’re…” Jongdae whispered back, gaze falling to Baekhyun’s lips. “...so hard to resist sometimes. Like one kiss unlocks this...insatiable need. I always have to keep kissing you.” As if talking about it was just as bad, Jongdae dove in for more. A kiss for Baekhyun’s lips, the corner of his mouth, his chin.

“With Minseok,” Baekhyun clarified, still keeping his voice as quiet as possible. “The way he keeps touching me. And—touching me while I kiss you—“

“Breathe,” Jongdae gently reminded him, kissing his bottom lip.

“He never—came near me and other people. Me and Suzy. Always kept his hands to himself like he was-was scared—“

Jongdae sighed. “Sometimes I really wonder how you two have never...nevermind.” He pressed their mouths insistently together. “I think he’s coming around, is all.”

“Coming around to  _ what?” _

“Just trust me, Baek.”

“You know I do. But Dae—why do I need to? You just keep telling me to and I don’t know why—“

Jongdae shut him up with a kiss before taking Baekhyun’s head in his hands and staring into his eyes. “Because I care about you, maybe more than I’ve ever cared about anyone, and all I want is for you to be happy. Truly happy. Let me help with that.”

“But you do make me happy. I don’t understand what—are you encouraging me to pursue Minseok?”

“Remember when I said I can’t tell you how to finish the game?” Baekhyun reluctantly nodded. “I know it’s confusing, baby, but I’ve got you. I won’t let anything bad happen to you. Ever. I lo—“

Jongdae froze, and they blinked at each other in surprise, Jongdae’s face reddening by the second. He didn’t almost say what Baekhyun thought he was going to say, did he? Baekhyun’s heart thudded in his chest, in his ears, as they stared, neither sure what to do or say next, clearly.

Baekhyun knew what the fire surging in his veins was, the feeling he felt when he and Jongdae confessed their feelings a few nights before, the feeling he had been avoiding all along. And even though everything in him was screaming to get out of there, he surged forward, crashing into Jongdae, an unstoppable force to be reckoned with, their lips melding together like they were made specifically to kiss each other.

Baekhyun was shifting, melting, closer, closer, hooking his leg around Jongdae’s waist, fingers sinking deeper and deeper into Jongdae’s hair. Baekhyun was heaving for breath as his head tilted back, lips parting wider as Jongdae pressed warm kisses down his neck.

_ “Jongdae, I—“ _

He peeled his eyes open slowly, intending to gather some sense of coherence back before he said anything vital, but he froze instead, blood turning to ice.

Minseok was standing there, leaned against the kitchen doorway, watching them.

Baekhyun didn’t know why he didn’t immediately stop Jongdae from going any further, charged back to life with a quiet gasp when Jongdae's tongue was added to the sensations on and beneath his skin. Maybe it was the look on Minseok's face, the way he didn't look disgusted, or even a tiny bit bothered. His gaze was dark, razor sharp, _ invested, _ spiking enough heat in Baekhyun to make his skin clammy with oncoming sweat.

Baekhyun wanted to say something, wanted to question what Minseok was doing, what was happening, why neither of them were running away screaming. But that look on Minseok's face was similar to that night in the club, Baekhyun realized. The sudden connection flooded Baekhyun's senses with the utmost desire to feel Minseok behind him, instead of in front this time, to feel Minseok's lips on his skin again, to turn around and ravish Minseok's mouth with his tongue, let Minseok and Jongdae wrap him up in their arms and do whatever the hell they wanted to him.

His grip tightened in Jongdae's hair, making him moan into Baekhyun's neck, and Minseok shifted where he stood, visibly swallowing but gaze never leaving Baekhyun's. "Fuck," Baekhyun whispered.

"I know," Jongdae murmured. "I feel it too—”

Finally kickstarting his limbs into action, Baekhyun used his grip on Jongdae's hair to pull his head back, and let Jongdae catch on for himself. Presumably following Baekhyun's gaze, Jongdae peered over his shoulder and immediately sank closer to Baekhyun, dripping in surprise. "Oh, fuck," Jongdae murmured. "How long have you—”

"Long enough," Minseok said, and it was just firm yet strained enough to send a tremor through Baekhyun's entire body. Minseok finally,  _ finally _ broke eye contact with Baekhyun, sliding his eyes over to Jongdae. "Are you done? Or should I put the pizza back in the oven to keep it warm?"

Baekhyun gawked at Jongdae when he full-body shivered against him, but Jongdae was already shaking his head. "Sorry," he said. "We should eat. Get the movies going."

Minseok only nodded, turning in place and heading back into the kitchen.

_ "What the fuck." _

Jongdae's eyes were wide. "Was he really just watching us?" he asked. "Were you two—”

"Just staring at each other?"  _ Like we both wanted him to join us? _ Baekhyun nodded. "Jongdae, I...have no idea what just happened."

"I...yeah, that was actually really unexpected." Jongdae pinched the bridge of his nose. "Are you good? I totally got carried away, I'm sorry—"

"I'm fine," Baekhyun breathed, though he wasn't able to ignore the strain in his boxers, the desire coursing through his veins. Whatever had just happened hadn't felt like anything Baekhyun had really experienced before, sexually.

He'd never considered himself an exhibitionist, but considering he always walked off stage a little hard after every single kissing scene with Jongdae, it kind of made perfect sense.

"God, this little trio of ours is full of surprises," Jongdae muttered as he gently extricated Baekhyun's limbs from his.

_ This little trio of ours. _

Baekhyun wrote off the swooshing in his belly as merely being hungry.

  
  
  


When he woke up the next morning, it was to sunlight streaming onto the sheets, and Jongdae breathing softly into his neck. Baekhyun turned his nose into Jongdae's hair and smiled.

A knock sounded at the door, and Baekhyun sleepily blinked over as his mom poked her head in. "Hi, baby," she whispered, kind eyes and grin brighter than ever.

Baekhyun's own lazy smile widened. "Hey, Ma," he murmured back. He made to ease himself from under Jongdae and get up, but his mom stopped him.

"No, no. My hug can wait. Rest. Lunch?"

"Yeah," Baekhyun whispered. "Please?"

His mother beamed and nodded. "Anything, darling. And then you can finally introduce me to  _ him." _

Baekhyun shook his head, laughing, but he nodded too. "Okay."

"Okay," she repeated, and blew him a kiss before quietly shutting the door behind her.

Sighing happily, Baekhyun pulled the covers higher over himself and Jongdae. It was somehow refreshing waking up in his childhood bedroom, though he'd lived in it just a year ago. Jongdae had made a scene of course when they arrived from Minseok's house the night before, about the kid pictures and League posters and his manga collection, but it felt right all the same, having Jongdae here. Not to mention being in his family home and near his mother, took a huge load off his shoulders, even if only temporarily.

"G'mornin'," Jongdae slurred, voice tickling Baekhyun's neck.

"Oh," Baekhyun startled. "Morning. Sorry, did we wake you?"

Jongdae stretched his legs and leaned in to kiss Baekhyun's neck. "Yeah. It's okay. Wakin' up with you like this is worth it."

Cheeks flushed, Baekhyun whispered, "It is nice, isn't it?"

"Mm-hmm...C’mere.” Jongdae, eyes half-closed, tugged until they were arranged the way he wanted, and pulled Baekhyun into the nicest good morning kiss he’d ever received. Their legs slowly tangled beneath the sheets, and by the time they were satisfied enough to give their lips a break, Jongdae was combing his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair. “How are you feeling after last night?” Jongdae asked, voice still dripping with sleep but remarkably alert all the same.

Baekhyun hummed, finding it hard to focus on much other than the sunlight in Jongdae’s hair. “I’m feeling like you tried to touch my dick under that blanket while Minseok was like two inches away.”

Jongdae whined. “It was a moment of weakness! I’ve always wanted to, I dunno, do naughty things under a blanket during a movie night with other people.” He huffed. “But I stopped! I’m sorry.”

Baekhyun couldn’t help but laugh, kissing the puff of Jongdae’s pout. “I’m not mad,” he promised. “I was just overwhelmed last night. Minseok...was weird, right?”

“Yeah,” Jongdae said, voice and gaze both faint. He snapped out of it. “How do you feel about that? Him...watching us?”

Baekhyun swallowed, mouth suddenly cotton-dry. His answering laugh was nervous at best. “I feel like I don’t need to think about that right now.” He kissed the corner of Jongdae’s mouth. “I’m gonna go brush my teeth.” Climbing out of bed, Baekhyun ignored Jongdae’s weak protests and dragged himself to the bathroom.

When they’d both freshened up a bit, both awakened a bit more, they stood at the end of Baekhyun’s bed, smiling softly at one another. The smell of Baekhyun’s mom’s famous vegetable soup drifted into the room.

“So...you’ve told your mom about me?” Jongdae murmured, hands slipping onto Baekhyun’s hips, lips curling up into a shy smile.

Baekhyun nodded. “I tell her everything.”

“Hmm. Even about your little dilemma with Minseok? And me?”

Baekhyun sighed, leaning into Jongdae’s embrace. He dipped his head to rest it in the crook of Jongdae’s neck. “She figured that out on her own.”

Jongdae hummed. “And what does she think?”

Chuckling, Baekhyun shook his head. “She definitely had an interesting solution. She’s a funny woman, though. Thinks big. Unrealistic.”

“Oh?” Jongdae pulled Baekhyun’s head back up, nudging their noses, then their mouths together. “The suspense is killing me,” he muttered into Baekhyun’s parted lips.

He scrunched his nose up, knowing it would sound silly out loud. "She said,  _ Hyunnie, darling, why don't all three of you just be together?" _ Baekhyun laughed, a little strained. "Silly, right?"

Jongdae pulled away enough to look directly in Baekhyun's eyes. "Is it?" he gently asked.

Baekhyun floundered, downright gaping, but really, Jongdae couldn't be serious. Jongdae couldn't possibly be stoking the embers of hope deep, deep,  _ deep _ in Baekhyun's heart.

_ "Breakfast is ready, boys!" _

The sound of his mother's voice made Baekhyun jump right out of Jongdae's arms. "We, uh, shouldn't keep her waiting," he said, all but lunging for the door.

He could almost swear he heard Jongdae sadly sigh behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are always, always appreciated! :D you can find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/baekville).


	4. Tornado Spiral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes walls have to come down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 4 = approx. 18k words

When Baekhyun stepped into the clean, crisp air of the lakeside, he made a point to leave the worst parts of himself in the car once the door was shut. He smiled at Minseok. "Why does coming here always instantly feel so nice?"

Minseok chuckled, passing by to ease the keys from Baekhyun's relaxed fingers and moving to the trunk. He opened it as Baekhyun met him there, and together they retrieved their backpacks. "I think that just means we don't get out enough, Baekhyunnie."

 _"Yeah,"_ Baekhyun half-whined, helping pull the cooler with their drinks and dinner out. "But we're homebodies. We _prefer_ staying in. We're not meant to spend all our time in nature."

Minseok smiled as they set the cooler on the ground. When they stood back up, he brushed his fingers through Baekhyun's hair, just once. "We have good memories here."

Baekhyun caught Minseok's hand, pressing it against his cheek. "Yeah. We do." Baekhyun turned his face more into Minseok's palm. It was cold, and Minseok was an undying warmth. "I can't believe your uncle is selling the land. What are we gonna do?"

"Find somewhere else special," Minseok easily answered. "The place doesn't matter, does it?"

Baekhyun pressed his smile into Minseok's skin. "I guess not. But I'm gonna miss it."

"Me too."

Minseok and Baekhyun had only known each other for a few months the first time they came to the cabin together, a couple of hours outside of town. Baekhyun's dad was having an intense surgery, and Minseok's parents offered to take Baekhyun off their hands for the weekend. Six-year-old Baekhyun had, admittedly, turned his nose up at the idea of going to the _woods_ —he was already too into video games for his own good—but he vividly remembered the sense of belonging he'd felt, sitting around the fire, splashing Minseok in the lake, that very first night under the stars.

The second night was when Minseok's older sister helped them onto the nook on the roof, and introduced them to stargazing.

Over time, it became Baekhyun and Minseok's tradition. At first, stargazing from the roof of the lake house was simply something for them to do when they visited; sneaking onto the roof made them giggle endlessly, loud enough to unwittingly let everyone around know exactly where they were. But when Baekhyun's father died, it became a place of solace, somewhere they could escape to, where Baekhyun felt safe enough to cry, to sleep on Minseok's chest, to talk about anything and everything he needed to.

When their families stopped visiting the cabin as often, Baekhyun and Minseok decided they would make a point to go back for meteor showers, because it gave them more to look at than the same old constellations, and an excuse to escape from reality, even if only for one night.

Tonight was the first meteor shower in a while, but the timing couldn't have been more perfect.

Letting each other go, Baekhyun and Minseok hoisted their backpacks onto their shoulders and each used a hand to lift the cooler again, carrying it between them as they made their way toward the familiar, quaint lake house that their families had been staying at for vacations and getaways since they met. The motion-sense light miraculously cut on when they stepped onto the porch—no one ever came here anymore—and Minseok dug in his pocket for the house keys.

They set the cooler down again and Baekhyun used the opportunity to rub some warmth into his upper arms. Minseok jiggled the doorknob and twisted the key until it finally opened before them. Then, biting his lip, Minseok turned to him. “You...really didn’t want to invite Jongdae?”

Baekhyun, only a little off-kilter at the sudden mention of his not-quite-boyfriend, shook his head. “This is our tradition, Min. Nothing will ever change that.”

Minseok reached over to run the back of his fingers down Baekhyun’s cheek, heat following the touch. "Traditions can change, yeah?"

Baekhyun's lips parted like they were waiting for him to speak, but the words didn't come for a minute. "Uh," he finally blurted. "Yeah. Of course. I just...this is our place."

"I know. I just didn't want you to think...you had to leave him out."

At that, Baekhyun softened. "I know. But this _is_ our thing. And...it hasn't been just us in a while."

Minseok nodded. "You're right."

In fact, Baekhyun couldn't remember when he had last spent time with Minseok without Jongdae around. Jongdae even came to their morning coffee dates now, playing footsies under the table and snoozing on Baekhyun's shoulder. They had fallen into the _weirdest_ fucking dynamic to Baekhyun, spending all their spare time together, falling asleep piled on top of each other on the couch, Minseok's touch fleeting along Baekhyun's back every time Jongdae kissed him.

It was weird, but it was comfortable, now. Mostly. Baekhyun was a weak man after all, and prone to letting his anxiety get the best of him, but he supposed at some point he had to grow a little used to the confusion he carried with him at all times. He'd learned to expect the usually undemonstrative Minseok's gentle, discreet touches. Baekhyun _craved_ them.

Though something told Baekhyun he wouldn't be able to handle spending the night in the middle of the woods with Minseok _alone,_ he also, somehow, felt like it could be a cure. At the very least, a reprieve from the intense feelings Baekhyun was always ridden with as of late. Once upon a time, Baekhyun was good at pretending to only be Minseok's friend, with merely the occasional slip here and there. But five months ago, Jongdae crashed into their lives, a catalyst of sorts, a spark desperate to ignite Baekhyun's heart, and Baekhyun had lost all control.

But doing something this meaningful to himself and Minseok, reliving a genuine tradition of theirs would set them, him, on a steadier course. Baekhyun was sure of it. He needed it.

"Are you hungry now?" Minseok asked when they'd flipped the breakers and made their way to the kitchen.

"I'm starving, actually." Baekhyun patted his stomach. "One of us can get the sandwiches my mom made for us ready and the other can get our things settled into our room?"

Minseok hummed. "You go do that. I'll sort this stuff out and start up a fire in the living room. It's freezing in here."

"Okay." Baekhyun squeezed Minseok's arm before taking his backpack from him and heading across the house.

Sharing a room was a bit of another tradition of theirs, mostly because as calming as these woods were to Baekhyun, he was still too frightened to sleep by himself, surrounded in darkness and the creepy noises of the trees. Minseok never had that problem, but even when they were kids, he never made fun of Baekhyun; he merely swore to protect him, always.

By the time they were fully settled in, fed and warmed by the fire, Baekhyun could almost forget that he was supposed to feel weird around Minseok. "Do you remember that time your sister made me cry?" he asked after they finished laughing about another obscure memory.

"Ahh," Minseok laughed, taking a quick swig of his beer. "When she had those masks and got kids from the other houses to help prank us."

Baekhyun hiccuped mid-wheeze, leaning into Minseok. "I really thought I was going to die!"

"Oh, I know," Minseok said, grin wide. "I can still hear your high-pitched scream."

"It's not funny!" Baekhyun whined, even though he was still laughing. "I _peed!"_

Minseok snorted into his hand, fully melting into laughter now. "It was the chanting. When they started chanting to sound like a cult—“

"They said my name!"

_"God."_

When they managed to calm down, Baekhyun nestled his head on the edge of Minseok's shoulder, a lazy smile on his face. This was exactly what he and Minseok needed, he knew it. Minseok hummed. "It's funny now," he said. "But I got so mad at her for doing that."

Baekhyun frowned. "Really?"

"Mm-hm. For scaring you like that. I was livid. It was around when everyone realized you were too scared to sleep here without someone else right next to you, so that was fresh on my mind I guess. I just wanted to keep you safe."

Baekhyun tried not to physically preen, but wasn't sure he succeeded. "Ah, Minseokkie," he murmured, hugging Minseok's arm. "You always have."

It didn't take long for them after that to realize they were about to be late for the meteor shower, so they gathered up the thickest blankets and a couple of bottles of Baekhyun's father's favorite flavor of soju. Then together, they climbed up the stairs to the attic and out onto the nook on the roof, which was just barely big enough for them now. They quickly made their pallet and sat as close as possible for the sake of body heat. And sharing the soju.

Baekhyun let the following peaceful silence wash over him, relaxed under the clear sky, among the trees’ breeze, the sound of the water of the lake crawling onto the shore making the best white noise. The silence hadn’t been his friend lately, only harboring his anxiety, but this...this was like coming home in a way that was different from stepping into his mother’s house.

As if Minseok could read his mind, he wrapped his arm snugly around Baekhyun’s waist and said, “It’s been way too long since we’ve done this, hasn’t it?”

Baekhyun could only nod, staring up at the sky as if it held all the answers. He smiled when he spotted his first meteor. “It’s starting,” he breathed, always captivated by these showers, and Minseok unscrewed the top on one of their soju bottles, offering it to Baekhyun first.

For a while, they didn’t say much, other than to point out clusters of meteors they spotted, or to ask for the soju bottle. It took finishing off the first one for Baekhyun to start feeling the alcohol buzzing beneath his skin, having had a couple of beers with their dinner as well. The buzz wanted him to talk, wanted him to chat Minseok’s ear off, but he found he wasn’t sure what to say, the desire translating to his hands instead, which were all but kneading Minseok’s thigh, cold and needing to touch.

It was Minseok who eventually broke the silence, pulling a thick blanket over their laps. “So Jongdae met your mom?” he asked.

Baekhyun couldn’t help his smile. “Mm-hmm.”

“How did it go? Did she like him?”

Baekhyun laughed. “She loves him. He charmed the hell out of her.”

“He’s awfully good at that, isn’t he?” Minseok was staring up at the sky, almost wistful, when Baekhyun looked at him.

“What?” Baekhyun giggled, pressing his chin into Minseok’s shoulder. “Did he charm you too?”

“Yes,” was Minseok’s quiet answer, slowly nodding at the stars. 

Baekhyun bit his lip, questions and that familiar confusion trying to rush in but he shoved it all away. This was a safe place. No room for bad feelings. He hummed, leaving one hand on Minseok’s thigh to dig out his phone with the other. “He wanted me to send him a pic of our view. I should before I forget…”

He pulled up the camera app on his phone and frowned as he tried to find an angle that had enough light. Minseok chuckled next to him. “Why don’t you just send a picture of us?” Baekhyun paused, blinking over at him in surprise. “It’s too dark to get anything else, right? Just use the front flash for us.”

“Okay,” Baekhyun agreed easily enough, and pressed closer, shifting his hand from Minseok’s thigh to Minseok’s ankle to brace himself, and pressing close enough that their cheeks almost touched. 

When he turned the right settings on, it ended up as a sort of tipsy selfie-spree. They took several photos at varying degrees of _normal,_ giggling endlessly the sillier they got. Until eventually, Baekhyun said, “Okay, okay, one more.”

He settled back into a smile, and counted down like he did for their first picture. Except this time, when he said _one,_ Minseok turned and pressed his lips against Baekhyun’s cheek. Just like that, Baekhyun’s heartbeat was deafening, but he still felt his face melt, his eyes close and his smile widen, just as the picture was taken.

When Baekhyun set his phone down in his lap, he turned to face Minseok, not bothering to hide his surprise. Minseok didn’t say anything, however, only smiling softly at Baekhyun.

After a moment of time stopping around them, Baekhyun practically shoved his head against Minseok’s shoulder, because if he kept staring into Minseok’s pretty eyes, Baekhyun _would_ kiss him. 

He didn’t think this safe space of theirs was safe enough for that.

They spent the next hour in relative silence, finishing off the soju quickly so they could lie down and watch the stars as they were meant to be watched.

“Hey Baekhyun?” Minseok murmured when Baekhyun cowered under the blankets and into Minseok’s side. It was getting way too cold for them to stay out much longer.

“Hmm…?”

“You...know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Baekhyun frowned, picking his head up to peer at him. “It’s just...I know you have Kyungsoo and now there’s Jongdae but...if you ever need something, you know I’m here, right?”

“Of _course_ I do, Min,” Baekhyun stressed. “And the same to you, you know?”

Minseok smiled at him, unburying his hand to stroke Baekhyun’s cheek with his thumb. “Yeah, I know.”

It was another half-hour, maybe, when Baekhyun was starting to shiver, lost in the stars, that he whispered, “Do you think it’s possible to love more than one person?”

There was only a beat of silence. “Absolutely,” Minseok answered, not a hint of hesitation in his voice.

“At the same time?”

“Yes, Baekhyunnie.”

Baekhyun pressed his cheek against Minseok’s arm, not sure how to follow up. Minseok lifted his arm to let him scoot closer.

He squeezed Baekhyun’s arm. “Life works in funny ways, doesn’t it?”

Baekhyun only nodded.

 

By the time they finally decided it was _go inside or freeze to death out here,_ they were mostly too tired and sluggish to function, the negative effects of the alcohol setting in easily once they laid down on the roof. They gathered their blankets and scurried inside, made instant hot chocolate, and sat by the fire to warm up more quickly.

Baekhyun shot off a few texts to Jongdae while Minseok freshened up for bed, and sent a couple of the pictures they took. He kept the cheek kiss photo for himself though, lost in the utter bittersweetness of it, the rosiness of their cheeks, the happiness in their expressions. He stared at it until Minseok reentered the room, exiting out of it before he could see. “Hey,” Baekhyun said, lazy smile stretching his mouth. His eyelids were already heavy, and Minseok looked to be in the same state. “Ready for bed?”

“Definitely,” Minseok answered, huffing out a laugh and sitting on the other side of the bed. “That was just enough alcohol tonight to put me to sleep.”

Baekhyun hummed and stretched his arms over his head, squeezing his eyes shut with the strain of it. A surprised yelp escaped his throat when he was suddenly tackled to the bed, Minseok’s arm hooking around his torso to drag him down with him. They laughed when Baekhyun opened his eyes and came face to face with a cheeky Minseok, pink-cheeked and handsome as ever. “I’m glad we came here this weekend, Baekhyunnie,” he said, and Baekhyun could see that Minseok meant that with every fiber of his being. Baekhyun melted.

“Me too, Min,” he murmured, bravely reaching over and cupping Minseok’s cheek in his hand. “Me too.”

Patting Baekhyun’s hand, Minseok’s grin softened. “Alright, let’s sleep. We have to make it back for rehearsal tomorrow night.”

Baekhyun puffed his bottom lip out but nodded, working with Minseok to pull the covers from under them and settle comfortably. Without too much hesitation, Baekhyun waited for Minseok to turn the lamp next to them off before squirming closer, resting his head on Minseok’s chest. “Goodnight, Minseok.”

Minseok yawned and wrapped Baekhyun in his arms. “Goodnight, Baek.”

Silence settled over them. The trees scraping the windows didn’t sound so bad with Minseok holding him, and if he listened hard enough, he could still hear the gentle waves of the lake in the wind. It wasn’t long before Baekhyun could no longer keep his eyes open, and Minseok’s breaths had slowed beneath Baekhyun's cheek. 

Just when Baekhyun could feel sleep tugging him under completely, Minseok’s sleep-filled voice filled the space around them. "Sometimes I wonder..." he mumbled, barely coherent. Baekhyun smoothed his hand up and down Minseok's side to show he was listening. "...if everything would...be different..."

Baekhyun hummed, struggling to remain awake and pulling the blankets higher only to have his hand trapped by an affectionate Minseok. Their fingers entwined and silence stretched on, so Baekhyun exhaustedly prompted, "Everything would be different...?"

"Everything..." Minseok breathed, drifting further and further, words barely coherent as he muttered, "If we'd never kissed...when we...teenagers..."

The room grew much colder, then, as Baekhyun’s eyes peeled open and he stared into the darkness. He’d never entertained such a thought, despite his knack for overthinking things. If he and Minseok had never kissed, would Baekhyun have fallen in love with Minseok? (Yes.) How long would it have taken Baekhyun to fall? During Minseok’s relationship with Max? After? Would he have fallen when he was braver than he was at sixteen?

Maybe it didn’t really matter in the end, because they _did_ kiss when they were teenagers. But at the forefront of the battle constantly raging inside Baekhyun was now the pressing question: _why did it matter to Minseok?_

+++

>> **bloomingdays:jongdae**  
 _T_T_

>> **bloomingdays:junmyeon**  
_???_

>> **bloomingdays:seulgi**  
_????_

>> **bloomingdays:jongdae**  
_YOU GUYS T_T_

>> **bloomingdays:taeyeon**  
_baekhyun please collect your man_

>> **bloomingdays:seulgi**  
_what is even happening? lmao_

 **bloomingdays:baekhyun** <<  
-__-

 **bloomingdays:baekhyun** <<  
_he seems to think that us having our_  
_last rehearsal of the year is the end_  
_of the world_

>> **bloomingdays:taeyeon**  
_dae, you big dummy, we have_  
_more rehearsals after winter break_

>> **bloomingdays:minseok**  
_yes we’ve tried telling him that. but_  
_he won’t stop whining -_-_

>> **bloomingdays:jongdae**  
_WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITHOUT_  
_YOU GUYS FOR A WHOLE MONTH?!_

>> **bloomingdays:jaehyun**  
_lol awwwww_

>> **bloomingdays:minseok**  
_please don’t encourage him_

 **bloomingdays:baekhyun** <<  
_just smile and nod everyone_

>> **bloomingdays:taeyeon**  
_lmao i’m sure you guys will keep_  
_each other plenty busy over the break ;)_

 **bloomingdays:baekhyun** <<  
_??????????????????_

>> **bloomingdays:minseok**  
_???_

>> **bloomingdays:jongdae**  
_:D_

>> **bloomingdays:junmyeon**  
_Anyway! Everyone still coming to_  
_my party this weekend?_

 **bloomingdays:baekhyun** <<  
_wouldn’t miss it!!!!_

+++

"Yixing, do these pants make me look fat?"

Baekhyun pouted, hands on his hips as he waited for Yixing's approval. Yixing finished patting in some concealer under his perpetual dark undereyes—the guy never slept, really—before turning and scrutinizing Baekhyun's choice of tight pants. Baekhyun chewed on his cheek; he felt nervous for some silly reason, mostly because he'd gotten the sudden desire to go all out for the end of semester party with his castmates. He hadn't dressed himself up in so long, but part of him wanted to _impress._ He was meeting Jongdae and Minseok at Junmyeon's family's mansion just to be able to _surprise_ them. Him? Them? Baekhyun had no idea what he was doing anymore.

"I don't know, come closer, Baekhyunnie," Yixing murmured, determined eyes focused around Baekhyun's hips. Baekhyun obeyed, scrunching his nose when Yixing started circling him. He paused, drawing a yelp from Baekhyun when Yixing graciously squeezed his ass. "Nope, you look great, pup."

Baekhyun whined, spinning around to face his friend. "Did you only have me come closer so you could grab my ass?"

Yixing shrugged. "Well, it _is_ a nice ass." He patted Baekhyun's cheek and moved back to his mirror, picking up a pot of eye shadow and some eyeliner, clearly debating the two. "Deserves appreciation, y'know?"

"Stop it," Baekhyun whined again, covering his blushing cheeks with his hands.

Yixing paused and narrowed his eyes at him. "Does Jongdae appreciate your ass enough? Because I can talk to him—"

 _"Please_ don't give him any ideas. Oh my god."

"I'll take that as a _no,"_ Yixing scoffed, vivid disgust on his face. He sighed. "What a waste..."

Determined to steer the conversation _away_ from his butt, Baekhyun pointed at the makeup in Yixing's hands. "Don't know which one you want to wear?"

Yixing hummed. "These are for you, pup." His smile was nothing if not mischievous. "You put on the party pants—“

"—They're _literally_ leather leggings—"

"—so you've committed to the full look."

Baekhyun sighed. “What are you gonna do to me?”

“Bring back the old you, of course.”

 

It wasn’t that Junmyeon’s party was a _rager_ or anything, but there was a sizeable cast and crew for the musical, and most everyone had mentioned bringing a guest or two. So when Baekhyun and Yixing arrived together, late, the party was in full swing already. A constant buzz of chatter and laughter, loud music, dancing bodies, and Baekhyun could smell the alcohol in the air already.

He and Yixing turned toward a catcall with equally suspicious gazes, but Baekhyun snorted when he saw Ten and a few of the other dancers piled on a couch in the corner with drinks. They cheered and beckoned Yixing over, which meant they were officially separated as a body crashed into Baekhyun’s and stopped him from following. “Go get ‘em, pup,” Yixing called over his shoulder with a smirk, and Baekhyun shook his head, steadying Taeyeon in his arms.

“Holy fuck, Byun!” she exclaimed, taking Baekhyun’s arms in her hands and appraising him. “You look amazing! You haven’t dressed up like this since—“

“Yeah, yeah.” Baekhyun huffed. “I look like fucking Danny Zuko. Minus the hair. Thank god I have my normal hair.” After the leather pants, Yixing had only thrown a black t-shirt at him to wear with them, and had decided against the smokey eye he wanted to give Baekhyun, only putting some eyeliner on him. _Less is more, in this case, I think,_ he’d said.

“Fuck Danny Zuko!” Taeyeon yelled, which drew attention to her loose smile and rosy cheeks. “You’re dressed to _win_ tonight!”

Baekhyun couldn’t help but laugh. “How much have you had to drink already, huh?”

She scrunched her nose and pinched her fingers together. “This much,” she swore. “Maybe I helped Jun set up and pre-gamed a little bit.”

“Just a little bit?” Baekhyun humored her, playfully bumping their noses as they laughed and letting her drag him to a small cluster of people dancing in the center of the room.

“Hey, you made it!” Junmyeon greeted him, cheeks much redder than Taeyeon’s. Clearly she wasn’t the only one who _pre-gamed._ Like magic—or maybe it just came with being rich—someone, a server, appeared next to Baekhyun and handed him a drink, just before he was sucked deeper into the group. He knew they wouldn’t let him leave until he danced at least a few songs with them, so he merely accepted his fate, smirking to himself at the idea of making Jongdae wait just a little longer.

 

By the time his castmates _did_ release him from the makeshift dance floor, Baekhyun was two and a half drinks in, entire body buzzing, veins dripping with a combination of excitement and desire. It was less sexual and more just… _need._ For Jongdae’s touch. Jongdae’s attention.

He was sent on a goose chase then, finding a lead with one person— _”he’s in the game room, man—_ only to be stopped by someone else who wanted to talk, or drink, or dance. Every time Baekhyun finally broke free again, Jongdae was no longer in the place someone had told him, and Baekhyun was starting to wonder if this was being done on purpose.

It was by the indoor pool—because the Kims had _two_ pools—that Baekhyun finally had some luck, or luck finally found him. 

Hands slipped onto his hips from behind, making him yelp and spin around. The sight of Jongdae’s sparkling eyes and curly smile instantly eased any remaining tension in Baekhyun’s limbs and he swayed into Jongdae’s warmth, beaming as Jongdae murmured, “Finally,” right into his waiting lips.

Baekhyun ignored the people on the other side of the pool _whooping_ when he tossed his arms around Jongdae’s neck and giggled into kiss after satisfying kiss. He only shuddered a little, thanks to the alcohol no doubt, when Jongdae’s hands slid from his hips onto his backside. “Were you looking for me?” Baekhyun asked, tone sweet and maybe a little needy, before diving back in for another taste of whatever strawberry drink Jongdae had consumed recently.

“Couldn’t...find you anywhere…” Jongdae muttered in between hungry presses of lips. “You look fucking amazing…” His hands sunk a little further down and Baekhyun sighed. “Minseok and I were making drinks and...mmm...heard you were out here.”

“Yeah?”

“So Min sent me to find you…”

 _”Get a room!”_ someone, who sounded suspiciously like Jongdae’s roommate Sehun, yelled.

Baekhyun flipped them off before sinking that hand into Jongdae’s hair, tugging it just enough to hear Jongdae whimper. 

“We made a strawberry drink...just for you,” Jongdae said, slowly dragging his lips to the corner of Baekhyun’s mouth and pressing a kiss there.

“I can taste it,” Baekhyun whispered.

“Fuck,” Jongdae whispered back. “That’s sexy.”

Baekhyun laughed. “You saying that made it decidedly less sexy.”

Jongdae whined, but as if he needed to offset the sudden light mood, he slowly, slowly tightened his grip on Baekhyun’s ass, squeezing it _appreciatively._ “Mm, you know, Yixing was right. I _don’t_ appreciate your ass enough—”

Baekhyun groaned. “Oh no.”

“—and he gave me a very stern talking to about that. Which, really, that was a first—”

_”Jongdae.”_

Jongdae cleared his throat, cutting his rambling short. “You know…” He planted a lethargic kiss next to Baekhyun’s ear. “He also gave me some tips. Some...mmm...really good ways to appreciate you...with my tongue.”

Baekhyun’s resulting laugh was loud, high-pitched, borderline hysterical. It was a reflex, really, just like pushing Jongdae clean into the pool next to them.

Because that was _exactly_ what he did.

“Oh my god,” Baekhyun wheezed, covering his mouth with his hands as people cheered around him, and Jongdae frantically resurfaced, gasping for air. “Oh my god. Are _you okay?”_

Jongdae looked torn between shock and the desire to laugh. “Uhh? I guess so? What the fuck, Baek—”

“Great!” Baekhyun, running on pure fear and embarrassment now, took off for the nearest door, throwing himself into the house, down the hallway, and into what he was ninety percent sure was a closet.

 _Holy shit,_ was Baekhyun _twelve?_ He’d never be able to show his face again; he fucking _shoved_ Jongdae into a pool and left him there— 

“Baekhyun?” A light clicked on, and Baekhyun pondered why fate had it out for him, honestly, because he was somehow in the closet with _Minseok,_ of all people.

 _”What are you doing in a closet, Min?”_ Oh, Baekhyun was still wheezing. Great.

Minseok frowned at him. “What are _you_ doing in a closet?”

“I—you first.”

Minseok chuckled and shook his head, turning back to the towel rack—ah, this was the linen closet—and answering, “I spilled a drink in the kitchen, so I came to get some towels to clean it up. Your turn.”

“Uhh…” Baekhyun gulped, concerning himself with making sure the door was really closed behind him. “I, uh, may have pushed Jongdae into the pool in a fit of uhh, gay panic, let’s say.”

Minseok peered at him over his shoulder, one eyebrow cocked. “You did what?”

“Ha ha ha, yeah…”

“Baek, it’s _winter.”_

“It was the indoor pool!”

Minseok snorted. “Rich people,” he muttered. “Did you just leave him in there? Or are you in here to get towels?”

“Let’s...pretend I’m a better person than I am and say I’m here to get towels.” 

_”Baek.”_

“Listen, I’m drunk and I’m gay and—”

 _”Baekhyunnie…”_ Jongdae’s voice sang from the other side of the door. Baekhyun widened his eyes at Minseok, who was not paying attention to Baekhyun’s face at all, actually. Baekhyun gaped when he realized Minseok’s gaze was centered around Baekhyun’s hips, an almost hungry tinge to them.

“Minseok…” Baekhyun whispered, and when that lust was lifted to meet Baekhyun’s eyes, he shuddered. The last time they were in a closet like this…

In his distraction, he loosened his grip on the doorknob, giving Jongdae the perfect opportunity to slip inside the closet with them, dripping wet, because _of course he would._ The tight string of tension between Baekhyun and Minseok loosened again, and Baekhyun spluttered, “Fuck, Jongdae, I’m—”

“Well, isn’t this cozy?” Jongdae said, grinning at them both. The closet had felt so big when it was only Baekhyun and Minseok, but now that Jongdae was with them, he realized there was really no room at all. “Someone directed me here for towels, and then I heard Baekhyun-ah’s voice.”

“Yep, yeah, yes, I was—getting towels. That’s what I was doing. For you.”

Jongdae smirked and Minseok rolled his eyes, turning back to the towel rack. Jongdae moved closer, presumably to help, until, “Jongdae, get your hand off my ass.”

Before Baekhyun could even react, Jongdae peeked over his shoulder and winked. “Don’t pout, baby, _you_ got me all wet.”

“Jesus christ, Dae,” Minseok said as Baekhyun just bent over, hands on his knees.

“I need a drink,” he panted. “Or five.”

“Me too,” Minseok surprisingly chimed in, and together, Baekhyun and Minseok bolted from the closet.

 _”Guys!”_ Jongdae whined behind them, but they ignored him in favor of coming face to face with Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, expressions a little too curious for Baekhyun’s liking.

“Uhhh…” he said. “This isn’t what it looks like.”

Kyungsoo opened his mouth to say something, but was instantly cut off by a distressed Jongdae shouting, _“Finish what you started Byun!”_

“Oh really?” Chanyeol asked, laughing nervously. “Not what it looks like? Ha ha, of course!”

Kyungsoo set Baekhyun with a firm look. “Baekhyun.”

_”Guysss, don’t leave me here when you got me all wet!”_

“Oh my god,” Minseok muttered. He pinched the bridge of his nose and headed straight in the direction of the kitchen.

“You guys—” Baekhyun huffed, frantically glancing between Minseok, his roommates, and the door Jongdae was still standing behind. “Jongdae needs new clothes—please.”

“I’m not babysitting your not-boyfriend,” Kyungsoo said.

 _”Please._ I will like, do your laundry for a week or whatever kind of deal I’m supposed to make now—bye!” Instead of waiting for a response, Baekhyun ran after Minseok, deciding he really did need that drink they mentioned. Or five.

The drinks Minseok had been mixing were miraculously still there when they rushed into the kitchen area—one spilled, but two in good standing—and Minseok slid the pink one over to Baekhyun. Minseok picked up the whiskey-colored drink and together, they chugged the alcohol as fast as they possibly could. Baekhyun shuddered when he recognized the taste from Jongdae’s tongue.

There was actually a stocked bar attached to the kitchen, so with a quick glance at one another, they moved there, Minseok automatically stepping behind it and grabbing the expensive tequila. He poured them each two shots, and Baekhyun watched as Minseok’s cheeks reddened though he was lost deep in thought.

They tossed back one shot. Baekhyun grimaced. “Why do you need the drinks, huh?” He sat down at one of the barstools. He was drinking far too quickly for his tolerance level. The room was becoming a little wobbly.

Minseok downed his second shot, then pulled a glass and a whiskey bottle toward himself. He hummed, filling half the glass. “Jongdae…” He cleared his throat. “...stresses me out.” He put the whiskey away, set the tequila on the countertop, and rounded the bar, taking the seat next to Baekhyun. He rested a hand on Baekhyun’s thigh as he took two large gulps of his whiskey, making Baekhyun cringe. Whiskey always burned his throat too badly.

“Why...does he stress you out?” Not sure he _really_ wanted to know, Baekhyun fiddled with his second tequila shot, deciding to go ahead and drink it.

“Because—“

“There my little deserters are!”

Baekhyun and Minseok turned to each other with wide eyes, and Baekhyun peered over his shoulder to smile nervously at Jongdae as he approached. A giggle slipped from Baekhyun’s lips however at the sight of him. “What are you wearing?”

“Oh, this old thing?” Jongdae tugged at the green and red, ugly Christmas sweater that was probably three times too big for him. He had decided, apparently, to pair it with leather pants that looked identical to Baekhyun’s. “I only chose Junmyeon’s finest clothes.”

Curious, Minseok took a peek finally, and snorted. “Is that right?”

Jongdae shrugged, beelining for Baekhyun, slipping his arms around his torso and kissing his cheek, then his neck. “He has a downstairs closet, because that’s a thing apparently. I don’t think he’d touched it in years.”

Baekhyun turned his head as much as he could, searching for Jongdae’s gaze, but he got his lips instead, Jongdae pressing an insistent kiss to his mouth. “Sorry for pushing you in the pool,” Baekhyun murmured between pecks. He shivered when Minseok’s hand slid toward the inside of his thigh.

Jongdae shook his head. “Sorry for being so forward, babe.” He lifted one of his hands to cup Baekhyun’s face, holding it in place for more kisses. “Tequila makes me fucking horny.” Baekhyun wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of the statement, but Jongdae slipped his tongue into their next kiss, and the hand between his thighs dove deeper, massaging his sensitive skin. Baekhyun squeezed his legs together, trapping Minseok’s hand and upping his own arousal. 

“Geez, this is a kitchen,” Seulgi’s voice rang out behind them. Baekhyun’s legs were suddenly cold where Minseok’s hand had been.

Jongdae hummed before finally releasing Baekhyun’s mouth. “This is a bar,” he said. Baekhyun worked on catching his breath (and pouring another shot of tequila for himself.)

 _”And_ a kitchen,” Seulgi insisted. 

Minseok took the bottle from Baekhyun, whose hands were trembling too much to cleanly do anything. He poured three shots using their shot glasses from before. Baekhyun threw one back while Jongdae and Seulgi bickered.

The warmth, the burn felt good going down his throat, and somehow managed to calm him down. He took subtle deep breaths as he watched Seulgi go behind the bar, grab a bottle of vodka, and leave again. Jongdae picked up one of the two remaining tequila shots and drank it before Baekhyun could stop him. “What? You’re just gonna drink _more_ tequila?” Baekhyun questioned.

Jongdae shrugged as Minseok took his. “I think you’ve seen the worst of it. It’ll be fine.”

 

A little voice in Baekhyun's head told him to stop drinking. _He told himself_ to stop drinking, but when he, Minseok, and Jongdae found their way into a group of people dancing in the living room, he accepted the drinks servants offered them, again and again. The only thing he figured they all had going for them was that they all accepted food as well, which surely absorbed _some_ of their alcohol. _(Right?)_

Either way, the world became much blurrier, but it also became much easier to let Jongdae's embrace swallow him whole, and to pull Minseok in right along with him. He held onto them both for dear life, even when, maybe especially when, Jongdae started sucking a deep, deep hickey into his neck from behind.

Taeyeon kicked them out of the dance circle eventually for being too sleazy, so they stumbled their way through the mansion to find somewhere more private at Jongdae's insistence. Instead, they stumbled right into a room next to the game room where they found Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, Jaehyun, and some of Yixing's dancers playing drunken Cards Against Humanity.

Without even consulting his...dates? Friends? People? He fell right into the open space next to Kyungsoo, begging to be dealt in while Jongdae and Minseok took the couch across from Baekhyun, apparently not playing the game. He pouted at them and Minseok scrunched up his nose, nudging his chin in the direction of Chanyeol, who was trying to hand him some cards. When Baekhyun looked back at the pair on the couch, Minseok was settling comfortably under Jongdae's arm, and Jongdae was winking at Baekhyun.

The state of his...people...on the couch made Baekhyun antsy the entire time he played cards with his friends. He couldn't stop staring at the way they cuddled on the couch, the way they whispered, the way it looked an awful lot like their words into each other's ears included kisses.

He was pretty sure his fidgeting was why Kyungsoo was the first to give up on their game, muttering something about trying to remember where the bathroom was in this hellscape, and once Kyungsoo threw the towel in, the rest caved like dominoes. "Chanyeollie," Baekhyun whined, when even he struggled to get to his feet. "I wanna play."

"Ugh," Chanyeol cried out. "Why is your pout like magic, Baek? I wanna watch Lisa crush Ten in Mario Kart!" He helped a still-pouting Baekhyun to his feet. "Besides, we can't play this game with only two people."

Baekhyun crossed his arms over his chest. "We could come up with funny cards, still!"

 _"Baekhyun."_ Chanyeol's whine was one to match his own, or Jongdae's even.

"Baek, baby, why don't you join us over here?" Jongdae asked, and Baekhyun jumped. For just a second, he'd forgotten his internal dilemma cuddled up on the couch.

He turned his frown on them. "But Cards Ag— _AH, Chanyeol put me down!"_

Chest rumbling with laughter against Baekhyun's arm, Chanyeol shook his head, carrying him bridal style over to the couch. He unceremoniously dumped him onto Jongdae and Minseok's laps and Baekhyun screeched.

Chanyeol’s booming laugh echoed across the room before he exited—slurring something about finding Kyungsoo—while Baekhyun struggled to sit upright so he could get off Jongdae and Minseok’s laps.

Only once Baekhyun managed it, he was nose to nose with Jongdae—not an unwelcome position—an arm tossed around his neck and his legs tossed across Minseok’s thighs. Baekhyun held his breath, searched Jongdae’s foggy gaze. Jongdae was openly horny and Baekhyun maybe was a little bit too, and Minseok was literally _under him_ right now, so inviting a heady makeout was definitely a bad idea...but Baekhyun’s inhibition was out the window. He knew he’d consumed too much alcohol, but aside from that, Jongdae’s hand was so fucking warm where it slipped under Baekhyun’s shirt, so really, that was all it took for him to close the hair’s-width space left between their mouths, pressing, pressing, pressing. Until his nose dug into Jongdae’s perfectly sculpted cheek and them parting their lips meant nothing but exchanging each other’s carbon dioxide just before Jongdae’s tongue slipped into Baekhyun’s mouth, extricating a moan from deep in Baekhyun’s chest that could barely be heard over the pounding of his heart.

Baekhyun, no longer in control of his goddamn body, was starting to curl up, get every inch of himself closer to Jongdae who tasted _so good_ for someone who had drank enough tequila to smell like it. But Baekhyun was whimpering into their constant string of kisses anyway, getting worked up like he never quite had before.

And then something yanked his hand that had just sunk into Jongdae’s hair away, startling Baekhyun enough for him to pull back.

Chest utterly heaving, as if he ran a marathon rather than made out with Jongdae Kim, Baekhyun’s swimming vision landed on a carefully stoic Minseok, who was, in fact, still under Baekhyun’s legs, front row to the show they just put on.

But there was something in _the way_ Minseok was angry, in the way Minseok tugged on him that had Baekhyun maneuvering and stumbling on his knees until he was straddling Minseok’s lap, suddenly fucking _done_ with holding back. Just like he hadn’t with Jongdae, Baekhyun didn’t think before closing the minuscule gap between them, sweeping down for a far more passionate kiss than either one of them could probably handle while so inebriated, but they tried it anyway. 

Even in Baekhyun’s drunken mind, it was as if the universe realigned.

They nearly fell over when Minseok surged forward, making Baekhyun gasp with every squeeze to the back of his neck, his hip, his ass, every little nip at his lips. “Baekhyun,” Minseok whispered with so much determination, right into Baekhyun’s mouth as everything slowed down around them, until there was nothing to worry about but their labored breathing and hearts beating together as they stole kiss after life-changing, heart-wrenching kiss. _Fuck,_ Baekhyun loved Minseok so much—

“Fuck,” Jongdae’s crisp voice suddenly rang out next to them. The couch shifted while Minseok pulled away and Baekhyun chased his sweet mouth for more. “You’ve been holding that in for way too long.”

Something in the back of Baekhyun’s mind was telling him he should laugh nervously, play off the comment and act like he didn’t have feelings for his best friend only because Minseok was _right there._ Habit, he supposed. But before he could even remotely decide on what excuse to spit out, his brain short-circuited, jaw falling open, pulse racing, as he watched Jongdae’s gentle hands draw Minseok into a kiss of his own. While Baekhyun was still on Minseok’s lap.

_Holy fucking shit._

Baekhyun was sure he had no breath left in his lungs, but he couldn’t stop himself from groaning when Minseok’s hand groped his ass a little tighter, his tongue visibly sliding against Jongdae’s between their lips. Baekhyun just didn’t know what to _do_ or what to do with his _hands._ He wanted to _touch,_ god, he wanted to touch them _both_ so badly, _how did he end up here?_

With sudden flashes, sensational memories, of mouths working his neck in the dim light of a club, leaving their marks, however, Baekhyun found himself drawn to the expanse of Minseok’s neck that was exposed—now that Jongdae’s tongue was down his throat—and sunk down to kiss it, taking skin between his teeth, sucking, licking stripes until suddenly Minseok was gasping, totally unraveling beneath them, moaning helplessly into Jongdae’s lips and gently bucking his hips as if he couldn’t control it.

So, cautiously, Baekhyun rolled his own hips down, rubbing their crotches together and Minseok _keened._ “Th-This okay?” Baekhyun gritted through his teeth that were pressed against Minseok’s neck. He didn’t roll his hips again until he heard some kind of confirmation, but their crotches remained firmly pressed together anyway, and the pressure, the pleasure, pulsed through Baekhyun’s veins, thumping in time with his frantic heart.

“Fuck— _yes_ it’s okay, Baekhyunnie, of course it’s—”

Minseok's words were cut off by the sudden way Baekhyun undulated his body, starting up a rhythm and pulling moans from Minseok's gut like he was fishing for them. Baekhyun left mark after mark on Minseok's neck, preening when Jongdae took up the other side. Minseok was so beautiful like this, Minseok deserved every ounce of love being poured between them right then.

Baekhyun and Jongdae’s chins bumped, and Baekhyun exhaled shakily. He full-body shuddered when Jongdae slid over, trailing his lips along Baekhyun’s jaw until he reached his neck. Baekhyun whimpered against Minseok's skin as Jongdae lapped at his neck. He threw his head back, his turn to be on the receiving end of two mouths hot and biting against his skin. He moaned through the way Minseok desperately murmured, “My beautiful Baekhyunnie,” into his ear. Whatever he remembered feeling that night in the club was nothing compared to this.

They were both hard by now, rutting like angsty teenagers—and really, why was this a thing for Baekhyun now? Before Jongdae, Baekhyun hadn't come in his pants since he was fifteen when a pretty girl kissed his neck and he thought he had reached some kind of sex god achievement. It wasn't like the thought of it now wasn't appealing, of course, not with Minseok beneath him this way, not with his hand being guided until it was cupping Jongdae's—also hard—crotch. Jongdae rutted into it, Baekhyun gently squeezed. He would never get over the melodic way Jongdae's moans always fell from his lips.

But even with that in mind, Baekhyun didn't know whose moans were more beautiful.

Fingers slid over his hand cupping Jongdae's cock, Minseok's fingers, squeezing, sending an electric buzz through his veins that clashed head-on with the electric jolt where Minseok's free hand grabbed him by the hair, dragging him into a filthy kiss. "Min— _ah—Min..."_ Baekhyun cried out when Minseok dragged his bottom lip between his teeth, hips stuttering over Minseok's eager thrusts. Baekhyun's legs were getting tired, but he couldn't stop even if he wanted to.

"God, I could watch you two all day," Jongdae whispered around a quiet moan, like he was desperate to remain a participant, but not interrupt Baekhyun and Minseok all the same.

 _"The things you do to me,"_ Minseok gasped just before Baekhyun slipped his tongue between his lips, chasing the spice of whiskey lingering in Minseok's mouth. "Baek— _faster. Please."_

Baekhyun struggled for breath as he slipped his hand from under Minseok's—encouraging Minseok's to stay—so he could slip both of his hands into Minseok's hair and use it for leverage, Jongdae's hand sliding onto his ass to help steady Baekhyun as he rolled his hips harder, quicker. Gasping. Panting. Minseok's kiss-swollen lips responding to every nudge, lick, nibble.

"'M close," Baekhyun eventually breathed out, eyes squeezed shut as pleasure bloomed within him, and Minseok nodded frantically against him, _"Me too,"_ quick to leave his lips.

“What the—”

Baekhyun's eyes flew open just as Minseok came with high pitched sighs against his collarbone, trembling, hips jerking. He sounded _amazing_ and Baekhyun was _missing it_ because he was staring over his shoulder at Kyungsoo in the doorway, who was watching them with wide, befuddled eyes.

“I was...looking for Ch—I’m too drunk to process this. Wrap it before you tap it or whatever—bye.” Kyungsoo stumbled when he instantly turned, catching himself with his hand on the door frame. Baekhyun bit his lip as he watched, the part of him that was still very drunk felt a giggle bubble up in his chest at the sight, but something niggled at the back of his mind, too, telling him he didn't think Chanyeol ever closed the door, so anyone could have seen them, really.

Minseok seemed to be frozen under Baekhyun, hiding behind him and murmuring with Jongdae, too indecipherable for Baekhyun’s buzzing brain. _What if someone saw us?_

“Baekhyunnie.” A hand slid along his jaw after Kyungsoo closed the door for them, pulling his chin until he was facing Jongdae, and wow Baekhyun really loved Jongdae’s cat-like smile... “My apartment’s right down the street.”

“Huh?” Baekhyun asked, eyes hung on the curly corners of Jongdae’s lips.

Minseok’s hand slid from Baekhyun’s butt, slipping under his shirt instead, rubbing his back. Baekhyun pressed into the touch without thinking. His skin was on fire, set ablaze with pleasure, and how good it felt to be touched by them both.

“Do you…wanna get outta here?” Jongdae’s thumb traced Baekhyun’s lips, which automatically parted. Jongdae slipped his thumb between them and Baekhyun sucked it a little deeper into his mouth, tongue slowly lapping at it, eyelids fluttering. “Fuck, Baekhyun—“ Jongdae quickly replaced his thumb with his own tongue, reducing Baekhyun to a whimpering mess in a matter of seconds. “My apartment,” Jongdae panted against him. “The three of us. Now.”

Baekhyun nodded, too turned on to ever deny such a suggestion, but he turned to Minseok before he got up and swooped in for another kiss, more lethargic this time. Minseok was clearly still hazy from his orgasm.

Pulling Minseok’s lip between his teeth, Baekhyun finally backed away, climbing backward until his feet were on the ground, hands resting on the couch on either side of Minseok’s thighs. “Do you wanna?” Baekhyun murmured. The room was spinning a bit, but Minseok was blushing the prettiest shade of pink and Jongdae was touching the curve of his ass in this position, so he didn't care.

Minseok nodded.

+++

The blaring headache Baekhyun woke up with the next morning was potentially the _worst_ thing he’d ever experienced in all of his existence.

He groaned, shielding his eyes against the sunlight peeking through the window blinds. Not only was he in tear-inducing pain, he was fucking sweaty and sticky and he smelled and—god, he needed a shower.

He made to roll over and out of bed, and that was when it clicked that one: this wasn’t his bedroom window blinding him and he wasn’t in his own bed, and two: he was overheating because someone was half on top of him, snoring softly in his ear.

“Jongdae,” he complained under his breath, blinking up at the ceiling of what was definitely Jongdae’s room. It was a better alternative than staring into the murderous sunlight, and he was determined to blink away any and all fuzziness before he got a good look at his not-boyfriend. Because he wasn’t sure what they did, but Baekhyun was _very_ naked which is something he had _not_ ever been around Jongdae before. He’d rather remember before he started freaking out, but he— 

The bed shifted on _the other side of him_ and he glanced in mere surprise when a new arm threw itself around him, just in time to see _Jongdae_ nestle his head against Baekhyun’s chest. “Holy shit,” Baekhyun whispered, chest inflating with panic. If that was Jongdae, then who was—

Baekhyun gaped when he angled his head just right to see Minseok’s lips almost pressed against his shoulder, body just as naked as Baekhyun’s everywhere it was pressed against him. “Oh-Oh my god,” Baekhyun whispered.

Fuzzy memories came crashing down on Baekhyun all at once; mostly he just remembered making out with Jongdae multiple times throughout the night, but also climbing onto Minseok’s lap to include him too, the last time. But Baekhyun—his breath hitched when he remembered desperately rutting against Minseok, kissing and being touched by them both. A cool breeze refreshing his skin as they stumbled down the street to here, to Jongdae’s apartment. 

The sheets were just as cool as the breeze when Minseok pressed Baekhyun into them, shirts discarded somewhere around the door, everyone’s pants being tugged off by a helpful Jongdae. He remembered that feeling as much as the surge of pleasure when Minseok took both of their cocks in his hand. _My love._ Baekhyun’s lips tingled with the memory of those words being whispered into them.

_I’m yours. Take all of me._

Everything else came to him in flashes. Minseok unraveling him. Baekhyun on top of Jongdae. Jongdae on top of Minseok. All three of them were always touching despite who was paired up, panting and kissing and moaning until Baekhyun and Jongdae came, and Minseok came again.

Baekhyun was last. He was on his side, facing Minseok, Minseok’s hand on his dick, Minseok’s mouth on his, while Jongdae was behind him, panting against the back of his neck and coming between his thighs.

Come. Baekhyun was sticky with come. _All three of theirs._

_What had he done?_

Deep breaths. Deep breaths and a careful disentanglement later, Baekhyun was out of bed and stumbling around the room, trying to see his clothes on the floor through teary eyes. How would he get out of this? How would he play it off if they asked him why he kissed them both? How would he keep his clusterfuck-feelings to himself after he’d made it _so_ clear despite being drunk how much he cares about them? 

_Minseok, Min, I—ah—love you. I love you._

_You’re so-so beautiful, Jongdae—I...fuck, I love you._

Unless they woke up with a blacked-out memory, he was _fucked._

He cried as he walked back to Junmyeon’s to find his car, happy at least that he recognized where he was, that somewhere safe was close considering he could barely see through his tears. Everything...Everything he had so carefully constructed about himself, tried so hard to keep hidden was in the open now.

The worst part about all of it was that he remembered them responding to his desperate whispers, his desperate love confessions, but he couldn’t, for the life of him, remember what they said. Not knowing was worse than getting no response at all, and he crumpled into a heap inside his car because of it.

He knew he shouldn’t drive in his state, but he wasn’t far from his apartment, so he took the risk anyway. His head was still in immense pain and he needed to get out of the sunlight.

He sobbed into his arm the whole way up to his apartment, so distraught he couldn’t breathe, let alone unlock the door. He fumbled with his key, sobs increasingly getting louder until the door opened on its own, Chanyeol standing before him. He was scratching his head and squinting through a clear hangover, but his expression quickly morphed into one of vicious concern when he actually got a good look at Baekhyun.

“I-I couldn’t un—I need to...to shower,” Baekhyun hiccupped, tears spilling freely down his cheeks.

“‘Course, Hyunnie, but what—“

Baekhyun just shook his head and slipped through the space between Chanyeol and the doorway, barely remembering to slip his shoes off and then immediately tripping over them. Chanyeol caught him by the arm, and Baekhyun shook him off after he regained his balance. “I just n-need to shower, Yeol.”

“Okay…” Chanyeol reluctantly relented. “It’s okay. I’ll uh, I’ll bring you some clothes to change into, yeah?”

Baekhyun barely managed to choke out a, “Thanks,” as he hurried to his bathroom.

The shower was as much a blur as the night before; he spent all of it crying—he just couldn’t fucking stop—and the last few minutes clutching his head because his headache had only gotten worse. But he managed to shakily scrub his stomach and between his thighs and even wash his hair with his stupid, trembling hands.

There were clothes on the sink when he stepped out of the shower, clumsily folded but carefully done nonetheless. He never even heard anyone come in, but he sniffled the thought away and dried himself before slipping into sweatpants that fit well—his own, then—and a soft t-shirt that clearly belonged to Chanyeol, because it was way too big. It was just the kind of comfort Baekhyun liked, however, so he knew he should thank Chanyeol later for being so attentive.

He was met with the smell of eggs and coffee when he left the bathroom, and it eased his nerves just a little. His tears had mostly stopped, anyway, finally, so he wiped at his eyes almost self-consciously as he slowly tred into the kitchen and plopped into a chair, resting his arms on the table and letting his head fall to them, uncaring to the quiet murmurs between Chanyeol and Kyungsoo at the stove.

After several moments of somewhat stifling silence following, a hand that was too small to be Chanyeol’s rubbed his back, massaging between his shoulder blades as the smell of food grew stronger, a _clink_ indicating a plate being set near him. “Eat something,” Kyungsoo’s low voice said. “I have some aspirin for you too.”

“Thanks,” Baekhyun whispered, but it was a while before he picked up his head, even though Kyungsoo shifted to sit next to him, still rubbing his back soothingly. Chanyeol was nowhere to be seen.

“I had an odd dream last night,” Kyungsoo murmured, watching Baekhyun chase an aspirin down with orange juice. Baekhyun hummed his acknowledgment. “A dream that I walked in on you screwing around with both Minseok and Jongdae.”

Baekhyun froze before he could stop himself, and Kyungsoo nodded when he felt it, and saw whatever horrified expression rested on Baekhyun’s face.

“I thought it wasn’t a dream.”

“Does anyone else know?” Baekhyun’s eyes welled up all over again. He anxiously nibbled at his toast.

“I don’t think so.” Kyungsoo shook his head. “Is this why you’re so upset? Because of what happened with them?”

Baekhyun stared down at his plate shamefully.

“Look, Baekhyun. I need you to talk with me, even if just to confirm that is what’s wrong. Chanyeol’s freaking out because he thinks you’ve been assaulted or something—“

Baekhyun jolted at the thought, shaking his head instantly, wide and wet eyes shining on Kyungsoo. “No, no, I—no it’s nothing like that, I’m—I swear—“

Kyungsoo’s hand slid up and cupped the back of his neck, squeezing comfortingly, massaging it. “Okay. It’s okay. I kind of figured it was just you freaking out over what happened, but I can’t blame him for being worried. You showed up on our doorstep crying and reeking of sex, of course that’s the first thing he thought.”

Falling against Kyungsoo’s shoulder, Baekhyun sniffled. “What am I going to do, Soo? I can’t face them now. I’ve ruined everything.”

Kyungsoo sighed. “I’m pretty sure this is a two—three?—way street, Hyun. Judging by the way Jongdae looked like he wanted to eat you both last night, I don’t really think you forced anything on them.”

“What about Minseok?” Minseok. Baekhyun’s best friend for life, now part of a threesome, a one night stand.

“God, Baekhyun. He—anyone with eyes can see how much he loves you, dumbass.”

“That’s not true,” Baekhyun muttered pitifully, curling in on himself.

Kyungsoo squeezed his shoulder more threateningly. “Your eyes don’t count.” Then, he sighed. “Look, this isn’t something I ever wanted to weigh too heavily in on or just outright claim I was right about, but I’ve known you and Minseok for three and a half years now, and he _loves you,_ Baekhyun. Having to sit out from this musical and just...watch everyone has made me more confident about that.”

“Soo…”

“You two and Jongdae have such an odd chemistry. It’s like watching a love-triangle in a drama without the _who will he choose?_ part because it’s so clear you want them both. And they want you and each other, so...as long as everything is properly reciprocated, I don’t see anything wrong with that.”

Baekhyun blinked at his food that was getting cold. “That’s not a thing, Soo. Three people can’t be together.”

“Says who?” Kyungsoo pinched his shoulder. “I admit it was touch and go there for a while. Minseok started treating you poorly out of jealousy and I wasn’t sure…” He shook his head. “But something changed. You three are special.”

Baekhyun sighed, backtracking. “If this were a drama, I’d end up with Jongdae, not my lifelong best friend.”

Kyungsoo snorted. “If this were a drama, you’d be feeling less for Minseok, or what? Realizing he’s an asshole? Do you?”

_“No.”_

“Then your life is not our typical drama, is it?”

Baekhyun bit his lip. “I guess not.”

After a quiet moment of sort-of-cuddling, Kyungsoo pushed him to sit upright. “Now that we’ve had this embarrassingly cheesy talk, think about it and eat, before that aspirin fucks up your stomach.”

“Yes, mom.”

Baekhyun flinched when Kyungsoo reared his fist back like he was going to punch Baekhyun’s thigh, but it quickly turned into a giggle and Baekhyun pressed his shoulder against Kyungsoo’s in a silent thanks.

Slowly, he ate, every bite representing a new thought, a new feeling. What Kyungsoo was saying was possible was everything Baekhyun had been telling himself was wrong for _years._ And now, suddenly, it wasn’t?

Was he allowed to love two people at once?

It wasn’t something he could accept so readily, but he _wanted_ to. And god, how selfish was he for wanting them both? The feeling was only more pronounced now that he _had_ them both, even though it was only for one night, and he couldn’t remember all of it.

Eventually, Kyungsoo cleared the plates and washed the dishes, all while Baekhyun sat there absorbed in thought, sipping on the fresh glass of water placed in front of him. Kyungsoo cleared his throat. “If you’re planning on going anywhere today, maybe...don’t.”

Baekhyun tilted his head. “What?”

Kyungsoo nudged his chin at Baekhyun, who only frowned deeper. “I don’t think even a scarf can cover up that shit. It looks like you were mauled.” Baekhyun’s hands flew to his throat. He hadn’t even noticed; wasn’t able to look at himself through the tears or his own shame. Kyungsoo chuckled. “Now go tell Chanyeol he can put his Super Suit away.”

Baekhyun obeyed. He reassured Chanyeol everything was fine, or as fine as it could be, and apologized for scaring him so deeply. It all ended in Baekhyun being crushed in a bear hug, which really wasn’t the worst thing.

They coerced Kyungsoo into watching a movie after that, and Chanyeol even gave Baekhyun the privilege of cuddling Kyungsoo in his place, swearing he was content to sit on the floor against Kyungsoo’s legs _this one time._

Kyungsoo was indulging Baekhyun, hand rubbing up and down Baekhyun’s arm while Baekhyun picked at Kyungsoo’s sweatpants when Yixing slowly emerged from the hallway, blinking away sleep and ruffling his messy hair. He sat next to Baekhyun, who used the opportunity to give Kyungsoo a reprieve and fell dramatically into Yixing’s arms instead. He whined under his breath as Yixing startled, but he held Baekhyun anyway, chuckling. “What’s wrong, pup? You didn’t win last night?”

“Win what?” Baekhyun grumbled.

“Your _men,”_ Yixing answered, as if it were obvious. “Isn’t that what we got you all handsome for?”

Baekhyun only huffed, bottom lip quivering. “I don’t have any men.”

“He’s having an existential crisis,” Kyungsoo dully supplied from the other side of Baekhyun, settling more comfortably onto the couch now that Baekhyun’s affections were being shared elsewhere. Baekhyun watched as Kyungsoo ran the backs of his fingers down Chanyeol’s neck, the subtlest affection.

Yixing gently shook Baekhyun in his arms. “Is that right?” 

Baekhyun could hear the fond smile in Yixing’s voice and it made him nuzzle closer, even if he all but shouted, _“No,”_ in response, followed by a nearly inaudible, “Yes.”

“Oh, Baekhyunnie,” Yixing murmured, kissing Baekhyun’s head. “What is this about, huh? Did they not like how you looked?”

Baekhyun shrugged.

“You three looked cozy on the dance floor last night. What went wrong, huh?”

At that, Baekhyun furrowed his brows, realization striking him. _They. Your men. You three._ He sat up to scrutinize Yixing’s face. “You expected this to happen?”

Yixing tilted his head, a gleam in his eye. “What?”

“For...For us three to...end up in bed together?”

Chanyeol’s gasp reminded Baekhyun that he had not filled Chanyeol in on the explicit details of what happened, but he pushed the thought aside to focus on Yixing’s response. Yixing brushed his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair, a distant frown on his lips. “You didn’t? I thought everyone expected that?”

Baekhyun’s disbelieving “No,” came at the same time as Kyungsoo’s deadpanned, “Yes.”

Baekhyun shook his head. “Three people can’t—“ He sighed. Both Yixing and Kyungsoo seemed so sure about this. “You guys really don’t...think I’m a terrible person?” he whispered. “For wanting them both?”

“Of course not, Baekhyunnie,” Yixing frowned at him while Kyungsoo and Chanyeol both said, “No.”

“Not everyone is built for monogamy, right?” Chanyeol chimed in. Baekhyun turned to look into his bright eyes. “It’s not against the law to care about two people at once, or three or four.” Kyungsoo nodded along with Chanyeol’s words, patting him on the head like he was telling him _good job._

“But what if they’re not—“

“Pup,” Yixing sighed. “They _are._ They _do._ We all know they both care about you, and more subtly, they care about each other.”

 _Finally._ The whispered word pushed its way to the forefront of Baekhyun’s mind, along with an image of Jongdae on top of Minseok, Baekhyun panting, watching, reaching to take their cocks in his hand to help. Jongdae and Minseok met each other for insistent kiss after insistent kiss, tongues peeking between lips. _”Finally,”_ Jongdae whispered, and Minseok sighed as Jongdae kissed the corner of his mouth. Minseok nodded. Minseok agreed.

They’d been waiting to be together.

“That day Jongdae announced you two were casual,” Yixing said, thumbs stroking Baekhyun’s cheeks to draw him back to the present. “When we were backstage? When you three went out to the sound booth and it was just me and those two…”

Baekhyun prepared himself, swallowing. “What?”

Yixing shook his head with a smile. “They thought I wasn’t paying attention, like most people do, but Jongdae asked Minseok to sit with him, and Minseok did. He sat where you had been sitting and Jongdae turned into the koala that he is and started kissing Minseok’s cheek. It was very innocent and the type of thing I’d do to any of you but it quickly turned very...longing.”

Baekhyun half-expected to feel jealousy course through him, but instead his heart swelled with some kind of happiness he wasn’t familiar with. “I mean,” Baekhyun breathed. “What if they’re only attracted to each other? Like...sexually,” he asked, remembering how Jongdae came home from the club that one time with matching hickies he’d received after Baekhyun left. “What if it’s not something that makes them...want to break the rules of society or whatever.”

“The rules of society are for chumps,” Yixing bluntly said. “There are no rules, pup. You’ve never been in a love triangle with them. It’s always been something better, something equal and meaningful. I just think Jongdae is the only one who’s realized that all along.”

“And...And Minseok?” Baekhyun whispered.

Kyungsoo cut in. “Yixing’s right. Remember how I said something changed with Minseok? He used to be moody and jealous around you and Jongdae, but…”

Yixing smiled. “But eventually he realized it too. Why not join you when he was so obviously welcome all along?”

And he _was_ always welcome. In the past month especially, the three of them had been inseparable despite Jongdae and Baekhyun agreeing to be more than friends. He was always smiling across from them, feet tangled with theirs, hands on Baekhyun every time Jongdae kissed him.

This whole time, maybe he had just been waiting for Baekhyun to turn around and kiss him, too.

“Oh my god,” Baekhyun choked.

“There’s my pup,” Yixing cooed. “Do you see what everyone else sees now?”

“I-I think so?” It was becoming harder to focus with the sudden flood of thoughts, memories, realization, adrenaline. His heart was nearly pounding out of his chest, and his feet itched to run. It was like his brain had built this wall, separating all reason from everything that had happened in the past several months, and the wall was finally crumbling, brick by brick.

He suddenly thought, though, that maybe the wall had Suzy’s name on it.

He deflated, pulling from Yixing’s grasp and sinking into the couch. “Suzy,” he sighed.

The others were all silent for a long moment, before Kyungsoo adjusted his limbs until he could scoot closer. He took Baekhyun’s hand in his. “You have to make that anxious brain of yours realize that things with Suzy were a little different.”

“I hurt her…” He hurt her because he didn’t think he was allowed to love two people at once.

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo gently said. “You did. But you hurt yourself just as much.”

Baekhyun nodded, eyes burning as he stared at his lap. Breaking up with her had felt like ripping his heart in half at the time.

“It’s okay, Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo insisted. “Maybe, _maybe_ if you had known what you know now, you could’ve figured something out. Maybe you could’ve been with both of them if they agreed to it. They wouldn’t have had to love each other for that to be possible. But I know you, Baekhyun. They weren’t even friends, let alone falling in love with each other. If that hadn’t changed, you would’ve ended up more miserable than ever.”

“Plus, wasn’t Minseok still with Max at first?” Chanyeol added.

Kyungsoo nodded. “Exactly. Nothing matched up back then, Baek.” Slowly, Baekhyun nodded too. “Now it does. Now, you have two people that you love, who very well may love each other too.”

“Okay…” Baekhyun sniffled, trying his best to accept Kyungsoo’s words.

Kyungsoo squeezed his hand again. “What you had and what happened with Suzy was very real, and realizing all these new things today doesn’t make you a bad person for breaking up with her.”

“Exactly,” Yixing said, hand patting Baekhyun’s knee. “You’re human. And maybe one day you can sit down with her and catch up, clear the air. When you’re more settled into this thing with Minseok and Jongdae.”

Kyungsoo nodded. “Now,” he said. “We’re gonna watch another movie so you can shake the rest of your hangover off and calm yourself down. Then I’ll drive you to them myself if you want me to.”

Baekhyun bit his lip, feeling the smallest of smiles stretch his lips. “Okay. Yeah.” He squeezed Kyungsoo’s hand and grabbed Yixing’s in his other. “Thank you. I love you guys.”

“We love you, too, pup,” Yixing murmured before tugging Baekhyun back into his embrace for cuddles. Chanyeol took that as his cue to change the movie, and they all settled in so Baekhyun could sort through his thoughts.

 

Baekhyun blearily blinked his eyes open to find he was no longer in the living room. He frowned, picking his head up to squint at the alarm clock on his bedside table, only to see his phone and pick that up instead. _5:06 P.M._ He groaned.

His talk with his roommates that morning wasn’t even fuzzy, let alone forgotten, and he remembered the way his brain practically buzzed with the overload of thoughts he was having. It made him completely zone out and miss everything happening around him, so how did he manage to fall asleep?

He supposed a large part of it had to do with Yixing’s gentle, soothing ministrations, actually. The way he slipped his hand under Baekhyun’s shirt to rub his back, the way he absently massaged Baekhyun’s scalp. Plus, Baekhyun did tend to sleep his days away when he was hungover, instead of instilling his moodiness and exhaustion on the world. Sighing, he sat up and looked at his phone again.

Twenty-one messages and four missed calls.

He rolled onto his stomach and hugged his pillow, propping his chin on it as he reluctantly unlocked his phone. His mind had settled enough for him to be dripping in embarrassment now, for running away from Minseok and Jongdae when the adult thing to do would have been to stay and talk to them. The logical side of him knew they wouldn’t be mad, per se, but they deserved better than what he gave them.

With that thought in mind, he opened his text messages. Most of them were more or less the same from Jongdae. In fact, most of them were from Jongdae, period. Minseok had only sent one, he had a couple from Taeyeon, and one thumbs up emoji from Yixing. 

>> **jongdae**  
_i know you’re freaking out_  
_babe please take a deep_  
_breath, ok? we can talk_  
_whenever you’re ready_

>> **jongdae**  
_i never meant for it to_  
_happen like this i’m so_  
_sorry_

>> **minseok**  
_baekhyunnie. breathe._

>> **jongdae**  
_minseok is on his way to_  
_you_

>> **jongdae**  
_he’s just so fucking worried_  
_about you_

>> **jongdae**  
_we both are_

>> **jongdae**  
_< 3 <3 <3_

 **baekhyun** <<  
_i’m so sorry for_  
_running out like i did_  
_you both deserve so_  
_much better than that._  
_i care about you so_  
_much. please forgive me._

He sent the same message to both of them, and decided to wait. He tried to prepare himself for anything, for the different things they could say, for calls instead of texts, for rejection, even. He was pretty sure sleep had helped him accept the whole _you can be with both of them_ thing, but being immature enough to run away could change things for them, maybe. He was prepared for the worst. Hopeful for the best.

What he did not prepare himself for, was a knock on his door.

“Soo?” he called out as he recovered his phone he promptly dropped.

The door creaked open, and familiar soft, black hair made an appearance, making Baekhyun’s heart skip a beat, breath stutter in his throat.

“Minseok,” he breathed.

Minseok tentatively smiled, but it was warm all the same. “Can I come in?”

“Of course—“ Baekhyun quickly sat up, straightening his shirt and smoothing down his hair until Minseok closed the door behind him and sat on the edge of the bed. “I’m s—“

Minseok shook his head. “Don’t.” His smile was gentle now. “I understand why you ran, Baek. You don’t have to apologize more than you already did.” Minseok waved his phone in front of him before leaning over to put it on the nightstand, and Baekhyun nodded. He helped Minseok scoot further onto the bed until they were both cross-legged, knee to knee, face to face.

“You’ve been here?” Baekhyun asked. “How long were you waiting?”

“A couple of hours.” Minseok shrugged. “Kyungsoo said you needed to sleep, so I waited.”

Baekhyun frowned. “You should’ve woken me up. I didn’t even mean to fall asleep—“

Cautiously, Minseok reached up, caressing Baekhyun’s undereye with his thumb. The touch was meant to calm Baekhyun down, stop his rambling. “You always sleep your hangovers away, Baek. Don’t worry about that. I’d…” Minseok took a shuddering breath and his hand shifted to cup Baekhyun’s cheek. Baekhyun felt the wall between them crumble to the ground. “I’d wait forever for you.”

Baekhyun’s nose burned as he grasped at Minseok’s arm hanging between them, cupping his wrist, sliding his fingers over Minseok’s hand. Their locked gazes were unwavering, and Baekhyun knew what he had never believed before, could finally see it in Minseok’s open-book expression, could feel what Minseok meant.

Baekhyun breathed the biggest sigh of relief. “I’d wait forever for you, too.”

It wasn’t an outright _I love you,_ and there were so many things they needed to talk about, so many things that needed to be sorted, but it _was_ a confession, a very real one that lifted the weight of the world from Baekhyun’s shoulders in an instant. Right here, right now, all that mattered was Baekhyun and Minseok, and the waves of their love crashing between them, everything they needed to know in the depths of the oceans in their eyes.

“I never thought—”

Minseok shook his head to stop Baekhyun’s whisper. “You’re a little dense, you know that?” 

“Wh—“ But whatever Baekhyun planned to say in response was wiped clean from his memory, replaced with the feeling of Minseok’s soft lips surging forward to meet his, of Minseok’s hand sinking from his cheek, into his hair.

Baekhyun pressed closer, until their legs overlapped and his hands were fisted in Minseok’s t-shirt, sighing as Minseok kissed his bottom lip, then his top, his chin, the corner of his mouth. Kissing Minseok as a grown-up, sober, was like coming home. Just like it had felt all those years ago in his bedroom closet. 

Minseok’s tongue tracing his lips felt the same, Minseok tasted the same; he still knew how to pull whimpers from Baekhyun’s throat. The biggest difference now was that Minseok was a monumentally better kisser than he was when he was seventeen, and when neither of them were drunk off their asses.

To Baekhyun’s horror, he felt his eyes well up with tears and he lurched forward to bury his face in Minseok’s neck, breathing shakily as Minseok held him close without question, gathered him closer on his lap.

“Kyungsoo spoke with me while you were asleep. Oh, Baekhyunnie,” he whispered. “I’ve loved you for so long. How did you never notice?”

Baekhyun’s heart exploded, and a tear slipped down his cheek, but it was happiness that pushed it out, not uncertainty or sadness. “You’re the one who called me dense.”

Minseok laughed, turning his face and nudging Baekhyun’s head until he faced him. “I guess we’re both a little dense. I was just waiting for you to notice me.” Minseok muttered right before he pressed another deeply gratifying kiss to Baekhyun’s lips, one that made him gasp and press closer all at once, one that there was no turning back from any time soon.

“I love you,” he whispered just before their tongues caressed between their lips. Minseok shuddered beneath him, grip tightening in Baekhyun’s hair. “I love you so much.”

This time, when Baekhyun was pressed into the sheets, they were warm, inviting, a sea of affection for them to drown in as Minseok kissed his way reverently down Baekhyun’s neck. His mouth traced the reminders of last night, pressing his lips against every single one as if they were precious to him, whether the bruises were made by him or not.

The fleeting thought struck Baekhyun as important, so he said, “We’ll talk— _after,”_ gasping out his last word when Minseok rucked up his shirt enough to thumb at his nipples. Baekhyun hadn’t expected to be overcome this strongly by passion after a simple, easy confession, but he knew, too, that this was years in the making, that if the previous night had been the string of tension between them finally snapping, this was the rush of water through a broken dam that had been leaking all along while no one realized it.

Minseok’s nod was overshadowed by Baekhyun’s desperate tugging at Minseok’s clothing, and together they took off their shirts, mouths meeting again in a frantic kiss as Minseok pressed his crotch firmly against Baekhyun’s. He blindly shoved at Minseok’s sweatpants, getting them past his butt and breathing the words, _”Take me.”_

Minseok cursed and propped himself up with one hand, touching Baekhyun’s face with his other. “Baekhyun, Baek, should we slow down?”

Baekhyun’s breath rattled as he forced himself to stop clawing at Minseok’s skin. He focused on Minseok’s flushed face, reaching up to drag his fingers along Minseok’s cheek. “If you want to, we can.” Gently, Baekhyun’s trembling fingers traced Minseok’s lips. “But I’ve been in love with you for six years, maybe longer, so please don’t hold back on my account.”

“I think—” Minseok adjusted his hips, making them both gasp. Minseok’s voice dropped down to a whisper, his lips inching closer to Baekhyun’s with every word. “I think I’ve been in love with you my entire life.”

This time, when they surged together, crashed into each other’s shores, there was nothing to stop them, nothing to pull them apart until they reached the end.

They didn’t stop kissing once their clothes were gone. They kissed while Minseok had one finger deep inside Baekhyun, three fingers, his cock. They were completely lost in each other, inseparable, hands entwined, souls entwining. Baekhyun could feel pleasure on every inch of his skin, rushing through his veins, pulsing in his gut.

When he came, it was with tears in his eyes, a cry into Minseok’s bitten-red lips, and Minseok’s resolve disintegrating above him as his release followed mere moments after.

When they both came down from the absolute high, Baekhyun wrapped his arms around Minseok’s neck, his leg around Minseok’s hip, and clung like his life depended on it when they rolled onto their sides. He relished in the feeling of Minseok’s hands smoothing up and down his sweat-dampened back. “Hi,” Baekhyun whispered into his neck.

“Hi.” Minseok squeezed him tighter before Baekhyun pulled away enough to see Minseok’s face. He brushed some of Minseok’s sweaty hair from his forehead, and leaned in for a gentle, lethargic kiss.

Baekhyun inhaled sharply when Minseok sunk his fingers into his hair, deepening the kiss for only a moment before Baekhyun pressed their foreheads together. “I don’t think I’ve ever kissed someone so much in my life,” he said, and couldn’t help the smile that stretched his face. Though they had jumped the gun and so much remained unresolved, he couldn’t deny the happiness blooming within him. He never expected to have Minseok. In any capacity.

“Not even Jongdae?” Minseok’s gaze was steady and his hand slipped down Baekhyun’s arm, fingers soothing where they started stroking up and down his skin.

Baekhyun bit his lip. “Not even him. He...gets distracted too easily.”

Warmth burgeoned in his chest when Minseok laughed. “Yeah, he does, doesn’t he?”

Baekhyun could only nod, making the tips of their noses graze. He knew this was it, the segue into The Big Talk, but he didn’t know where to start, what to say. He could still feel residual pleasure in his belly and Minseok’s come slowly dripping from him, which was enough to short-circuit his brain without all the other stuff.

“Where do we even start, Baekhyunnie?” Minseok whispered, and the question alone was enough to ease Baekhyun’s sudden nerves, to know he wasn’t alone in being overwhelmed.

Baekhyun smiled. “Maybe we should just start from the beginning.”

Minseok, like he couldn’t resist, leaned forward to steal a kiss. “That sounds reasonable,” he said, nodding. “Shower?”

“You read my mind.”

In the shower, they talked through Baekhyun’s sixteenth birthday party, what Baekhyun felt and realized back then, and how that was the start of him feeling shut down where Minseok was concerned.

“I panicked,” Minseok explained with his soapy fingers sunk deep into Baekhyun’s hair, torn between sheepish and sorrowful. “I convinced myself that the kiss was a fluke, and that if you were interested in me suddenly, it was only because you were curious and I—“ Minseok sighed. “I just panicked. We should’ve talked back then.”

“We were kids,” Baekhyun said, shaking his head. He smiled. “And Max was hot.”

Chuckling, Minseok nodded. “Yeah, he was. I still shouldn’t have accepted when he asked me out though.”

“Why not? You were together for such a long time.”

“I...think I used him as an excuse mostly. First he was a distraction from you, then when you started...experimenting...he was a distraction from you.”

“And when I started seeing Suzy?”

Minseok dropped his gaze, eyebrows furrowing and fingers against Baekhyun’s scalp becoming gentler. “That was when I realized that no matter what I did, I would never stop loving you.”

Baekhyun couldn’t stop the well of tears in his eyes, as much as he wished he could just turn his tear ducts off for a little while. “Same here.” His sniffle caught Minseok’s attention, and he closed his eyes as he was engulfed in a hug, pushing the tears out while Minseok wasn’t looking. 

“I’m so sorry, Baekhyun,” Minseok whispered. “I knew the breakup was hard on you, but Kyungsoo told me...I’m so sorry.”

Wiping at his face, Baekhyun pulled back and cupped Minseok’s face in his hands. “I hope you’re not apologizing because you’re blaming yourself. I knew I loved you when I started dating her. I just didn’t...I didn’t expect to fall for her so quickly, and there was this voice in my head telling me I couldn’t love two people at once, and if my feelings for you didn’t fade, I might as well be cheating and I…” He shook his head, a wave of shame overcoming him. “I didn’t give her a chance. In my head, I was already hurting her. 

“So I ended it, and hurt her and myself, for real. I didn’t think I’d ever recover from that—“ Baekhyun took a deep breath. “And sometimes I think I still haven’t. But it’s not your fault. It’s my stupid, anxious brain’s fault, and just...residual guilt.” He stroked his thumbs along Minseok’s cheeks. “But I realize now it’s...maybe not such a bad thing to love two people at once. Is it?”

Minseok’s smile was small, like he was still sad but also pleased at Baekhyun’s transition. “I’m still so sorry, Baekhyun.” Baekhyun shook his head, and Minseok bit his lip. “I think that brings us to Jongdae, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun smiled, too. “Yeah, it does.”

Quickly, they rinsed Baekhyun’s hair one last time and dried each other off. Baekhyun, distracting Minseok with kisses, dragged them back to bed without clothes, pleased as he hummed at the feeling of the sheets on his bare skin and their limbs tangling between them.

“I was jealous,” was the first thing Minseok said as his fingers laced with Baekhyun’s. “From the second you and Jongdae met, I knew you would be a force to be reckoned with. Everyone could see it that day. The...chemistry? The sparks.”

“He was...very unexpected.”

At that, Minseok laughed. “I’ll say.” His eyes slid shut when Baekhyun used their entwined hands to brush back his hair. “It was hard at first, to watch you fall head over heels for him.”

“Only at first?”

Minseok’s smile widened. “It started as pure jealousy, and then...one day when I didn’t know what I was feeling anymore, Jongdae just goes, _’so what? You’re just gonna give up? That easily?’_ and I was so shocked, because he didn’t seem to think I would be interfering with whatever was happening with you two.”

“Wait, really?” Baekhyun laughed.

Minseok nodded. “At first I was offended. Like, this kid thinks I’m not competition!”

“But that’s exactly the reaction he wanted.”

“Yes. He sparked something in me. I wasn’t confident all the time.” Minseok sighed. “Seeing you two kiss for the first time was hard, and I reacted poorly. And before that, when I had come over and it looked like you two had been kissing, I thought it was only right to...hand you over, I guess. To give up.”

Baekhyun remembered that day, and how it had felt exactly like that, like Minseok was handing Baekhyun over to a stranger to be married or something. “How did he get you out of that rut?”

“He was always whispering in my ear about it. He wasn’t whispering in yours?” Minseok searched Baekhyun’s face. “Telling me to be patient, that things could work out for all three of us. By the time we seemed to be deep in… _something,_ with all the touching and tension, he brought up polyamory, polygamy. And...And part of me knew it was the only way, I think. I knew that what I felt for Jongdae was much different than what I felt for Max, because it was very similar to what I felt for you.”

Baekhyun took a moment to be mildly offended that for who-knew-how-long, the two people his heart had been at war over had been discussing what had been holding him back all this time. But after a moment of processing, breathing, realizing, he smiled. “I think...Jongdae knows us way better than we could ever give him credit for.” _Maybe he knows me better than I know myself._ “I think he probably knew you would be most resistant to an idea like that, like us all being together, right? I can’t imagine you, a traditionalist, coming up with that on your own.” He dropped an apologetic kiss to Minseok’s lips. “And he knew that I live in my feelings for you both and merely had to be led there. He knew about my struggle with Suzy so he wanted to wait until he felt like I was ready, I imagine.”

“And then last night happened.”

“And then last night happened.” Baekhyun huffed. “Before we talk about that, though, I wanna backtrack. How did you and Jongdae become...a thing? Were you...seeing each other like he and I were? Or…”

“No,” Minseok insisted, eyes widening a little. It was cute. “For the sake of full disclosure, we…” He cleared his throat. “We did kiss that night at the club, after you ran.”

Baekhyun felt his jaw drop before he could stop it. “I knew you gave him a hickey but…”

Minseok scrunched his nose, making Baekhyun giggle. “I hate that word. I did, though. I was...so worked up, and honestly, I was so angry with Jongdae for presenting you to me like that, for encouraging me to give in just a little. I thought I’d ruined everything.”

“You were angry with Dae so you...made out with him?”

“...Yes?” Minseok grimaced. “It wasn’t my most shining moment. But I don’t think I regret it, now. Once I slept off the anger, I realized it wasn’t only that, it wasn’t only the bad things like anger and jealousy that pushed me to kiss him.”

“You liked him.”

“I did.”

Baekhyun hummed. “Is that when you started hanging out outside of like, rehearsals and...me?”

“No, actually. We started hanging out...pretty much as soon as the semester kicked off. A few rehearsals in.”

“Oh?” That surprised Baekhyun maybe more than anything else. He hadn’t even known until breakfast that one day, that they were friends outside of the musical and Baekhyun.

Minseok nodded. “We kept running into each other at the coffee shop, on the days I didn’t meet up with you. We finally sat down one morning and realized our schedules those days were similar. Not only did we have class at the same time, but in the same building.” Minseok chuckled. “If Jongdae was persistent enough, sometimes we even walked back to the coffee shop afterwards and had lunch together.”

Baekhyun pouted. “So while I was having an existential crisis, you guys were living in a coffee shop AU! That’s not fair.” His pout gave way to a smile though, so Minseok laughed.

“I’m a little upset I even know what you’re talking about.”

Sticking his lip out further, Baekhyun leaned in. “You put up with my avid fanfiction phase. You really _do_ love me.”

Minseok’s resulting laugh was sweet, full-bodied, and Baekhyun could feel Minseok’s joy in his bones when he yanked Baekhyun into a kiss. “I really, _really_ do.”

“So where does that leave us?” Baekhyun whispered after a moment. “We like him, and he likes us. Right?”

“Yes.” Minseok nodded. “I don’t know how any of this works. I don’t know how a three-way relationship can even work, but...I’m willing to try if you are. For you. For him. For me.”

Baekhyun cupped Minseok’s face. “For us.” He nodded. “I’m willing to try too, no matter how much it feels like it isn’t real.” He wasn’t even sure he would be able to believe it when Jongdae was with them. It was too good to be true.

“It _is_ real, Baekhyun. And now that I have you, I’ll never let you forget it.”

Baekhyun’s eyes closed at the feeling of Minseok’s lips on his hand. “It might take me awhile to get used to it,” he murmured. “I’m a little broken, y’know?”

“That’s okay. I think it’s pretty clear by now that I’m willing to wait.”

Baekhyun leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to Minseok’s lips, intending to pull away after a few seconds, but finding himself so drawn in by the sensation that he couldn’t. He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but he was aware when voices started getting loud in the hallway. 

Minseok blinked at Baekhyun. “Is that—”

_”Jongdae, I swear to god—”_

_”You might be tiny and terrifying but you will not stop me from going in there!”_

Hand on Minseok’s stomach, Baekhyun sat up in anticipation, not completely sure he was ready for whatever was about to happen, but earnest all the same. He listened to the scuffling outside the bedroom door, a smile growing on his face, and Minseok laced their fingers just before the door was thrown open.

And there Jongdae was, slamming the door shut in Kyungsoo’s face, panting to catch his breath, making Baekhyun’s heart thud in his ears. Minseok squeezed his hand. “Hi,” Baekhyun breathed.

Jongdae smiled. “Hi.” Then, suddenly, he straightened from where he’d slumped against the door, eyes flicking between Baekhyun and Minseok. “Well don’t you two look cozy.” He smirked. “And _naked.”_

Baekhyun and Minseok groaned in sync when Jongdae wiggled his eyebrows at them, but all three of them melted into laughter, and their laughter melted into a tentative silence.

Jongdae took a step forward. “I’m going to ask you guys a series of questions, and I need you to answer them honestly, okay?”

“Yes, Detective Kim,” Minseok muttered, and Baekhyun snickered.

“Kinky.” Jongdae winked. “Anyway. Okay. First. Have you talked?”

Baekhyun softened all around the edges. He nodded. “Yes. Probably not about everything, but...enough.”

Jongdae beamed. “So you’ve confessed? Outside of last night when we were all too drunk to do what we did?”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun peered over his shoulder at Minseok, smile soft. Minseok reached up to stroke his cheek. “Yeah, we have.”

 _”Finally!”_ Jongdae cheered, startling Baekhyun from his staring. “Holy fuck, you guys are adorable. _Look at you.”_ Baekhyun watched as Jongdae appeared to physically reel his excitement back in. “I’m so proud of you both.”

“Dae…” Baekhyun started, but Jongdae frantically waving his hands stopped him.

“No, no, no! Don’t look at me all sweet like that until I get the rest of these questions out!” Baekhyun chuckled and bit his lip to keep from saying anything else, waiting for Jongdae to continue. Jongdae took a breath. “Baek, are you okay now about last night? Are you still freaking out?”

Baekhyun shook his head. “No, I don’t think so.”

Hope ignited in Jongdae’s eyes and he asked, “Do either of you regret last night? I know we were drunk but—”

“No,” Baekhyun and Minseok said at the same time, and they glanced at each other, simultaneously surprised and pleased. Baekhyun looked back at Jongdae, a new found confidence puffing his chest out. “No, we don’t regret last night.”

“Do you—” Jongdae’s breath shook, making Baekhyun’s heart lurch in sudden concern. “Do you guys want me here? Like...permanently? With you?”

Jongdae was the one who had apparently been pushing for the three of them to be together this whole time, but Baekhyun knew what it was like for anxiety-induced paranoia to strike. The words were so vulnerable, so unsure, so unlike the Jongdae they were used to seeing every day, but everyone was allowed to doubt. Baekhyun felt himself jolt forward as the words reached his chest, wanting to reach out to Jongdae, touch him, hold him, but Minseok held him back. Minseok squeezed his hand, and said, “Jongdae, I think we want you here as much as we want each other.”

Baekhyun glanced at Minseok but settled his gaze right back on Jongdae, nodding and trying his best to convey his feelings on his face, plain for Jongdae to see. If Jongdae had spent nearly every moment since they’d met trying to instill confidence in Baekhyun, Baekhyun could do the same for him. 

He watched as Jongdae’s cheeks reddened, as he nodded and his eyes welled with tears. But as quickly as they were there, Jongdae blinked them away, plastering on a sleazy grin. “So how was the sex, huh?”

Baekhyun knew Jongdae was deflecting, but it was somehow still mortifying to hear him ask, so Baekhyun fell back to the bed with a groan, dragging the bed sheet over his face. He heard Minseok’s snort, which completely contradicted his exasperatedly fond sigh of Jongdae’s name, but Baekhyun was immediately distracted by the sudden weight on his legs, scrambling forward.

The sheet was tugged from Baekhyun’s face. “C’mere,” Jongdae muttered just before his mouth crashed into Baekhyun’s, cleansing the last pieces of residual doubt from Baekhyun’s veins. Baekhyun chased Jongdae’s lips when he pulled back to whisper, “Do you remember what you said to me last night?”

 _Dae, I love you._ Baekhyun swallowed, but he nodded, wide eyes searching Jongdae’s misty ones.

“Do you remember what I said back?”

“No,” Baekhyun breathed. It was all still cut into pieces in his brain, gaping holes of memories lost.

Jongdae nodded, his hands firmly clutching Baekhyun’s head. Right against Baekhyun’s lips, Jongdae said, “I love you, too.”

The swell of emotion in Baekhyun was too overwhelming to bear. He surged, wrapping himself around Jongdae, kissing him over and over and _over_ again until he absolutely couldn’t breathe anymore. He thought maybe they were both crying, but Baekhyun knew there were no anxious tears left to cry, only happy ones.

He didn’t fret when Jongdae was gently taken from him, because he knew he wasn’t going far. Jongdae was pulled until he was straddling Minseok’s lap instead, until he was kissing Minseok’s lips instead. Baekhyun wiped the last of the tears from his face as he rolled onto his side to watch them, entranced by the familiarity with which they kissed each other. The way Jongdae’s tongue sweeping into Minseok’s mouth was a little more timid, but no less passionate. 

“You...” Jongdae whispered. “I didn’t say anything before you left because I had to be sure, but—”

“I know.” Minseok nodded, stroking the back of his fingers down Jongdae’s cheek. “I feel the same.”

It was different, to watch the same sort of crash happen that Baekhyun had just experienced, to witness Minseok and Jongdae coming together in their own, quieter way. Where Jongdae always took the lead when he was with Baekhyun, he fully submitted when faced with Minseok, all quiet whimpers and needy whines, instead of heady sighs and gentle encouragements.

Arousal spiked in Baekhyun’s belly when Minseok suddenly flipped Jongdae over, tangling them in the sheets, pinning his arms to the bed, kisses reaching a new level of heat. Their whispered _I love yous_ weren’t lost on Baekhyun, but Jongdae’s moans short-circuited Baekhyun’s thoughts. He peered down to see Minseok’s thigh wedged against Jongdae’s crotch, drawing a quiet groan from himself as well.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” Jongdae panted into Minseok’s mouth. “And naked.”

“I think you mentioned that already,” Minseok murmured.

Jongdae squirmed under Minseok’s weight. “It’s a very important fact to note.” He gasped as he rubbed against Minseok’s thigh. “Because I am not naked at all but would very much like to be if you keep this up.”

“Min…” Baekhyun chuckled, sitting up to grasp Minseok’s wrists, pulling them from Jongdae. Together, he and Minseok rose, the sheets pooling around Baekhyun’s knees as he climbed to them, and sliding his lips into place against Minseok’s while Jongdae yanked his shirt off.

“Baekhyun, _god,”_ Jongdae whispered, touch reverent where his hand brushed along Baekhyun’s bare hip. “You’re so perfect. Are you really mine? Ours?”

Minseok and Baekhyun’s lips parted with a _smack_ and Minseok helped Baekhyun turn around, hiking his leg over Jongdae’s stomach as Minseok swiped the lube from the nightstand. Minseok already had one finger deep inside him by the time his lips reached Jongdae’s.

He finally whispered, “Always.”

 

It was well into the early morning hours of the next day when they were finally curled up in bed together, satiated, fed, hydrated, and freshly showered (again). The sheets were in a pile on the floor and they were laying on a blanket, but Baekhyun didn’t care. He was so tangled with his _boyfriends—_ they’d officially decided that over dinner—that he didn’t know where he began and they ended, and it was the best feeling in the world, to be so close to someone you couldn’t even tell limb from limb.

Baekhyun, for the first time in a long time, was well and truly _happy._

“Baekhyunnie?” Minseok’s whisper broke through the sleepy silence. Jongdae was already quietly snoring in Baekhyun’s ear.

“Hmm?”

“What are you thinking about?”

Baekhyun hummed, parsing through the thousand thoughts in his mind. “Well for one, I’m thinking that it’s too late to edit the musical and add another sexual awakening to it.”

The way Minseok’s eyes crinkled when he laughed had always been one of Baekhyun’s favorite things, and now was no different. Baekhyun grabbed Minseok’s jaw to yank him in and kiss his smile, something he’d wanted to do for years, and Minseok just smiled wider, and then so did Baekhyun, leaving no room for kissing anymore.

“Hey, Baekhyunnie,” Minseok murmured again, kissing the corner of his mouth. 

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

Baekhyun’s eyes fell shut, the happiness too overwhelming for anything else. “I love you, too.”

“Why did it take us so long to say that?”

Kissing each cheek, Minseok’s nose, his lips, Baekhyun said, “I don’t know. But we’re saying it now, and I’m so happy.”

“Me too.”

If Baekhyun held Jongdae’s hand and kissed Minseok until they fell asleep, no one but them had to know.

+++

“You know, I’ve never seen you this happy.”

Baekhyun bit the inside of his cheek, dropping his gaze to the floor as Taeyeon attached his mic to his clothes. They were in the first round of people to be put through hair and makeup, and had assigned themselves to the electronics room, to get everyone set up with their battery pack and microphone.

It was opening night.

The last week had been a blur of dress rehearsals and set painting and booking catering, selling out every night of their performances and adding a handwritten _S_ to the end of every _Blooming Day_ on the already-printed programs. Baekhyun had wanted _some_ representation of his newfound happiness.

Baekhyun’s first _Blooming Day_ was on a day like any other, average at the start, but ended with him discovering his bisexuality and falling in love with his best friend. But when the boxes of programs arrived, Baekhyun stood there staring at them until he realized that meeting Jongdae was no different. That day, Baekhyun had stumbled through classes, consumed too much coffee, and spent way too much time in the auditorium. There was nothing special about that day, until Jongdae walked onto that stage and changed everything.

Taeyeon patted his back to indicate she was done and he spun around to face her. “I’ve never been this happy.”

Taeyeon cupped his cheek. “It looks good on you. They’re good for you.”

“Thanks, Tae. That means a lot.”

She grinned. “I’m just glad you finally got your men. It took you long enough, y’know? Especially to end up with Minseok, jesus christ—”

“Okay, okay!” Baekhyun laughed through his pout. “I’m just glad everyone has been so accepting so far.” They had kept their relationship to themselves over the month-long winter break; it was the perfect time to really test the waters, only looping in closest friends and Baekhyun and Minseok’s parents. Baekhyun hadn’t been sure what the best approach would be to coming out at school. Should they have explicitly come out with some kind of announcement? Only tell the musical theatre kids? Not say a word and just let people speculate on their own? In the end, they’d committed to a mixture of the last two, telling select musical theatre classmates, and letting everyone else speculate. The news had spread like wildfire though, of course.

“As if everyone hasn’t been rooting for you this whole time.” Taeyeon rolled her eyes.

Seulgi popped her head through the gap in the doorway. “Hey Baek,” she stage-whispered. “I think your mom is interrogating Jongdae.”

“What?” Baekhyun laughed, only half-panicking. “But she already knows him?”

Seulgi shrugged and disappeared. Exchanging a curious glance with Taeyeon, Baekhyun slipped through the door as well, using filing cabinets and clothes racks to hide himself until he got close enough to the vanity station Jongdae and Baekhyun’s mother were at. Baekhyun’s mother was helping with hair and makeup; she always did for the musicals Baekhyun participated in. 

_”You have to look after him,”_ his mother was saying. _”I like you a lot, Jongdae, but I will hunt you down if you let him get hurt.”_

Baekhyun pinched his nose, and Jongdae said, _“He’ll always be safe with me. I could never hurt him. I...I don’t know what I’d do without him—“_

Hands slid onto Baekhyun’s hips and he was just proud of himself for not yelping and blowing his cover. “You’re eavesdropping,” Minseok whispered in his ear, and Baekhyun slid around in his arms to shine a sheepish smile on him.

“I heard she was interrogating him,” he whispered back. He wrapped his arms around Minseok’s neck.

“You know she wouldn’t actually be mean to him. She loves him. I think this is just the first time she’s actually gotten to talk with him without you or us around.”

Baekhyun hummed, only pouting a little. “I hate logic.” He dipped in for a soft kiss. “But I love you.”

“So cheesy,” Minseok murmured, but he didn’t stop Baekhyun from indulging in kiss after kiss, tongues tracing the shapes of smiles.

Someone wolf-whistled at the same time Chanyeol jokingly yelled, _”Get a room!”_ and their cover was blown immediately.

The clothes in the clothes rack next to them split down the middle, revealing a playfully stern Mrs. Byun. “Dang it, Baekhyun. You three really are inseparable, aren’t you?”

Baekhyun laughed nervously. “I had to make sure you weren’t freaking him out, Ma.”

Jongdae rounded the rack, shaking his head with a fond smile. “It wasn’t so bad.” His hair and makeup were pristine, and he looked so unbelievably handsome. “Was actually kind of thrilling. No one’s parent has ever grilled me before.”

Laughing, Baekhyun’s mom gestures toward herself. “Alright, Seokkie, your turn, come on.”

“My turn to be interrogated?”

They all laughed. Mrs. Byun shook her head, the fond gaze of a mother looking at a son as she said, “We had this talk when you were eight. Do you remember?”

After a second’s hesitation, Minseok nodded. “Ah, yes. It’s the same talk?”

“It’s the same talk, darling. Now come on, we have to get you all cleaned up for the stage!”

Minseok laughed and nodded, gently pecking Baekhyun’s lips one more time before pulling away, and letting Jongdae pull him in for a quick kiss too. Once he was seated in the chair, Baekhyun and Jongdae smiled at each other.

“You look handsome,” Baekhyun said, feeling the thrill of Jongdae entwining their fingers crawl up his veins.

Jongdae hummed, leaning forward to press their lips together. “You always look handsome.”

Baekhyun groaned. “Don’t one-up my compliment!”

“And why the hell not?” Jongdae whined as they made their way toward the electronics room. “You deserve all my praise. Half my praise? We’ve still gotta figure out how to word these things.”

Baekhyun giggled and shook his head, falling back one step to instead press forward and cling to Jongdae from behind, letting him lead the way.

 

“Are you nervous?” Minseok asked as they stood at the edge of the curtains, just out of sight from the crowd of the auditorium. Extras were already in place in the dark on stage. All that was left was for the music to start and cue the cast’s grand entrance.

Baekhyun was bouncing up and down on his toes, despite Jongdae’s effort to keep him grounded, with his hands on Baekhyun’s shoulders. Baekhyun huffed. “Of course I am. I’m presenting myself to the world—the town?—in multiple ways tonight. Vocals, acting, playwright, composer, bisexual. All of that and I didn’t even have time to work in polyamory, too. Like, I wish I could’ve just gone for it all. Laid it all out—“

Minseok grabbed his head and yanked him into a kiss. “You’ve got this.”

Baekhyun took a deep breath. “Yeah, I’ve got this.” He huffed again. “We’ve got this.”

“Hell yeah we do!” Jongdae said, and Kyungsoo stepped in front of them, headset on to communicate with Chanyeol, Taeyeon, and Heechul during the first act. It was time, then.

Kyungsoo grinned at Baekhyun. “You ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

They could see the lights flash through the curtains, warning people of the show starting. The auditorium gradually fell quiet. Kyungsoo cupped Baekhyun’s cheek. “I’m proud of you, Hyunnie.”

Baekhyun grasped his hand. He knew Kyungsoo wasn’t only talking about the play. “Thanks, Soo.”

“Alright,” Kyungsoo raised his voice for the others to hear. “Get ready guys. Heechul’s counting down in my ear. Five, four…”

Jongdae stuck his head between Baekhyun and Minseok’s. “I love you both. Let’s kick ass!”

Laughing, Baekhyun nodded. _Three, two…_ “Let’s do this thing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you SO MUCH if you've stuck with this until the end! please let me know what you thought in the comments!!! <3
> 
> you can find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/baekville).


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